AIBU to take another year off work?

[Animallover87]

I'm currently half way through mat leave with my first (and only) baby.

I've been offered the opportunity to take another (unpaid) year from my company. It won't in any way affect my job prospects afterwards and I would slot back into the same job.

My DH is happy for me to do this and can cover all the bills on his salary but there isn't much left to spare afterwards so we'd need to tighten our belts but it's definitely doable.

I would rather look after my baby myself for another year than send him to childcare (no family support)

Would you do it?

I am a teacher too BTW. I do three days but it feels like I don't see my baby for half a week at a time now. By the time Im done working and collect him from nursery he's grumpy and I'm burnt out. All I do is quickly bath and bed him.

Similar. I had 10 years off and went back part time when my youngest of 3 started school - at my children’s school. This was in the 90s though and I realise how much has changed in that time! My first job in the late 70s was to cover a maternity leave and as expected the mother didn’t return and my job became permanent. This was very much the norm in teaching at least then. I do understand how much greater financial pressures are now - though I remember being down to our last pennies when I wasn’t working - but I still think it’s sad that mothers feel they have to go back to work so soon if they don’t want to. As others have said - you never get those early years back.

Sounds good to me

Just a quick question - I'm sure most people are talking about missing out on contributing to the workplace pension but I've seen a couple mention the need to be working as a tutor to keep up the NI contributions in order to cover state pension. If you're on child benefit, dont you get credits til the child is 12 whether you work or not?

Do it if you can afford it and it suits your family. I took 8 years out and despite the horror stories people will tell you on MN this did not damage my career, pension or marriage. I'm 50, great full time career, mortgage paid off, enough pension to retire at 60. If I had my time over I would do exactly the same thing.

Sounds like you have already decided you want to take the extra year off.

If you can afford it and you want to then I don't see why not tbh. I personally couldn't be a SAHP again for a sustained period of time (more than a year) so I'd be looking to go back on a PT basis.

I think you’ve already answered your own question. Don’t feel you need validation from anyone else. It’s really personal and also bay/situation dependant. I was desperate to go back to work after my first and but my second very nearly persuaded me to be a sahm. First was born during 2020 though so maybe not the best comparison.

Doesn't matter about the decisions other mothers around work/parenthood. Do what works for you!

No, it isn't. There are exceptions of course but statistically, it isn't the norm.

It certainly wouldn't happen at my company.

I was wondering this. And the school going to the trouble of finding a temp for a year, seems a bit odd.

I’d do it in a heartbeat. With the caveat I’d need to be confident about the situation with work and have equal access to family finances while I was off.

100% do it. If you're only have one child make the most of it. Will be worth it.

Now you’ve said you’re a teacher as there’s a nationwide shortage you’re in a strong position.

That is what I thought. It gives women a false sense of security when deciding to be a SAHP.

I took an extra 9 months off after my maternity leave with the ability to retain my job and I have no regrets about it, even though that left us on one part time salary and savings.

I would do it in a heartbeat. This time is precious and if you are enjoying being at home and the financial implications are small for your family, it sounds like a no brainer.
That being said, if it were me I would also think about how I might feel once baby is on the move, what if they don’t sleep as well in a few months time… it could be harder work than it is now. In which case perhaps going to work would feel like a break 🤣 also, I’m sure you have considered every possible outcome (apologies if this has been mentioned already in the thread) but what position would you be in if your partner found themselves out of work?
I am able to take an additional month away from my job unpaid and I didn’t consider not doing so. When I return to work we are incredibly fortunate to have family willing to support us with childcare. A few of my friends mentioned the social benefits that come with a baby attending nursery, but I didn’t feel that this would be a problem (for my baby) as she has lots of socialisation through classes and groups that we attend together.
It sounds like you might regret returning to work earlier, more than you would regret taking another year off. Hopefully you will look back fondly on the special early months with your baby. Good luck and congratulations!

I’d do it without a second thought

I think you have already answered your own question. There's no logical reason to not do it. You know that you would like to do it. Your husband is supportive.
Also, if you change your mind there are lots of teaching/tutoring/intervention jobs out there that you could pick up a couple of days a week.
I say do it, enjoy it and don't worry about it. Enjoy the time, it'll go really quickly.

I didn't and wouldn't do this - but I was PT and had family for childcare. Since you don't and are FT - yes it seems ideal. However you need to check the terms of your career break - in my public sector job, you can't work in the UK whilst on one - only study or go travelling etc or of course to do nothing

I would definitely do it! You never get that time back when they’re little.

Do they not miss their dads?

*@pyjamaphile

Not in the same way in my experience but I'm on grandchildren 5 about to start 6 so it's a very small sample.

I imagine it isn't in the same way because mothers are more likely to be the default parent.

Sorry but I think some like to doom monger about getting back after being a sahm. I and literally every professional woman I know who has taken even years out to sahm has gone back stronger after 5-10 year out having been around when the children we young. If you’re a professional with a skill that is needed you can get back in. Jobs are so much more fluid these days. It’s not like you need to stay in one place for 30 years and collect your gold watch.