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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son being called a bully.

53 replies

GBmum · 17/01/2024 05:06

Hello everyone. I need some advice to see if IABU with regards to my son (4 yes) being called a bully. We are currently visiting family abroad and his been seeing his younger cousin (2 1/2) a lot lately. They get along for the most part, but recently they have been squabbling and pushing each other around. When my son is playing with Lego by himself, his younger cousin comes along and knocks it down multiple times and laughs. The young cousin is constantly being told to stop and it's not nice but he doesn't listen. He has even thrown a Lego at my son's head and left a bump (he throws a lot of things). The young cousin also keeps getting in my son's face. My son tells him to move but he doesn't so my son lands up pushing him out of the way. Because of this, every time he comes near my son, my son screams and pushes him away. My son is told to stop screaming because of this. The young cousin also stands next to my son when he is eating and my son doesn't like it and screams and pushes him away. I understand it isn't nice to push and my son has been told off for it, but, is it right for his grandma to call him a bully when my son is being antagonised in the first place which no one sees. All they see if my son pushing his younger cousin. Am I blowing all this out of proportion for my son being called a bully?

Thank you for taking the time and your responses.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 18/01/2024 07:20

Read your son's behaviour and be ready to remove him to a quiet space.
He needs a play space protected from other children for some of the day. Is there a play pen that you can utilize in your bedroom where he can set up lego and no other child can touch it?.. or maybe shut the door.
Construct play dates with younger cousins mostly outside where they can run away, use up lots of energy and have a positive experience. Go to their garden, a pool, a beach, a forest, a playground, a park, an animal sanctuary. Take balls with you.

Keep your child well fed with healthy food so he is less hangry and not too sugared up.
Always remove your child if he looks like pushing or hurting another child - don't let it happen. Insist that he speaks in a soft voice that doen't hurt your ears too.

AsIseeit · 18/01/2024 08:36

catelynjane · 17/01/2024 06:34

Why are you letting their behaviour get to the point of pushing and screaming?

Someone needs to be there to split them up or really, not have them play so much together in the first place if it always ends in tears.

100% this. It's good that you're aware so now you can do the stepping in part, keep reinforcing to the youngest child that we don't spoil DC's Lego or invade his personal space. To your own child ensure they understand it's a no to screaming and pushing. "No" is your keyword. I would only separate them as a last resort. Good luck!

bombardelli · 18/01/2024 08:41

Sounds like everyone wants you to babysit toddler too.

Could you and partner take out your son during the day and do fun things with him to get him away from toddler?

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