Have accidentally offended friend re his hair

[RosieAway]

So my lighthearted joke via messenger seems to have deeply wounded my guy friend. I’ve since realised (hadn’t at the time), he’s a bit receding of hairline. He hasn’t spoken to me since… I don’t want to apologise because that seems to make things worse as I hadn’t even clocked his hair before I stated analysing what I may have done and would never have joked about that otherwise. Help?!

Lesson learned. What may be light hearted to you can easily offend the target. In future, hold your tongue.

Call him and apologize. Not a text. Theres nothing wrong with owning your mistake of hurting his feelings - whether you intended to or not.

People are far too sensitive nowadays.

If baldy has got the hump over a bit of light hearted banter from a good friend then let him stew.

What did you actually say?

What is your AIBU?

CharlotteMakepeace · Today 17:26

People are far too sensitive nowadays.
**
If baldy has got the hump over a bit of light hearted banter from a good friend then let him stew.”

Good grief.

You sound nice 🤔

I would apologise, and don't start from the assumption it must be accepted, that's not an apology.

Also don't be a dick to people and you can avoid situations like this

Why are you joking about people's hair anyway?

It depends what you said and how you said it? Can you give us a few more details.

Depends whether you like him and are a kind person?

Intentional or not, if I’d have upset a friend I’d apologise.

Wow, thanks to those laying into me calling me a dick without knowing the details. I’m sure none of you have ever non-intentionally offended anyone!

I am a kind person who’d never dream of commenting on anyone’s appearance out of context.

This was a general conversation about him having mid-length hair, which he started. I joked that he could be a good candidate for a mullet. So, hardly the insult of the century.

Then because he didn’t respond to a nice message I sent about his general wellbeing and offering my support re another issue, I began wracking my brain as to what I might have said wrong… maybe nothing! Hence coming here for a sanity check… but mostly received a good kicking when down instead

I don’t get what having a mullet has to do with balding? Sounds to me like he might be upset about something else. Maybe just tell him you’ve noticed he seems upset with you and ask why?

It’s hardly a kicking OP! Maybe you are both too sensitive!

You think you've offended him, so you message him and say hey Dave, you've not replied since Sunday. Have I said something to upset you? Or is it. Something else? Can I help at all?

Oh come on, you've hardly had a good kicking.
It's never a good idea to joke about someone's appearance no matter how well you know them. It's not going to go down well.

So if he hasn't spoken to you since, you don't actually know if the mullet comment is the issue, or if it is, what he found so offensive about your comment?

If it is about the mullet, could he be offended because they are widely considered to be hugely unstylish, uncool, and a bit of a joke of a haircut? So he's offended because he thinks you're implying something else about him rather than mocking his receding hairline?

I think if he knows you to be a kind person who doesn't, as a rule, go out of their way to be personally insulting, then he is over-reacting and being precious.

This is such an odd thread. You are certain you’ve offended him. Then when you share what you said it has nothing to do with a receding hairline. You’re annoyed you got a kicking (you didn’t).

Maybe give your friend some space. I can go days without responding to a message because I’m simply living my life.

A lot of men are sensitive about their receding hairlines/hair loss in my experience, especially when they haven’t ‘accepted’ it yet and gone for the shave. Best to leave that subject alone. But lesson learnt.

A mullet has nothing to do with a receding hairline (does it?)
If he is insulted it's probably not because of his hairline.

Mullets are massively fashionable at the moment!

Mullets are totally back in!

I worded my OP badly… I’m just not sure whether I’ve offended him, seems things went weird after the hair comment and I wasn’t sure if he’d thought I was insinuating something about his hairline (short at front, long at back) or thought I was saying he had a mullet. Which yes, could be offensive but we were joking. I know some men are sensitive about hair loss, that’s why I’ve suddenly been overthinking it. In a “oh no” kind of way… and feel apologising would only draw more attention to that, given it wasn’t on my mind at all and might not be the reason for odd behaviour (has also dropped off or blocked me on SM).
I always assume I am the problem in these things, but maybe something else is going on and I just need to leave him be for a while.

@SwingTheMonkey @Americano75 Oh is that so? I didn't know. I am far from fashionable and I guess this proves it!