It's not the fat, it's how in proportion you are?

[BigPurpleJumper]

I think most people know 'that bigger woman' that is glamorous and beautifully maintained and most people agree they are attractive.
I have noticed that all of the women I know like this are all very much in proportion, even if they are very large.
I find this particularly frustrating as I carry my weight on my stomach and have twiggy legs in comparison to my larger upper half.
Unfortunately even when I loose the weight it comes off my legs/bum and boobs before starting to shift off my stomach so I look really odd even loosing the weight!
Is it possible to look glamorous/attractive/well maintained if your body will never be in proportion or am I doomed to always look slightly odd?

You will never look great as an overweight apple. There are clothes that work better than others but you will always look like Mr Toad.
Source: an overweight apple.

My friend weighs like 3st more than me but looks smaller and fantastic.

Can you try exercises for building muscle in your legs and bum, which would stop them getting too slim before the rest of you? Muscle burns fat so could provide other benefits. I’d stay away from too much cardio if you’re apple shaped.

Yeah hi, you share my body shape.
Ive kind of accepted I can’t be bigger. It’s all on my torso and I get an apron belly before my bmi hits 25.
Some of my friends carry weight and look fab, and more importantly have a narrower waist than me at far far higher bmis.
I come from a wide family of slim people who don’t carry weight well.
My important things are exercise, weights in particular and generally trying to be active. It’s builds some shape to my limbs. My gut health is important. I don’t calorie count but I don’t eat processed foods or much sugar. This helps my middle a lot. That and mentally just accepting this is my body type

I do think it is very hard to look great if you're not in proportion, I too carry my weight on my tummy and boobs, but luckily when I lose weight it does come off my tummy. For me personally once I've found my waist again I can look great, even if my boobs are larger (G cup). I tend to go for fit and flare, skater type dresses for nights out. Shirt dresses are a huge favourite the moment as they usually come with a tie belt which works for me.

Dropping the carbs is particularly effective for the stomach fat. I lost 12” off my waist last year but that was only three stone. Made a huge difference. I also thought I was destined to be apple forever 😭

I think most people know 'that bigger woman' that is glamorous and beautifully maintained and most people agree they are attractive.

They tend to be under 40 though.

As we age, everything tends to start sagging and the extra weight on the face, boobs and stomach completely alters a person's look.

I disagree. Would love to be an overweight apple! All you need to do is cover your top half and flash off some slim legs.

I'm an overweight pear. Worse than that, overweight pear with heavy thick set legs. Even when I was 8 stone I had (and I quote) legs like buttress roots. That is impossible to dress and impossible to look good with ever. I had ribs that stuck out and a head that looked like it was wobbling on top of my neck - but my legs were still huge.

Embrace what you have because I'm constantly looking at slighly tubby apple women sighing thinking how the hell are their legs so slim and toned.

I agree. I have a otally different body shape. Its all on my bum and thighs. I hate it. I guess we will always want the shape we don't have. If I lose weight my boobs(which are tiny anyway) totally dissappear but my bubble butt goes nowhere.

I think I am more frustrated that I have lost around 3st and still don't look right! I am relatively tall (5'10 ish) and most people my height are very well proportioned and I am just ....not.

There's a dress shape out there for every body type imo. Find yours! I wear anything that emphasises the boobs and skims the tummy area - otherwise I look like 'a binbag full of yoghurt", as Stephen Fry once memorably described it.

But it's worth bearing in mind, even those beautifully proportioned fat women you know will look fat naked. If you want to look good dressed, it's reasonably easy to achieve with appropriate undergarments and well-chosen styles; but once the clothes are off, all the polish in the world won't disguise overweight. And I say that as a fully-paid-up member of club fatty.

Hip dips. Mine are massive. My figure goes boobs, waist, big hips, hip dips, more big hips.

So instead of being an hourglass shape and curvy, I'm actually wavy.

Yes, I am that woman. Whatever my size, I'm perfectly balanced as I gain and lose weight pretty evenly so always keep an hourglass shape.

But even more importantly, I know how to dress to make the most of my shape!

I think knowing how to dress is definitely important. The things I used to wear, so unflattering. I think I now wear what mostly suits me.

I am 2st overweight but am an hourglass and have a medium/large frame and chunky limbs so do look in proportion. I gain and lose weight all over.

If you are 5’10’’ I would think you probably look ok as you must have quite long legs

I think I dress reasonably well most of the time (there are definitely days when a hoodie and jeans are the best I can manage!)
Like another poster mentioned I can (hopefully) disguise it with clothing but I know, and everyone else will know it isn't pleasant underneath my clothes!

I would probably talk to a personal trainer and get advice as they may know of some exercises that can improve it
Do your mother / sisters have similar body shapes

I once got told by a colleague that I’ve got really skinny arms and legs for a fat person. She meant it as a compliment but that’s not entirely how I took it.

I don’t think I’ve ever been in proportion at any weight (which has ranged from 9-17st and I’m currently somewhere in the middle!), I’ve always had a mismatched top and bottom size. I think we just have to accept it and do as best we can

Looking great imo is a combination of things. Body shape, hair, skin, facial features, dress sense. Very few of us are playing with a full deck OP, so if we want to look good we do the best we can with what we've got. If you look after your body with care, nutritious diet, the excercise it needs to stay healthy, and emphasise the features you like about you're appearance then you'll look fabulous.

I carry my weight everywhere, from my feet to my fingers. I spread really proportionately. It is the one thing that makes being fat remotely fair for me.

My sister is 5'11 and was regularly scouted by modelling agencies as she was a size 6-8 in her youth!
My mother apparently left hospital in her size 10 jeans after giving birth to me and my sister.
Who says life is fair eh?😞
For some reason I am the dumpling of the family. I also have a medical condition that affects my weight/makes losing weight difficult so that doesn't help!

I do all of the skin/hair/dress well etc, I haven't completely given up!
I just wonder if what I am doing is futile because of my body shape.
I look at the plus sized models on some websites.....they all have a flat stomach and bigger boobs/bums/thighs, if they are supposed to be representative of the plus sized population and even they don't look like me then maybe I am wasting my time bothering trying to look decent?
Believe it or not I was reasonably confident about my looks (even when I was fatter than I am now!) but having recently turned 40 things seem to have hit me like a sledge hammer and I wonder if I'm wasting my time really.

Yeah but those plus size models are all photo shopped too OP!

I put all my weight on my bum, it looks out of proportion big

Spending years of life to try and cover it until I accepted it

Accept how you are and wear what you like, and try to be carefree and have some fun, that's my advice

Well its obviously not futile because you're improving how you look/feel about the things you can control. You can't let perfect be the enemy of good! I take your point that the preferred representation of plus size women is often hour glasses (although love or loathe it there's plenty of apples and pears on the shein website) but models are not the yardstick for most of us. Mainstream models are always much taller, straighter and thinner than typical non plus size women yet we press on trying our best with our own assorted body shapes!