Have accidentally offended friend re his hair

[RosieAway]

So my lighthearted joke via messenger seems to have deeply wounded my guy friend. I’ve since realised (hadn’t at the time), he’s a bit receding of hairline. He hasn’t spoken to me since… I don’t want to apologise because that seems to make things worse as I hadn’t even clocked his hair before I stated analysing what I may have done and would never have joked about that otherwise. Help?!

That doesn’t seem likely to have offended and the bloke you’ve clearly got a crush on is
probably just busy. You’re massively overthinking this.

🙄

What about jokes about people's weight - they're alright too yeah?

This is a perfect response

'You think you've offended him, so you message him and say hey Dave, you've not replied since Sunday. Have I said something to upset you? Or is it. Something else? Can I help at all?''

Yeah, see them quite a lot round here, usually teamed with a moustache. My 19 year old's friend has one. 😆

Maybe just fall him and ask if you've done or said something to upset him, and if he opens the door on the hair issue, you can say you were genuinely unaware of it and don't see anything wrong with his hair

Call him*

Hey op, I cant see how what you've said in the context you said it, would cause offense. And if you have people pleasing tendencies (which it sounds like you do have, based on your feelings about this situation) then I presume you are generally quite tuned in to how others perceive you and making a good impression..

A decent friendship is one where you could call him and say 'I might be totally wrong, but I'm worried I've upset you, please let me know if I have as its the last thing I'd want to do'

If you don't feel able to do this, consider why you're so invested in a friendship where you can't be fully yourself.

On his part - its not very nice to ghost someone as punishment for them upsetting you. You know best if this is what has likely happened though. perhaps you are over analysing and he's been busy? People dont respond for a variety of different reasons, unrelated to their feelings about you.

So thank you for the replies. Turns out I was overthinking the whole thing and he’s not annoyed, something else is going on.

I have done a lot of work on not thinking something is something I’ve done etc, but goes to show that work is o going. And yes usually I’d just outright ask but in this case thought I couldn’t.

Good that we’ve all learnt that mullets are back in fashion though!

@RosieAway OMG is it too rude to say you overthinking muppet! I know this because I am one too. Glad it's all good with you and mullet man 😉😋 😂

@LauderSyme ha, no… spot on. Must stop thinking.

@Chocolatepuffery thank you for this excellent advice. Stopped me worrying, they he contacted me right after.

@RosieAway oh I'm glad it's resolved :) I can definitely relate too. I've been sure I've pissed friends off in the past, and when I've asked them they've looked at me as if I'm mad 😁