AIBU to be bored of the grind?

[Cowsontheloose]

Hi all.
As above.
I work 16 hours a week, DH works 40. We do ok.
We have DD12.
The grind is getting to me, I work til 1, 4 days a week, the rest of the time is housework and things.
DH gets home at 6 leaving us 4-5 hours of nothing til bedtime. TV etc.
3 days a week DD does activities which require us to be out of the house til 9pm.
Weekends are no better, dancing on one day, then visits to ILs (who are ill and need household things doing) my parents. Then I'm zonked and it's Monday again. Nothing getting done in the house (diy, decorating etc) because DH tired after work and no spare time at the weekend as we do things for ILs.
Something needs to change but I honestly don't know what. Life is just so monotonous, and I'm fed up.

More of a moan really.

I am not sure why your evenings are 4-5 hours of nothing, normally we have a bath/shower (sometimes use hairmask/facemask), cook dinner, yoga videos, watch box sets or a film, for for a walk, read, catch up with a friend on the phone. I’m sure there are loads of other things to do depending on your interests, don’t let life just pass you by

You don't have any hobbies, that's the problem ! You have oodles of free time. Make the most of it and take up a few groups/hobbies

What is stopping your husband doing diy on a weekday evening ? he could also do DIY one weekend day if you are visiting in-laws on the other days.
I have 4 children all with activities and I work PT 3x full days, husband works 40 plus hours. He does diy a few evenings and most weekends at the moment as we are trying to do our house up.
I do all our cooking/ washing, cleaning, errands on my days off, then evening are spent looking after the kids and sorting activities. sounds like you have lots of free time to me.

Can you try working 2 days 9-5, (get dh to do pick up) and do the other things on the other 3 days including some self care. You might just need some time to yourself, exercise etc?

I get it OP. I was struggling up till recently working 16 hrs a week. I have health issues and have ttc (unsuccessfully for a long time ) my job was stressing me out so much and my health worsened . I claimed PIP and now it’s come through I’ve been able to quit. Sometimes life can be really hard.

Absolutely this, I'm afraid.

Try working full time with a chronic illness on top.

Only getting paid 16 hours a week, but it taking up four days would drive me mad. Can you work the hour in fewer days, or perhaps look for something else? A different job, with new challenges, might allow you to pay for a cleaner/someone to do the house jobs that need doing.

Perhaps add in some things you enjoy op at least once a week? A sport for you or something creative? Choir sounds great! You always need to preserve a pocket full of time for yourself.

And with the dance classes, either one evening a week or on Saturdays, my dh and I used to take our dds to their class and then go and have a coffee together. It wasn’t much but it was our treat and a bit of time together when we were free.

Lol this is hilarious OP.

im a single parent. I work full time and then some as my role is very demanding…

The kids have activities 6 days a week which means that we have to wolf dinner down straight after school/work, head out the door immediately and we’re not home until after 9pm every night.

The kids get themselves organised for bed and I log on to the laptop to try to get myself ahead for the next day.

Life admin, laundry, housework, etc takes up my weekends…

my life is a grind and there’s no time to feel for boredom!

It’s not a competition. It really annoys me this kind of attitude. If I say I’m tired at work….oh try having three kids and then say you are tired. If I say I’m stressed….oh try working 7 day weeks and then tell me you are stressed. If I say I’m run down….try working full time and juggling kids then tell me you are run down. The martyr game, so tedious!

The OP is allowed to feel drained and bored with the monotony of life.

Perhaps but as many others have said, working only 16 hours a week with a 12 year old is hardly being bogged down by the grind.

I'm not saying ooohhhh my life is so bad, I'm saying if you think things are bad on 16 hours perhaps to realise how lucky you are.

like pp I think it’s the groundhog feeling of life. I feel like my week resets on Monday and I do what I did last week again. But I read a lot listen to podcasts etc, keeps me chugging along.

Six days a week is a lot. When do your children get a chance to relax?

I used to feel like this, I worked 22 hours a week. With two kids 11/13. I would spend everyday moaning, my life was shit blah blah blah!!
then I got Colon cancer, luckily it was all removed. After three months of chemo. I’ll never ever moan again!!! I’d love to go back to my old carefree life again!!

ChelseeDagger
I hope your kids help, too many hrs
sending love, from an early retired, mid stage Parkinson’s single ,with cat💐

I wish I only had a 16 hours a week 'grind'.

DH gets home at 6 leaving us 4-5 hours of nothing til bedtime. TV etc.

This is such an odd way of looking at it if you don’t mind me saying so op?

It’s four evenings per week when you are not taking your dd to dance classes, in which you could rest, batch cook, see friends, do hobbies, exercise, do small DIY projects or catch up on sleep. In fact you could do all of those things in rotation.

Is your dh the issue here? Are you feeling a bit stifled by him?

Not being funny but you have plenty of time to do things if you are board. I have a dp but we don’t live together, two parents to care for one i admit receives dom care 4 times a day but still housework shopping etc. I’m a single parent. I work approx 50 hours a week and am away for work up to five nights a week on a regular basis. We’ve just decorated my hallway and kitchen, put up shelves and pictures etc. (I also have mental health needs which when strikes is a right pain in the arse)

Seriously you have a DH problem not a ‘not enough hours in the week problem’

I hear you OP. You just need to do more stuff and let some things drop.

I work 4 full days a week.
Have 2 kids with 5 lots of classes to be run to across the week/weekend.

DH works full time and is also a school governor which means some evenings are out.

We also both have elderly parents

Here's how we cope...

1. We have a cleaner on Fridays. This means everyone helps tidy up the day before so she can clean. The house gets progressively more messy throughout the week, but hey ho. I LOVE her. Best money I spend all week!

1. We invite my parents round for dinner at least once a week. They get to chat to us and the kids and we'd be cooking anyway.

1. I am paying someone to decorate. It's getting done VERY slowly. Like one room a year.

4 i go to college on my day off. And I LOVE it. Gets my mind on something else completely. It's great to learn and meet new people.

5 we both go out in the evening with friends whenever we want & the other one stays with the kids. The eldest is nearly old enough to babysit. They're not small forever.

6 once in a while we go out together. We should try to dom it more. We also walk the dog together some mornings and weekends, whatever fits.. it's a chance to chat.

7 we go away as a family with friends a few times a year. Even if it's just a weekend in the uk. This breaks the monotony. The kids can miss their classes occasionally.

I'm exhausted and need to fit in more exercise! I know this will give me more energy eventually!

I hear you OP. But you do have time. Just don't do housework every day! Bung a wash on, get people to help.

That's my take anyway x

Yep, I agree. I have it easier than you in terms of free time but I'm over the grind too! I feel there has to be more to life than this!

Easier than 16hrs a weee?!
Get a hobby? Go to college? Volunteer? Jeeze!

Housework is a grind and I have a 2.5 yo

🤣

I don't get this
'DH gets home at 6 leaving us 4-5 hours of nothing til bedtime. TV etc'. Why does DH not getting home til 6 mean 4/5 hours of nothing? There is so much you could do in that time!

This. No wonder you're bored if you're doing nothing for 4-5 hours every day. Why not do something in those 4-5 hours that brings you joy instead of mindlessly watching crap on tv? Thats all on you I'm afraid. If you are doing the same thing every single night by zoning out with tv and you arent getting anything from it then change what you do. The definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting different results!

You sound like my relative. She only works 16 hours a week with 2 teens, she has too much time to ruminate about her apparently shit and exhausting life!
Most of us work 40 hrs + and do kids activities/housework etc.
I personally don't have time to worry about the 'grind', maybe you should up your working hours and then you could afford a decorator?