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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I've been accused of hacking my ex husbands phone

43 replies

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 21:56

I've been speaking to a friend over the past few months and we've been speaking sometimes about my ex husband and he's been telling me things he knows about my ex husband as well. Now according to the police he's apparently been hacking my ex husbands phone, although I didn't know this, the first I knew about was when the police interviewed me about it. I didn't realise at the time but it's likely now that the things he told me he knew about my ex were obtained through phone hacking but I didn't know this at the time obviously. The police are now treating me as a suspect as well, they either think I knew the information that he was telling about my ex was obtained through phone hacking or that I was also hacking the phone of my ex as well. I think the police I was telling my friend to hack his phone but I wasn't. I genuinely knew nothing about any phone hacking until the police interviewed me about it. AIBU to think it's ridiculous that I'm being treated as a suspect just because my friend was apparently hacking my ex husbands phone? It's all just so stressful but I've genuinely done nothing wrong and didn't know about any phone hacking until the police interviewed me about it, my current DH is going mad at me and is threatening to leave me over this even though I haven't done anything.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/01/2024 22:01

Have you got a good lawyer? Why would anyone hack your ex’s phone?

Kittenkitty · 15/01/2024 22:03

That’s a very extreme thing for a friend to just take it upon themselves to do. I’m not surprised the police are speaking to you. But if you’re innocent I can’t imagine they’ll find any evidence you’re involved.

SuperDopper · 15/01/2024 22:03

Why was your friend hacking his phone? Are they friends too?

Did you never wonder how they knew the stuff they said?

Nicknacky · 15/01/2024 22:05

If you are remarried why are you even caring enough to speak to a friend to this level of detail?

I think there is a lot missing here…..

dlago · 15/01/2024 22:06

Is there any evidence that you asked your friend to do this? Have they claimed you did?

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:07

AnneLovesGilbert · 15/01/2024 22:01

Have you got a good lawyer? Why would anyone hack your ex’s phone?

I had a duty solicitor at the police station and honestly I don't know why anyone would.

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Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:08

SuperDopper · 15/01/2024 22:03

Why was your friend hacking his phone? Are they friends too?

Did you never wonder how they knew the stuff they said?

To be honest it didn't cross my mind at the time how he knew the things he did. The police asked me in my interview too if I ever asked him how he knew the things he did.

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ToffeeCrumble · 15/01/2024 22:08

I can see why the police think you asked your friend to hack his phone if you are getting information about your ex from the guy. Maybe your ex suspects it's you trying to get the information and has told the police that.

HalloweenIsDone · 15/01/2024 22:09

How was this supposed to have been done?

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:13

ToffeeCrumble · 15/01/2024 22:08

I can see why the police think you asked your friend to hack his phone if you are getting information about your ex from the guy. Maybe your ex suspects it's you trying to get the information and has told the police that.

The police were implying that my friend had suggested I told him to do it but i didn't.

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MassageForLife · 15/01/2024 22:19

Sorry, but I think you abu to think it's ridiculous that the police are treating you like a suspect. From what you've said, your friend may have implicated you. Also, it logically makes more sense that you would be interested in what he's up to than your friend.

The police would be remiss not to be investigating you as part of this imo. Hopefully the truth will out.

Assuming this is all genuine of course.

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:19

I don't understand what they've spoke to me though when there is obviously no evidence that I was involved with any hacking. There's obviously not any evidence that I was involved with any hacking because I knew nothing about it.

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Noseybookworm · 15/01/2024 22:20

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 21:56

I've been speaking to a friend over the past few months and we've been speaking sometimes about my ex husband and he's been telling me things he knows about my ex husband as well. Now according to the police he's apparently been hacking my ex husbands phone, although I didn't know this, the first I knew about was when the police interviewed me about it. I didn't realise at the time but it's likely now that the things he told me he knew about my ex were obtained through phone hacking but I didn't know this at the time obviously. The police are now treating me as a suspect as well, they either think I knew the information that he was telling about my ex was obtained through phone hacking or that I was also hacking the phone of my ex as well. I think the police I was telling my friend to hack his phone but I wasn't. I genuinely knew nothing about any phone hacking until the police interviewed me about it. AIBU to think it's ridiculous that I'm being treated as a suspect just because my friend was apparently hacking my ex husbands phone? It's all just so stressful but I've genuinely done nothing wrong and didn't know about any phone hacking until the police interviewed me about it, my current DH is going mad at me and is threatening to leave me over this even though I haven't done anything.

Why was your friend so interested in your ex-husband? Where did you think he was getting his information about your ex-h from? Do you think he was trying to ingratiate himself with you by finding out stuff about your ex? I don't think it's unreasonable for the police to investigate you and try to work out if you were involved or not.

Nicknacky · 15/01/2024 22:21

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:19

I don't understand what they've spoke to me though when there is obviously no evidence that I was involved with any hacking. There's obviously not any evidence that I was involved with any hacking because I knew nothing about it.

They won’t have “implied” anything during interview. They will have asked you direct questions and you would have been in no doubt why they were interviewing you about it.

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:22

Nicknacky · 15/01/2024 22:21

They won’t have “implied” anything during interview. They will have asked you direct questions and you would have been in no doubt why they were interviewing you about it.

The questions they were asking gave me the impression that they thought I had told my friend to do it.

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Nicknacky · 15/01/2024 22:23

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:22

The questions they were asking gave me the impression that they thought I had told my friend to do it.

Again, it will have been clear why they were asking you. They won’t have been coy about it

MassageForLife · 15/01/2024 22:24

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:19

I don't understand what they've spoke to me though when there is obviously no evidence that I was involved with any hacking. There's obviously not any evidence that I was involved with any hacking because I knew nothing about it.

What kind of evidence did you think would exist of your involvement, if your involvement was to ask someone in person to commit a crime on your behalf?

GrazingSheep · 15/01/2024 22:24

my current DH is going mad at me and is threatening to leave me over this even though I haven't done anything.

I’m not surprised your current dh is going mad. Why have you been speaking to this friend for months? And what’s his involvement with your ex?

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:24

Where my friend was getting his information from didn't cross my mind at the time and I didn't think to ask him. The police asked me in the interview if I had ever asked him where he got his information from. They also asked me if I had ever asked him to hack my ex husbands phone.

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BlondeFool · 15/01/2024 22:25

Seriously weird

Anisette · 15/01/2024 22:27

It does sound rather as if you couldn't let go of the relationship, otherwise why spend so much time discussing your ex with your friend?

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:34

I don't understand why DH is threatening to leave me over this when I didn't hack my ex husbands phone.

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GrazingSheep · 15/01/2024 22:35

Did he know that you were talking to this other man for months?

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:37

GrazingSheep · 15/01/2024 22:35

Did he know that you were talking to this other man for months?

He knew that I was speaking to some of my friends about my ex but not specifically who I was speaking to.

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Nicknacky · 15/01/2024 22:38

Flyingthroughtheforest · 15/01/2024 22:37

He knew that I was speaking to some of my friends about my ex but not specifically who I was speaking to.

Why were you still talking about him so long after?