To be worried about my babies development?

[flappybits]

I've reached out to the health visitor with concerns at 8, 10 and now 12 months. I keep getting told that babies do things at their own pace and to not compare, and I do understand that but I also really do feel like my baby needs support.

I think his social skills are ok, possibly slightly behind? He doesn't have any words yet but he babbles, interacts, has good shared attention, follows where I point, passes me things, takes part in repetitive games like peekaboo etc. He doesn't point or clap. He has waved a couple of times but not consistently.

His motor skills I'm concerned about, he can sit independently but can't get himself into a sitting position from lying down. He can roll but he can't crawl, he can't stand, he doesn't appear to weight bear well at all his legs whether he can't or he isn't trying to, I'm not sure.

So yes, I am comparing to my eldest who by now had been crawling for 4 months, pulling up to stand and cruising around furniture and was two weeks off taking his first steps. My baby is nowhere near that.

AIBU to be worried? Or should I keep pushing for a referral?

I don't think there is necessarily anything wrong. Agree you should push for a referral to get the ball rolling but try not to worry too much. He might just be on the slower end of normal physical development.

OP what are the ASQ scores for each area? 10 for yes, 5 for sometimes, 0 for no. So marks out of 60 for each one.

In my trust physio will not accept referrals unless the child is not weight bearing by 14 months. But, if more than 1 area is in the black we may do a referral to a paediatrician.

As somebody else said, anything in the black should be referred. In practice, this does not happen. Especially with the 9-12 month reviews as it’s so common for gross motor to be in the black. Communication is also quite common and we definitely would not automatically refer but would be doing a holistic assessment and using judgement as often they do need a little time.

Why has your child not had their review with the health visitor?

I'd go gp for weight bearing , take the questionnaire and say you want a physio referral.

Only ever when I'm sorting his meals. Goes back and forth across the kitchen just while I get his food ready. Never more than 5/10 minutes really. Is that significant enough to cause a delay? Or is it ok in that sense?

@Freshstarts24 Communication - 15 (grey zone)
Gross motor - 0 (black zone)
Fine motor - 30 (black zone)
Problem solving - 15 (black zone)
Personal social - 50 (white zone)

It looks bad but you may be looking for what he can’t do rather than subtle signs he can do it. Very often parents score their children lower but when the health visitor or nursery nurse goes through it in person they pick up on things you might now been seeing as you are with him every day and worried. Plus babies and children even by a year will do things for strangers that they won’t do for their parents!

there are so many little simple activities that can improve the scoring, that’s why they often give you activities and advice to do then recheck in 3 months for the grey zone and sometimes the black if their experience makes them think that it is a case of just needing a bit of time rather than an actual problem. Don’t take the ASQ as gospel though, I scored lower on gross motor skills than my 4 year old god daughter!

Ring and ask to speak to the duty HV tomorrow, explain your concerns and ask if he can be seen in clinic or at home by a HV or nursery nurse. Is he not due a 1 year review soon?

Have you got a playpen ? We popped dc in ours with loads of toys which encouraged them to reach over etc and pull up on the sides.
My ds didn't start walking until 15 months. Dd walked very well by 13 months.

Are you sure communication is not in the dark at 15?
He should definitely of had his 1 year review with the HV so give them a call. I think given the scores I would push for a referral, but try not to worry. As others have said, by the time the referral goes through you might have seen big changes.

They shouldn’t be used at all, they make babies lazy, can affect their hips and when they do start walking they often do it incorrectly due to them.

I can’t say if this has contributed but I certainly wouldn’t be using it, especially if you are worried about a delay.

Not according to this but he's very low score I agree

I can’t be sure without checking but I think this is wrong. Is it definitely the 12 month one as you can’t see the age.

just found this online but I can check tomorrow to make sure it’s accurate if you would like

You're right, it wasn't the 12 month one.

So he's actually worse

Communication - 15 (black zone)
Gross motor - 0 (black zone)
Fine motor - 30 (black zone)
Problem solving - 15 (black zone)
Personal social - 50 (white zone)

Bloody wonderful I was only concerned about his motor skills. Now I'm concerned about everything.

Just to add, from what you describe regarding his communication and social skills I wouldn’t be concerned at all, but looking at the overall scores I think you would be within your rights to ask for a referral. Although if I was the HV I’d be 50/50 as to whether I’d follow up in 2 months before doing a referral.

I’m sorry, please try not to worry. Call your HV and ask for a 1 year review appointment and then go from there. There is every chance you’ll see rapid development in the next few months. There is also the chance he might need a bit of extra support and then you’ll see changes. In the meantime look at your local children’s centres and see if there’s groups you can go to that might help.

Trust your instincts OP.

Things you can do to help him : Does he have lots of time on the floor on a blanket just wriggling and rolling about? Along with with a little play with baby with fine motor skill toys and a little song. All very short interactions but regular you don't have to spend long each time.

When he lays on his back do his legs move as you would expect? I would go to the GP and ask for them to check his hips have developed normally. If hips looking normal that's show those ASQ scores you've put on here and be ready to be pretty persistent to keep asking for referrals - call GP call HV and keep calling until you feel the care is right. If you can afford it a private physio or private specialist might speed things up.

Don't worry OP but do trust your instincts and don't be fobbed off.

I don't know if it's relevant as the ASQ mentions prematurity of 3 weeks or more. He was supposedly born at 37 weeks 5 days but he was tiny, 5lbs, absolutely covered in hair and needed help breathing, spent a few days in a high dependency unit and then in special care for a week before coming home. My eldest was also supposedly born at 37 weeks 5 days and came out looking like a normal baby, 7lbs 8, no hair, breathing independently etc. I have had my suspicions that he came out earlier than we all think. He didn't look like a 37 weeker to me. Could that play a part?

When I say he was covered in hair and my eldest had no hair I don't mean their heads, both had hair on their heads but I mean their bodies

It might.

Not sure, it would be unusual for him to be (for example) a full 3 weeks behind the scan dates, could it have been IUGR? I don’t know if that affects future development though, hopefully someone else will know.

It wouldn’t hurt to set up a little play area in the house - spread a nice soft blanket out, put some toys on it to encourage him to move, read stories and sing nursery rhymes while doing the actions. There will be loads of ideas online about how to use play to encourage milestones.

Bloody hell. I'd be going back to that original GP who said he was fine and informing them of how fucking wrong they were. These idiots will never learn from their mistakes if they're never notified of them

Just to say, we don't all hate HVs :) Mine was lovely and a huge reassurance on many occasions. I enjoyed her company and her advice.

She was also quite skittish and overly apologetic in such a way that I could tell she'd had many parents be hostile towards her. I felt very sorry for her for that. I miss her now, years later!

Take your baby to see a children's physiotherapist.

She could give you some games to play to strengthen his legs, encourage him to sit up etc and could give you another informed decision about your baby's gross motor skill development.
Seek a second opinion from a different maternal child health nurse.
Why won't your GP write a referral to the physio?
That was the first thing I thought of.
A mother is usually right.

Newborn covered in hair is called Lanugo and is nothing to worry about. 🙏

All this saying he is fine. I think the OP is mentioning some aspects that should be investigated. My daughter didn´t crawl hardly at all, she went from commando crawling to, when she was 1, standing up holding on to a chair. She did a lot of kicking though, in preparation for the standing phase I guess. The fact that he can´t pull himself up from lying to sitting I would find concerning. My daughter didn´t say mum until she was 2 years old. But when she started the floodgates opened and she was a chatterbox. I would suggest you go to the GP and voice your concerns, unemotionally, as facts and don´t be fobbed off.