To expect a private space for private Pilates class?

[pilatespilatespilates]

Hi all, completely prepared to be told I'm BU - not quite sure how this all normally works. I've been doing 1-on-1 pilates classes with an instructor for a few months now. The classes are really expensive, but the privacy is worth it for me as I have body image issues, binge eating disorder and social anxiety. The instructor and I always have the small studio to ourselves and if the privacy wasn't available, to be totally honest my mental health is so bad I wouldn't go.

It's a small business and the owner of the studio has previously said the arrangement is fine, but I have to slot in around the studio schedule. That's fine, I've been really flexible.

However, my original instructor's moved and the new instructor doesn't really "get it". She's said a couple of times things like "you'd be totally fine keeping up in a group class now" "You should book into some group classes over the Christmas break".

She's just let me know there'll be other people in the studio at the same time as our next lesson.

The thought of it is causing me stress. AIBU to expect a private space to exercise in when paying for a private class?

Maybe the arrangement's not working for them anymore and I should find a private provider that teaches from home or something. Or am I throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

OP, would it help to put it in writing to her via email/text?

OP you really don’t have to explain why you don’t want group classes or to share with others having private sessions. Just say you want to continue having exclusive use of the studio and to let you know if that’s not possible. They might ask you to pay more then that’s up to you if that’s doable.

Spell it out to her. You cannot exercise with other people in the space. If that can't be accommodated you'll have to find someone who can provide that. It's not something that can be worked around.

I agree with this and think this is very likely the reason unfortunately

Places like gyms will be the first thing many people will drop if cutting costs so maybe they are struggling and can’t afford for the studio to be used by one person

I know this doesn’t help you but I think you will struggle to find someone to agree to your ask in the current climate unless their is a premium on what they charge

It doesn’t sound like she gets it or wants to do it. Find someone else - as PP says you can zoom with someone till you do.

Lots of Pilates and yoga teachers come to people’s homes - that’s going to be the best solution

Thanks so much everyone for your responses, it's been really helpful to hear. I think I'll just grit my teeth through this week, but look into a new private provider. I would cancel but that would send the social anxiety into overdrive even more (can't bear to let them down by cancelling...which I know is absolutely crazy)

So there will be other people in the studio, so what? They are going to be focused on their own instructor or workouts. I promise you they won't notice or care what you are up to. I have social anxiety so I get it but you have to challenge yourself to do things that make you uncomfortable, you cannot let it rule your life.

@PamelaParis you clearly don’t get it at all. Just because your anxiety is easily managed it doesn’t mean that everyone is the same.

Are you paying a premium? I mean, are you paying more than other people paying for 1-2-1 who share the space with others doing the same?
If you’re willing to pay to cover the full studio cost then you should continue to get the exclusive use, but if you’re paying the same as others who are happy to share the space then you need to accept that it won’t be financially viable forever and find someone who works from home or comes to your home, someone who doesn’t have to pay studio rent for a whole studio hour just for you.

It might depend on what you're paying for. If you haven't paid to hire out the whole studio then that changes things, much like how in the gym you can have a one on one session with a personal trainer, but you haven't hired out the whole gym.

I'd ask if there is any way to get a fully private space. It may cost more since it wouldn’t be available for any other bookings at the same time.

I'm a pilates instructor. With the "big" studios they have a lot of overheads and can't have the studio empty, especially in peak times. So I'd advise you find a smaller studio that suits your needs more. Zoom lessons are not ideal either. I teach in my home studio (equipment) and on zoom but zoom is only for my long term mat clients not equipment. If you are in Hertfordshire PM me and you can try a session with me.

@PamelaParis did you read the op? She seems to have a pretty good idea of what works for her at the moment.

@pilatespilatespilates could you email or text if you will struggle to have the conversation face to face?

They obviously didn’t do a full handover/ she hadn’t understood. But You don’t need to explain anything about your mental health. Just state that you only want private lessons / don’t feel comfortable sharing the space and is this possible? And if they can’t accommodate then look elsewhere. And that youre not working towards group lessons you only want 1-1 in private. It’s not at all unusual. I had a private PT for a while and she mainly went to clients homes many of whom she said wouldn’t have felt comfortable in a public environment.

Communicate plainly.
Spell out that the best thing about the class is the privacy and that you are fine to accommodate a flexible time.
Every time the instructor double books the space, cancel and say that you'd like your money back and to book it privately again ASAP.
If the new instructor can't deliver what you want ask her for references to another instructor who might be able to meet your needs.

Also ask instructor whether she can use screens.
Stand alone movable screens that make private a small space in a large room could be the answer for both of you.

Get through this week, try to keep a positive attitude and it just might not be as bad as you anticipate. I do understand anxiety around body image - I found it enormously helpful going to Germany and seeing quite frankly far, lumpy, plain, etc people completely happy to walk around the spa naked, at that time I would be stressed in a swim suit (with hidden panels ) taking my towel as close to the water as possible, something just clicked, nobody cares apart from you. Body image is really hard to deal with but you can get through it

I think the best way is to send her a message.

Hi Clare, I hope you don’t mind me saying this in a message rather than face to face but my anxiety is peaked just typing this. I did ask Paul to speak with you before you took over the sessions to make you aware of my reasons for needing a private 1-2-1 session, but I’m assuming that from some of the comments that you’ve made recently that this didn’t happen, which is disappointing.
I have chronic body image anxiety and it has been amazing for my fitness to have the private Pilates sessions. Unfortunately, the only way that I can continue with the sessions is if they are totally private.
With this in mind, I would ask that we rearrange our next scheduled session.
Thank you for your understanding. Maybe one day I’ll be able to join in a group class but that’s years down the line from where I am now!

In my experience, most pilates instructors work out of their own home studio, so I think you would probably be better off finding someone else who fits your requirements better. I'm annoyed on your behalf that your needs have been overlooked in this way.

You are not asking anything unreasonable or impossible, but it might take a little time to get everything in place. Good luck!

However, my original instructor's moved and the new instructor doesn't really "get it". She's said a couple of times things like "you'd be totally fine keeping up in a group class now" "You should book into some group classes over the Christmas break".

This sounds a bit like the instructor doesn't want to teach 1:1 any more and is trying to gently steer you towards group sessions instead. I don't think you can insist that nobody else is in the studio at the same time as you although I do understand your reasons for wanting to.

I'm a yoga teacher and the thought of doing a private lesson in front of other people is really odd to me! Plus, people choose to have private lessons for all sorts of reasons - it's not my job to push them towards having group lessons, I've been doing privates with one woman for years because it suits her schedule! I'd try and find someone else if you can x

They´ve already asked OP to book her slots around the regular lessons...

But I agree, OP should look into getting a new studio.

OP: Is there ANYONE else you would feel comfortable sharing a studio / lesson with? If yes: Could you look into booking a private lessons for 2 people?

That would be more profitable for a small studio.

I was wondering whether physical therapy (which you would have to pay for yourself as well) might be an option. This is (at least ime) usually done in separate rooms but with a shared gym space.

There is however a lot that could already be done in the separate rooms or during unpopular hours.
And even if there were other people in the shared gym space: they will also be working with their own physical therapist (so usually much too occupied to even look at others) and everyone there is dealing with health issues. Some are learning to re-walk, others had major operations etc. In other words:

Nobody is expected to function at "peak performance" and everyone is there to work on their own health issues. It is a very different atmosphere than a gym or pilates class. It might work better with your particular anxiety triggers.

I would find an instructor who can come to your home - there are loads around. I would absolutely expect a private space for a 1-2-1, not least because I wouldn’t be able to focus in a shared space.

YANBU. The arrangement and pricing was entered into on the basis of it being a private space regardless of your reasons for needing that (which are totally valid but even if you just wanted a private space, you're entitled to find a service that works). I think pilates is quite different to a personal trainer who you'd expect to train you in a shared gym for example.

If you're anxious about a conversation in person, I'd just get through this week then word a text along the lines of - "Really enjoyed the sessions with you but I'm afraid I do feel I need a private space for the lessons. I totally understand if that no longer works for studio though and happy to find an alternative". Maybe she'd be happy to come to your home if pushing you towards shared classes is down to the studio and if you're happy with the teacher other than this one issue.

As others have said it could be cost related OP. We rent a church hall to run our brownie meetings in and as a long standing use (we have photos of the unit in the 1960s in the hall) and charity group our rent has been increased by £100 a year. It has been increased by more for those who don’t fall into those categories. Speak to your instructor as it may be a similar situation for her but again as others have said it may be worth looking for a different instructor.