Can I ask if your happy with your life?

[Marniemo]

I’m late twenties with 3 young children I work full time in a corporate role. I’m absolutely miserable. All me and hubby do is work and look forward to the weekend.

I really want to change our life but I don’t know where to start. I’ve thought about leaving UK but it seems so difficult.

curious if anyone else has these feelings or thoughts? I’m so tired of just plodding on.

You are late 20s with 3 kids.
That'll be a Grind at an age when a lot of us would have been partying every night. We had kids in 40s. I had a wild 20s30s.. but
In ten years you'll get life back and have fab young adults around you. You'll still be young. It's tough now but will pass

Not entirely happy and never will be as without my children the majority (narc ex-husband). I do my very best to get on with life but I don't sleep well when they're gone and missing them hurts like hell 😞

i wish i had made more when given different opportunities for relationships, there's one that could of happened which would of charted a whole new course,
at times i do wish i could time travel (if that's even possible and then it puzzles me exactly as to how the timelines would be altered)

overall i have a lovely partner and overall im fairly ok, i just wish i was richer (£250,000) to pursue my hobbies more.

This is me.
We spent so many years on the grind. DH and I both working long hours, DCs in childcare, barely a moment to stop and breathe.
We had a bit of a sudden rush of blood to the head 11 years ago - sold our small house in the SE, and bought a big house Up North.

It's been an absolute revelation. Our lifestyle is completely unrecognisable to what it was.
Tiny mortgage, massive open spaces, and all of us home by 5.30.

I've got family and friends still on the London treadmill, and they enjoy the benefits - so, each to their own. But we've never looked back.

2 kids, we both work more than full time. Both in high stress (but v rewarding) high earning jobs. It’s tough. It’s a massive juggle. I have an aim to pay off the mortgage and then maybe reduce work a bit after that.

I just treasure all the time we do have together and spend as much time as possible with them doing nice things.

And getting a cleaner made a world of difference. Considering a nanny.

I’m happy, but a) I only have one child, and b) I’ve arranged my working life so I have time to spend with him. I usually finish early on M-W so I can do school pick up, then work late on Thursdays, alternate Fridays and some Saturdays (about once a month) to make up my hours. Worth it for me.

I also love travelling, even within the UK, and try to go away a couple of times a year, even if it’s just a weekend in an AirBnB somewhere.

I don’t spend much time on myself or my own hobbies, and our house is a permanent tip, but I’m hoping to improve that as DS gets older and more independent.

And sorry,😬 I’m going to correct you… it’s punctuation not spelling! 😁

When my 4DC were young I was lucky to be a SAHM I really enjoyed this part of my life. It was far less stressful looking back. Now I have 4 teens and in some ways it’s easier but in some harder.

I’m back working full time whilst I love my job at the moment I have a horrible manager and the culture is toxic, I spent 9 weeks off sick with my mental health last year. I am desperately trying to leave. I feel sick and want to cry every day. It’s a horrible feeling.

My health has deteriorated I have a chronic illness and am in the throes of the menopause. It’s so true what they say you take good health for granted.

One of my DC has very severe mental health issues, my heart breaks for them. I want to make it better and I can’t. I wish I could make her a bubble little 10 year old again without a care in the world.

My poor DH is also at threat of redundancy just now so that’s another worry. So overall just now is not a happy time.

@notgood I hope things get easier for you.

Yes, I'm enjoying my life.

I live in rural Japan, good husband, currently pregnant and don't need to work

My life is really interesting and I'm looking forward to a future that's still quite unknown actually!

I'd love to get back into work but due to a million things it's impossible right now - but I'll worry about that when I've finished having my children and they're at school 😊

@Woodstocks Your reply was pretty unpleasant and untrue

I had a 'sliding doors' moment aged about 28. I made the wrong choice & within a few years realised I was on the wrong path. Every turn since then has been wrong. I am so deeply entrenched there is now no other way. So, I make the best of what I have with what I've got. I don't dwell. I believe in the next life I'll get it right & that gives me comfort.

Solicitor help with child arrangements??

Yes, I'm happy. Sahm with 2 dcs, one in primary school and one in pre-school in the mornings. I get my time to myself while they are in school, but I also have plenty of time with them. No career, but good financial security and passive investments, so I'm not precariously dependent on DH's income. Life is still a treadmill, and I do lots of juggling during school holidays and with after-school/weekend activities, but having time to focus on my wellbeing makes a huge difference.

This was my thoughts , 3 kids in your twenties is a lot and a full time job aswell . You've probably never had quality time to yourself .

I think your dream is commonly known as retirement. Full time working and weekend of chores and essentials very rarely leaves time for the nice stuff

I also think it’s possible to have it all. The simple fact of the matter is three kids is exhausting, I’m not sure why folks are recommending cutting her hours, would they suggest that to a man, it’s like we went back a hundred years. Every single person posting knows full well all that happens if she cuts her hours is she does more running around after the kids, cooking and cleaning, and has less disposable income at the end of it.

the issue isn’t she has a career, or she was sold a lie, the issue is she has chosen to have 3 kids in her twenties, and that is going to be exhausting even if she didn’t work.

You really don't though do you.

Does DH do his fair share? Does he have more time to himself that you?

Just a few random thoughts:

Look at what you have, not what you haven't got.

Set realistic goals, work towards them and enjoy the moment you achieve them.

Sometimes it's good to lower expectations eg housework or DC school work or how much you do at the weekend- remember, less is more!

Absolutely cringed at this. Correcting others on their spelling and grammar says more about your intelligence, than theirs.

This helps…. And don’t forget in the Middle Ages people had no electricity - she’s entitled to her feelings not you saying stop being ungrateful

Could you downsize your house?