RSVP to a party and then saying their not coming as got an invite to another one?

[Thereisnoname]

I sent invites out for my daughters party 2 months in advance ( have to give venue numbers when booking and have to book 6 weeks in advance)
They replied saying they could come. Now they have had an invite to another party on same day and time so have told me they are now not coming, with 2 weeks notice.
Am I right in feeling annoyed about this and it is rude behaviour and kid should have just come to the first party they accepted?

YANBU rude behaviour should just go to first party.
YABU its fine and they can change their mind.

Depends on who the other party is for. If it's family it's fair enough and 2 weeks notice is reasonable. If it's someone else in the class, it's not on.

They should go to the first one they accept however it could be close family party or for a kid who is lucky to make it to that birthday. So I'd cut them some slack

I think it’s unfortunate but these things happen.

YABU. That's astonishingly rude. Could you invite someone else? There's probably a kid in your DD's class who never gets an invite.

Unfortunately that is far more likely to happen with invitations sent out two months in advance. I wouldn’t accept another invitation if I’d already accepted yours, but two months is a long time — it’s not impossible I would need to be visiting vulnerable parents at a distance and take my child with me, or other unforeseen stuff that might mean he couldn’t attend.

This is rude. My son was invited to a family friends party recently, just a little party in the house. We accepted and then he got invited to a school friends party on the same day which was in a trampoline place with laser tag etc so much more exciting. I had to politely say we couldn't come due to a prior commitment-teaching my son that you don't just drop people if you get a better offer! So yes I think they were rude and inconsiderate x

YANBU, that’s very rude.

Please never invite them again.

Given it's rude without good reason I would assume they had good reason.

I accept that circumstances change, emergencies occur which may mean they can't come.
But this is due to another party invite (not close family)

Have they told you it is because they have another party?
Or are you presuming based on another party you have heard about?

YANBU

This.

If it’s for someone my child rarely gets to see and wants to then yes, I would cancel, apologise, and send a gift and card to the party missed.

Now that I’ve seen OP’s updated post, it is rude, but better they said something in advance than not showing up at all.

Surely the child themselves should just decide which party they prefer to go to? It's not up to the adults to decide and the kids won't know when the invites came? I think telling you 2 weeks in advance is fair enough no issue at all

It is really rude.

You honour the first invitation you accepted. It takes time and money to plan a kids party. People that do this or fail to show up at all on the day are people that I don't bother with.

I hope your DC has a lovely party x

Yes, it’s rude to dump one party invite for a presumably better one (to them).

However, trying to look on the bright side - at least they didn’t just not turn up so you have two weeks to invite someone else who hopefully has parents with manners.

Very, very bad manners!

This happened to us once, two parties on one day.

I made DD go to the first party she’d been asked to, for the etiquette described above (rude to take a ‘better’ offer after already accepting an invitation) However, Birthday Girl Two, who was a Queen Bee type, went in a huff, and got everyone at her party to fall out with DD for picking the other classmate’s party🙄

So yes it is undeniably rude to you but maybe you’re seen as the ‘reasonable’ parent or your DC as the nicer child.

It is annoying but if other party is their priority I would prefer 2 weeks notice to faking an emergency/illness on the day. Most venues don't need final numbers til much nearer the time so i expect they don't think you will have any expense due to them cancelling.

Even if the child has committed to the first party invite?
No way. If you accept an invite you commit to it not change your mind if there is a better offer - what are we teaching our kids?!

Really rude. You should go to the one you accepted, even if you prefer the 2nd invitation. What awful manners to teach their children - it's OK to drop people if 'something better' comes along. Nope. Nothing to do with venue or cost, just a thoughtless, flaky way to treat people.

I had a different issue last year. I had 10 RSVPs for my daughters party. On the morning of her party, 3 of them dropped out all because they had ballet or football lessons. I was angry because they would’ve known this in advance and I could’ve offered those places to others. 3 extra meals and goodie bags prepared for no reason. People can be very inconsiderate with this type of thing. I will never agree to attend a party unless I known for certain we can make it (illness of course being an exception).

You are unreasonable in organising such an over-the-top party for a child.
Whatever happened to the 2 hour, afternoon, birthday party held at your house?

@chopinwaltz26 given the OP has not said what the 'over the top' party arrangements are I feel your comment is very unfair. It could simply be a birthday tea somewhere with some games.

It is a life lesson that once you have accepted an invitation that you do not then go for a 'better offer', Its selfish, rude and very bad form. Best to learn that from childhood so that you don't become a twatty adult.

That’s fine if you have a summer birthday and a garden. Not fine if you live in a small flat, or in winter. I had a little Halloween party for DS last year, three other boys came, lasted two hours. It was bedlam in a 3x3.5m living room. You definitely couldn’t have any more over.

Soft play is a totally normal place to have a birthday party - every party I have been to over the past 4 years has been in either soft play or a sports hall. Nobody in their right minds would do one at home.

Yawn. You know times change? What a boring world when everyone does the same thing.

Less room for this sort of rudeness if you send out invites nearer the time of the party.