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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or even immoral over house sale? Legal/ estate agent input especially welcome

96 replies

horsish · 19/03/2008 17:38

I have been trying to sell my house for months without much luck. Recently a potential buyer, mr X liked the house, had it surveyed, and said he was prepared to offer x amount (quite a bit below asking price), realised this was less than we hoped but wanted to be upfront BEFORE putting offer in.

We thought about it and agreed to accept an offer of that amount and told him so. He is currently overseas and emailed back to say he would indeed be putting in an offer for x.
That was ten days ago and i have not heard from him.

I was for taking it off the market but agent advised not to till legal offer received.

Meanwhile Mrs Y comes along , loves the house and offers Y which is ABOVE the asking price. Estate agent has ben trying to get a hold of Mr X ( who is NOT likely to up his offer anyway)but he is not answering any communication

AIBU to accept the higher offer having verbally agreed the lower ( which has not been made in writing)?

OP posts:
uttertripe · 08/04/2008 00:29

aw, now thats pretty out of order actually, of the neighbours to lay it on so thick. youre not a flaming charity. and whats so blinkin bad about mrs Y?? they will have to grow up and get over it.
glad youre feeling better

catsmother · 08/04/2008 00:56

Your neighbours are behaving appallingly. They may have got all excited about the prospect of one of their friends becoming their new neighbour but he didn't step up to the mark - end of.

Who can throw away thousands these days to keep the neighbours happy ....... jeez !

Original poster
horsish · 08/04/2008 08:24

Thank you catsmother.
Is there ANYONE who thinks I was unreasonable?

OP posts:
Lulumama · 08/04/2008 08:29

not at all

he loved the house, but not enough to make a formal offer or even to get back to you with an offer within a week.. he did not love it that much !!

your neighbours are being totally unreasonable

no-one can afford to take a hit on the housing market at the moment, so if you got a better offer that came to fruition, then great!

you cannot afford to subsidise someone elses friendship this way

YANBU and am sorry that the neighbours don;t see it this way

Mr X had ample time to make a formal offer.

peanutbear · 08/04/2008 08:30

ow do they know all the details do the actually know mr x or mrs Y
I think you have to go with the person that made the higher offer if they are in a position to move now and can be contacted
If mr X is this hard to contact it could take months for the sale to go through

edam · 08/04/2008 08:33

Your old neighbours are being completely unreasonable. And daft - have they never sold a house? Would they kiss goodbye to thousands of pounds to make you feel better? I doubt it.

littlepinkpixie · 08/04/2008 08:35

YANBU, you acted correctly, and why should you effectivly be handing thousands of pounds to Mr X?

OrmIrian · 08/04/2008 08:41

Of course you are not unreasonable. It's a shame that your neighbours aren't happy but i can't be helped.

Beelliesebub · 08/04/2008 09:15

I don't think you're unreasonable.... In fact I think your ex-neighbours are.
I think Mr X probably put in such a low offer because he had inside info from your them about how many viewings and offers you'd had and besides he has the option to up his offer if he wants it that badly. He's just trying to take advantage of you in my opinion!

Beelliesebub · 08/04/2008 09:16

Go and tell him to boil his head!

larry5 · 08/04/2008 09:18

We sold our old house to someone who had made an offer and had a survey done on the house next door but one to us. For various reasons it did not proceed and nine months later (when the other house was still on the market) we put ours up for sale and sold and moved in 12 weeks. We did feel a little guilty but we needed to sell.

You have to think of your future and as you are moving some distance away you would probably not have seen much of your old next door neighbour in any case.

Twiglett · 08/04/2008 09:19

am LOLing at the neighbour's position

I'd be inclined to say to them "Oh we're sorry you're so upset, I tell you what if you would care to make up the difference between the higher offer of Mrs Y and lower one of Mr X then we'll accept your friends ... no? really? Oh well we've done all we can, have a nice life"

Freckle · 08/04/2008 09:43

I have a suspicion that your ex=neighbours were probably instrumental in Mr. X being interested in and making an "offer" on your property in the first place. They probably encouraged him to have a survey done, assuring him that you'd had no other viewings and now they are left with egg on their faces.

I agree that you should ask them to pay the difference between the two offers and then you'll accept Mr. X. If he's so interested, why hasn't he upped his offer?

alicet · 08/04/2008 10:14

pmsl at Twiglett! Agree totally with that too.

YAdefNBU. He hadn't even put in a formal offer - end of! And your neighbours are being completely and utterly selfish and unreasonable. To my mind they are not friends if they behave like this.

If you don't choose Twiglett's suggestion I think that next time they call to tell you how devastated they are, I would be inclined to calmly tell them that your decision is made, that you will not be discussing this matter (which is none of their business) with them again and that if they cannot accept that you would request that they no longer call you.

justabouttohavelunch · 08/04/2008 10:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jingleyjen · 08/04/2008 10:20

sounds like the sooner you move the better..
if they really were good friends as well as neighbours they would want the best for you.

Try not to worry about it... have you found a house to move to?

bambilocket · 08/04/2008 10:28

Maybe Mr X didn't actually want to live nextdoor to the neighbours!

krang · 08/04/2008 11:48

Mr X is an idiot and if you ask me was probably waiting on his offer to see what happened on the markets and was hoping he could get away with an even lower one.

Tough shit, this is the housing market, if you don't move fast you lose. All you can ever do is be polite and upfront about stuff, no point in worrying about whether things are Morally Right or not.

Loshad · 08/04/2008 11:56

I agree with Twiglett, if your neighbour mentions it again ask her for the missing dosh.
Like your name btw - do you ride?

Original poster
horsish · 08/04/2008 13:10

thank you all so much again.

I keep replaying it in my head and thinking "am I missing something?"These were really close friends,never had any issues with them. I just never saw this coming .

Interesting perspective on Mr x and possible inside info from ex neighbours.I would not hold that against them but it all has gone Pete Tong !

Loshad, yes I do ride.
Edam - very succinct!
Jingleyjen, yes and we are happy in our new house.

OP posts:
BecauseImWorthIt · 08/04/2008 13:18

They're not good friends of yours IMO - they are being incredibly selfish and unreasonable.

What is so wrong with Mrs Y, by the way?!

slinkiemalinki · 08/04/2008 13:26

Not only YANBU but you'd have been absolutely barking mad to pursue Mr X for his lousy offer, before he'd made it, when you had a better one on the table!
Perhaps I am hardened by my experiences of the London property market, but I have heard before that "X loved it and will be putting in an offer" and not heard a dicky bird, how were you to know.
If you want a property you move fast and get it - like Mrs Y (ish).
Your friends are being unreasonable. They are asking you to put their preference of counterparty above a significant financial advantage to themselves (even though you don't see them much any more).
They are being unreasonable, not you. In their position I may be disappointed but the highest bidder wins, and I would totally understand that!
Your actions (except maybe telling them everything which was perhaps naive) are beyond reproach IMO.

lucykate · 08/04/2008 13:26

i think your old neighbours/friends are being totally unreasonable here. how many of us, when selling a house, would give the neighbours the chance to vet who buys it?, that is essentially what they are asking for isn't it?, final say in who buys your house when really it's none of their business.

you sell your house to whoever you choose and tbh, most people would do the same and go for the higher offer.

slinkiemalinki · 08/04/2008 13:27

advantage to YOURSELVES. Sorry.

alicet · 08/04/2008 13:34

Yes dish the dirt! I want to know why they dislike Mrs Y so much!!!