Help me unpick why I can't get down to work

[blanketeer]

I work from home, almost exclusively. I'm constantly battling with my productivity.

I've always struggled with this. Through uni and all the jobs I've ever had, even when I was office based.

It's like I just can't work properly.

I've been able to get away with it somehow, but I just know I could be much more successful if I just tried properly.

Why am I like this ? It's so frustrating.

Can anyone relate or does anyone have words of wisdom ?

Also re ENFP and people being surprised that they are often professionally successful and earning a lot of money (often but not always), whilst they often don’t finish tasks, procrastinate etc . It’s cos ENFP have top soft skills In the workplace ie know how to talk to all different types of bosses, always make sure they are visible (without trying), very vocal in meetings, first one to come up with great ideas etc. that just makes it easier to climb the career ladder.

I had really positive experience with 1:1 hypnotherapy with a qualified hypnotherapist. Hypnotherapy has been recognised by the British Medical Association since 1965

@Jennyjojo5 It sounds as if you're quite in the know about Myers Briggs. In which case, do you have a view on why this post resonates so massively with me too? I'm INTJ which is almost 'opposite'. Would love to know your thoughts!

I've found my people. I really struggle with concentration and procrastinating and do anything else other than what I should. Its exhausting. Weirdly, I'm very organised with bills, my home and the kids.

I use Google Bard as a PA. No idea why, but I get 10 times as much stuff done.
Literally search Google Bard, decline all the privacy stuff (tell it not to remember you etc) then type what you need. For eg I need to get ready for this meeting, write this paper etc.

works like a dream for me. Something about the novelty of having someone to talk to and the motivation of a plan works like a charm.

I am the same as you op. I feel guilty about it, annoyed at myself, anxious about being found out -and yet I still don't work properly unless I have a deadline coming up quickly.
I'm going back to work in an office soon as opposed to purely wfh as at least then I will be visibly which will hopefully stop me messing about so much, but I'm also a bit worried that won't work and I'll just get the sack.
What's ENFP? I'm off to Google.

Ah yes. ENFP is also me.
But all of the theory in the world, the eating the frog, the making lists and bullet journals haven't worked for me. I just don't find work that interesting I think (unless briefly there is a crisis to deal with) even though I'm good at my job and I do care about it in the abstract. I just dont want to actually do it. It's actually starting to really depress me as I can't shake being like this and I've got at least another 20 bloody years to work!

What a fantastic article!
I recognise the Panic Monster 😂

@hobbledyhoy I looked briefly last night but too much text made me lose focus. I will sit down and try to read it properly later ! This is what I'm like quite often when I need to read something !

This is exactly me! The whole setting a timer and then taking a break just doesn’t work, I need the pressure of a deadline and then will work solidly for hours. I did think maybe ADHD but actually I think it’s just how I work best. For me, tasks will take as long as I give them - if my deadline is 3 weeks away, it’ll take me the whole 3 weeks. If the deadline is the next day, I’ll get it done within a day, I just fill the time with unnecessary stuff 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t really have any advice, I wish I knew how to combat it!

I'm the same, although mine is since lockdown even though I worked solidly the whole time. I wish I had an answer to sort my head out!

Does anyone find that you find consistency difficult as well ? Sometimes I have a good week where I get a lot done. But I just can't stay consistent.

Same for house hold stuff. I'm better than I was, but it's just not consistently perfect.

Same with diet and exercise.

I used to think that jf I love something then I can focus.

But I get this way with everything eventually.

I’d look at ADHD. I was undiagnosed till middle age & it explained a lot about my performance at work (great at some aspect, terrible at others)
I realised I had fallen into a totally inappropriate career as it was focused on aspects I really struggled with - mundane, lots of paperwork etc l, so trying to switch jobs into something more suited to my strengths/weaknesses
good luck

Yep! Some weeks I’m a model employee, exceed targets etc and others I’m mentally not even working. Ditto exercise to be fair and most other things!

I haven’t RTFT so sorry if someone has suggested this already but please read a book called ‘Focus: Why you can’t pay attention’ by Johann Hari (yes, I know - reading a book when you have a short attention span isn’t easy but this one is worth it)
I deleted pretty much all social media as I was similar to you OP. I started reading again - flying through books and it really made a difference to how much I could focus.
Also - there are some mineral and vitamin deficiencies that can affect brain function if you’re able to get a blood test? Low vit D being a main one!

I’m very much like you and also earn a good salary. I’m smart and have a great memory which I think masks a lot of my procrastination!

This will sound incredibly simple but it’s making a big difference for me this year! I’ve been making daily lists of everything I need to get done so I can’t ignore them because it’s a visual reference each day. I tick off as I go and then start a new list each morning of the things I missed the previous day and any new tasks.

Also, how is your mental health OP? I think ADHD and anxiety have a lot of overlap.

I am very similar to you OP but as quite as extreme but I find it waxes and wanes depending on whether I am stressed, if I am exercising regularly, how much time I am spending on MN vs reading

I have ADHD (inattentive type aka: ADD) and this sounds exactly like me. It’s so frustrating but medication makes a huge difference for me ☺️

Yes this is me, and I'm always learning what helps me.

I'm learning that the pomodoro technique doesn't work for me... because starting is half the battle for me, and if I take a break it won't be 5 minutes. It's actually better for me to "marathon" and then have a longer break.

Other useful things:

• keeping my main to do list out of sight and giving myself a very short to do list for the day, and crucially, numbered in order. Stops all the anxious horsetrading in my brain. Making the first one on the list something easy/fun/nerdish to get me into the swing, past the "getting started" hurdle.

• using phone addiction/mumsnet as a reward. I don't know what to do with a 5 minute pomodoro break but I can tell myself that when "nasty task" is done, I get 30 mins on "phone addiction " guilt free.

Ultimately I realise that if I really want to sort this out, I need a different type of job, one where you are part of a real team with things to do in real time - on the days in my role where I run events, it feels a bit like this. That bit has to happen in that time, you know colleagues a and b will do their bit at the same time, when it's done it's done. Nursing might be similar; working in a restaurant. Performing in a band is like that! I think to myself that next time I change jobs I should find one that's like that, instead of the self-starter style role I have (not with your salary though OP).

Also - sorry to keep posting… sometimes I have to ‘trick’ myself into doing stuff.
So for example - feeling overwhelmed by doing a tax return, I will say to myself “I will just log in and look at it for now”
Once I take the first step of doing that, half an hour later I have usually finished it!

But are we sure it’s even such a problem? If we are considered as performing well in our roles, family life and relationships are all ok - maybe we shouldn’t try and force ourselves to be like others?? I would understand it if you kept getting fired or your relationships kept breaking down… maybe don’t be so hard on yourself?

As per the ADHD criteria and the tests, I’d say most people have it. Who says they find it really easy to get down to work, concentrate and are never distracted?

Meditation is one of the best tools to help you focus.

Sounds like ADHD is worth exploring - it’s not an absence, it’s a difference and the key is finding a niche that suits the way your brain works

I could have written your posts! I hate myself for it and I feel like I'm only getting worse.

I have things I know I NEED to do, yet don't do them, feel bad about it, get told off and the cycle continues.

I remember being a kid and being super focused, loved education and learning and was happy doing work etc, get to yr 7 and it all went downhill- I wish I had an answer 🤦🏻‍♀️

Following as I am exactly the same and also considering adhd