**TW**To ask someone to help me talk my daughter down from this episode

[ItsDisneyBitch]

I have posted about my daughter before and her voracious reading the news and becoming highly anxious. She is 18 diagnosed with ADD and autism.

today in the daily mail there has been an article on where the best country to be is if there is world war 3, every single news outlet she is poring over is talking about possibility of wars etc.

She had calmed down a little in the past, but is now ramping back up and today I found in her room she is stock piling her meds to take if there is nuclear war.

not just her antidepressants but I’ve noticed she has siphoned off other random pills, paracetamol etc.

can somebody with some knowledge of the current situation please help me explain so it’s not just her mum talking. A reply here would be great. I’m very sorry I’m worried sick about her again and I’m reluctant to take her back to the hospital as no immediate threat to her ‘right now’. But I will call doctor tomorrow.

This must be so difficult for you (and her).

While you can’t confiscate her phone/internet access, can you try and keep her busy and keep her mind on other things to limit her time to go down rabbit holes?

Watching movies, playing board/video games, walking the dog, baking, shopping, seeing friends, seeing family, going to the gym, going swimming, whatever she likes to do.

Hopefully you can get the ball rolling with the GP tomorrow to get her referred to the adult mental health service.

Has she done CBT? She needs to take meds as described. Stop reading or listening to news that’s feeding the fear. Exercise. Distraction. Get outside and spend time in nature. Avoid feeding the fear.

The tabloids are certainly catastrophising at the moment. It’s ridiculous. There is a lot of doom out there and I understand our government are on the point of issuing advice re what to do if biological/ chemical /terrorist attack comes our way. Plenty of people put stuff to one side Incase there is a problem. A few extra tins of food, rice, beans, candles, matches, over the counter meds. My suggestion is to talk to her abouther fears, saying she is not alone in thinking that way, and make a security box together, which contains candles etc and her meds and anything else that makes her feel prepared. Put the box in a high up cupboard somewhere out of the way.

Has she spoken to the Mental Health team at uni? They should be able to provide some support or help her access other services.

Agree with others....1.) Logic does not tend to talk the anxious mind down. 2.) Most importantly...she is stockpiling meds due to 'doomsday/war' and with a clear plan. Get her to A&E/crisis team.

So the meds are not so she has a supply during the war, they are to take all at once? If she is planning her end, even if it’s just hypothetical, I would be taking her for an urgent appointment to reconsider her med levels. Bless you, this must be such a worry. The doomsday clock was basically made up from the start, the time was chosen by the illustrator of the magazine it appeared in (or so I’ve heard)

I have a fraction of understanding for what your daughter is going through & it's terrifying, she'll be feeling absolutely & unspeakably horrific.

Does she have anything that works as an absolute distraction to break the thought process right now? Although I've never been at the level your daughter is at, video games, word puzzles, 1000pc jigsaws & sudoku have always worked for me.

@blondehoj - you’d be better copying and pasting your post into a new thread. You’re unlikely to get advice here as people will be responding to the OP.

OP - I hope you had a restful night and that the GP is helpful today.

My god so sorry, I had this thread open & didn’t realise I posted it into the wrong one. I have reported to have it deleted I can only apologise, never used the website before!

I’d also explain to her that most of what the Daily Mail is absolute trash

Get her to read the BBC or something similar for reliable information

@PickledPurplePickle i agree with this. There’s often a tendency to tell people who are anxious about the news to avoid it altogether. I feel like that just makes them much more vulnerable to catastrophising and sensationalism. Surely knowledge is power? Anyway sorry OP I don’t mean to derail your thread and I hope your daughter is doing a little better

Hang on, she's saying she'll OD in the event of WW3?

Well if nuclear bombs go off she'd be pretty sensible to do so surely?

I'd get her to agree to only do it after a nuclear detonation on UK mainland.

Yes she is saying she will OD in case of a nuclear war.

Well nuclear weapons may not be utilised at all, since the country who first launches one will be guaranteed to be immediately attacked by at least the country attacked, and probably by that countries allies as well!

That's the whole point of MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction).

She'd be really foolish to OD before any are fired, entirely sensible to OD afterwards.

Just tell her that.

BTW I was born in the late 50's and was a child in the 1962 missile crisis. I remember the fear and people were talking of killing their children then themselves so they wouldn't suffer. I totally understand her fear.

But in all these many years it hasn't happened and probably never will.

Try social services, they were really helpful when we were experiencing similar.

Oh Christ today there is some discussion about conscription? I have escalated her behaviour to adult mental health left messages daily. But nothing! Shall I report her to social services?

You could try but I’m not sure they will do much. Has she seen the GP recently?

Nope the GP says a job for mental health. If they speak to me, I’m on her file as being able to speak for her but that’s touch and go.

So frustrating. I’m under the CMHT and high risk and barely ever see anyone so unfortunately it’s oar for the course. I would keep badgering for help like you are. This is what annoys me, people know they/others need help but it is not forthcoming til you hit crisis point., do you have a local crisis team?

She hasn’t seen anyone since turned 18, I keep hitting brick walls. Maybe the only way to deal with this is to take her back to a&e next time she makes a threat

Yes I would definitely do that

I’m autistic. We are very logical people. Appeals to emotion don’t work. She’s seen the headlines and has quite reasonably concluded that war is likely. The only way to convince her it’s not is with logic and evidence. Reacting emotionally and getting upset is the worst thing you can do.

The newspaper headlines about conscription are true. But if you read it carefully it’s a retiring army general who is complaining about cuts to the armed forces, and saying if the government doesn’t increase spending on defence we will end up in a situation where conscription will be necessary. It’s a political statement which is intended to sway public sentiment in the direction of funding the armed forces, and it’s timed to hit the papers shortly before we have a general election later this year. So yes, those things in the headlines were said - but as a political ploy, not as a statement of fact. Autistic people tend to assume that everything is a plain honest fact and may not understand the nuances behind why it was said, unless it’s explained.

The Ministry of Defence has now confirmed that conscription is not on the table. The Doomsday Clock was updated yesterday and it has not changed. This is very reassuring.

There is not going to be a nuclear war because of mutually assured destruction. Anyone who nukes another country will get nuked right back, and they know it. Perhaps looking at some history about the Cold War and things like the Cuban Missile Crisis would help her to see that there has been a nuclear threat for decades, along with sensationalist headlines, and nothing has ever happened.

I understand that you’re upset about her stockpiling pills. You’re seeing it from a very emotional viewpoint. But to her it’s a purely logical approach. In the event of nuclear war she wants to be prepared to avoid suffering. She probably doesn’t understand why you’re so upset, because her logic is irrefutable. Perhaps to a certain extent it’s a feeling that she has to do something because the war situation is beyond her control and that’s distressing.

She might benefit from some mindfulness training. It teaches you to focus on the present moment and not borrow worries from the future. She could be worrying about nothing, and worrying won’t change the future anyway, it’s just adding extra worry. Sometimes this logical approach can be very helpful for autistic people.

Unhelpful.