To feel so devastated by tragedies involving children

[StolenCookie]

I’m feeling really devastated and broken by the recent story of the poor little boy in the news. I burst into tears when I read the headline, and can’t stop imagining his last days, his confusion, how he was found cuddling his dad’s leg. I have tears in my eyes writing this!

Does anyone else struggle in the same way? I was doing some child safeguarding training the other day and the story of Baby P came up and I couldn’t stop myself from reading more about the details and feeling so disturbed that these things happen to babies and children. I even researched where his grave is to see if it would be possible for me to visit it (I’m not going to! It was just an impulse).

I’m a normal, functioning person in real life, I promise! I work with vulnerable children and have a 17 month old boy. I think having my own baby has made this all worse for me but when I read about these dreadful events I find it hard not to fall apart knowing some children are just born to suffer.

I’ve been in therapy for years so sadly that won’t make a difference to me. I would really just like to know if anyone else gets as deeply affected as I do? I feel so so sad.

Yeah, since having kids I find it very difficult to deal with

There was an awful story too about this abused elderly woman in a home, that also was a tough read

YANBU. I feel the same. It’s so harrowing and upsetting I just try not to think about it, or the tears start. It’s very dark to think there are people out there who can do things like that, it leaves me with a real visceral horror.

I’m the same and it’s much worse after having kids. I have cried several times about the one you mention (I purposely tried to avoid reading about what happened but was stung by a MN post a few days ago).

It might lessen as your baby grows up.

YANBU. I can’t read stories like that now and have to actively avoid them. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t moved by things like this but at the same time there’s nothing you can do so not reading the details and trying to avoid them can be kinder to yourself. These things are tragic but sometimes people can kind of spiral into reading detail and upsetting themselves more. I don’t mean we shouldn’t be aware to signs of abuse or neglect because it’s important these things are spotted and reported but once things have happened dwelling on or seeking out more detail isn’t helpful.

Yes. I also struggle with these types of stories. I find I get so emotionally invested. When baby azaylia was dying of cancer, it really affected me. Which is a really silly thing to say, but I couldn’t sleep, crying all the time, checking social media. It was awful. I wish I lived a life where I could live without social media.

that poor little boy. I can’t even begin to imagine.

This.

I feel awful saying that because clearly well, these cases are awful. But I don’t feel as emotional about it all as I did when my own dc were around the same age.

I feel exactly the same I have a one year old and anything bad that happens to children
And babies, Uk or abroad, I think it's happening to him and want to cry and protect all babies. I can't watch the news or children in need now (but I do donate to charities before anyone comes at me for my privilege) xx

Op I honestly could have written your post. My son is 4 and it’s since having him it’s been particularly bad. I imagine it’s quite common.

No. News stories make me angry that people have been able to go under the radar, but I don't get emotionally impacted. I do find I won't watch films about child abuse or abduction though, I can't sit through them or find them entertaining in any way.

I do it to myself. I almost feel like I’m ‘betraying’ these children if I scroll past a headline and don’t read about what happened. Like I’m ignoring their pain for my own wellbeing. I know there’s absolutely nothing I can do for them now and I help NO ONE by crying all day about it but it just breaks my heart.

I ended up being reminded of Arthur Labinjo-Hughes’ tragic story (and stupidly read about it all over again) and knowing he was recorded crying about no one loving him had me convinced 1000% at 1am last night that there can’t be a god (I’m an atheist anyway though!) if such dreadful things happen to innocent children. Like there just can’t be. It’s not possible. And then I think ok, so there’s no real meaning to life and they were born to suffer, for nothing.

Feel like a mad person ranting now!

It's not about you though. It's normal to feel sad about these tragedies but don't make them all about you.

Oh and I had to delete Instagram partly because I kept getting content of the poor children in Gaza injured and crying. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was crying at my desk at work!

I don’t understand what you mean. How am I making it all about me? I’ve only told my partner that I feel this way. I don’t bring it up with anyone else. I’ve posted my feelings on Mumsnet because I’m finding it hard to stop crying the past couple of days and wondered if anyone else felt the same.

I’m the same, OP. Especially since I’ve had kids.

I’m exactly the same. I sobbed at the news the other day. Only nipped away from work for a loo break, saw the news and broke down in tears for a good 15 mins. It’s only since I’ve had my son that I’ve been like this. Before kids I’d always be like “oh that’s terrible” and I really meant it, but since having a child myself it just hits differently. Can’t even watch Children in Need, or TV shows which have tragedies involving children, even if it’s a fictional scenario. DH is the same. There has definitely been times we’ve had to turn the TV off. It scares me sometimes how things like this emotionally affect me. I do try not to look, but it’s hard when it’s something which makes national news and all over the TV.

I’m the same. I think it’s because once you have children it hits home how they are completely innocent and totally at the mercy of the situation they are born into whether that is the horror of Gaza or an abusive home. It’s heartbreaking to think of children starving to death, being injured by bombs or being hurt by people supposed to care for them. You just want to wrap them all up in your arms. I usually can’t read the details of those stories. I read the Arthur story and it haunts me.

No it doesn’t lessen as your babies grow up I’ve found. I also work with children and some of them have less than ideal home lives and that breaks my heart too.

I think it's only right you find it devastating because it is devastating. Maybe it would be cold-hearted and inhumane if we didn't find it so devastating. I don't read the stories. But in a strange way I find that almost a betrayal of the child who had to go through the pain. Also when you have a child, you realise how helpless and innocent they are. And how dependent on others around them.

I actively avoid anything involving children. Not because I don’t care, but because I care an awful lot.
I vividly recall a photo of a little boy in Syria, covered head to toe in dust, sitting in an ambulance in total shock after a bombing. He was the same age as my DS at the time and I cried buckets. I couldn’t sleep for a long time after seeing that awful image.

It’s normal to be saddened when these things happen, and I would be concerned if I didn’t find them saddening. But my view is that it is better not to say so openly, either online or in real life.
It’s an unfortunate reality that too many people try to make these awful events which happen to strangers about themselves, & about their own emotions, as a form of attention seeking or empty virtue signalling. At worst, they can come across as grief vultures, cynically exploiting the tragedies suffered by others for sympathy and ‘likes’.

It’s very sad and so very distressing to think of that poor boy. I also cried about it when I read it when i got home from work. I try and limit what I read.

I’d understand this view if I were saying all of this online under my real name (like on Facebook). I’m deliberately posting this anonymously because I don’t want ‘attention’ or ‘likes’ but just reassurance that I’m not alone in being so deeply affected by these stories. I feel like there’s something a bit wrong with me.

Totally agree OP. The case of Star Hobson still haunts me to this day 😔

I genuinely believe that anyone capable of murdering a child is pure evil.

Even before becoming a parent anything involving a tragic death of a child made sad.

Now I'm a parent even more so it feels like it's a lot more common these last few years or maybe I'm following the news more. Just the last few days we have Had a little boy starve to death and today the sad news 2 young girls being found in a house.