To not want my friend's boyfriend to stay in my house while I'm on hols

[TheDullWitch]

My friend asked if her boyfriend and his son (who I ve never met, don t even know how old he is) can housesit whilst we go away. She doesn t want him staying under her own roof because she has a lot of work to finish. He s a nice bloke, I ve met him a few times, but I feel really weird about this. I'm quite private about my home.

But when I told her I'd rather not let him, she got rather outraged. But I can t imagine ever saying to a friend "do you mind if this near-stranger sleeps in your house whilst you're not there."

Am I being unduly prissy?

nope, your house your rules she shouldn't have put you in an awkward position by asking you

No.

nope. she sounds a Bit of A Loon.

No, entirely up to you who stays in your house. Odd that she is so outraged about it when I think she was rather rude to ask in the first place!

I felt it was quite a "big ask". But she seems to think it s no big deal.

No.

Are the boyfriend and son homeless?

Still, no.

[heartless]

She is being unduly pissy.

Say no!

crazy

He doesn t live in our city. He normally stays with her when he s here, except she has work and doesn't want disturbing.

well he better stay at home then lol

Would you have been OK about letting your friend stay at yours to get the work finished leaving her boyfriend to stay in her own home ?

Absolutely not. Even if she would be happy with near strangers and their unknown child living in her house while she wasn't there, there's no law to say you should feel the same.

The thought would horrify most people I'm sure. You could come back to anything, and that's before you get into the psychology of having someone you don't know with access to your private things.

she is taking the piss. no, YANBU!

Weird request.

No.

NO.

YANBU.

It's your house, you can host whom you like in it.

Lock up the house well.

Fedupwasherwoman > that is what I offered. I said, why didn t she work here during day to get some peace. But then she got shirty...

Nope. YANBU. Stick to your guns.

nowt as queer as folk

Does she think you are casting aspersions perhaps?

(Not that I think YABU, more thinking why she would react as she did)

hey her boyfriend HER problem. She's taking you being on holiday and trying to use it to her advantage. Probably expects to visit him every night and use your electricity/gas etc and sleep in your bed!! Probably doesn't want his son in her house either.

I'm wondering if she sees this as a rejection of her boyfriend by a good friend. But I don t even like it much if, say, my husband s sister stays here in our absence. Maybe I m unusually territorial.

A friend would be ok with you saying no

Not really. We are good friends and help each other out - having kids over, giving lifts, moral support etc. But this came out of blue. I was just wondering if for some people having strangers in whilst you re away is no big deal.

Did you actually even ask her to housesit? Or mention that you might need a housesitter?

If you did, and she responded with 'how about my boyfriend does it?', that would be a bit tacky. Then extra tacky for getting mad about you saying no.

If she just came up with the idea 'hey, you're out, can my bf and his son just use your house?' with absolutely no warning, she's a complete self-centred nutter. And for getting mad about it, she's double nutty with an extra helping of nuts.

In summary, YANBU.