To think this is selfish?

[Deafdonkey]

I appreciate this sounds petty but it is just something in a long line of things.

Adult son bought chips from the chip shop as he was coming home from the pub. He ate about 2/3rds and then asked if we (his parents wanted to finish them)

Said yes and I took one and then offered bag to husband, he proceeded to eat them all, I kept saying please let me have one but he refused and said I wouldn't like them.

I got cross and now he says iabu to be cross. I think it is proof of how selfish he is, he wouldn't even share something that wasn't his in the first place.

I thought as I read that you were going to say that he mindlessly finished the lot without offering back - which yes, would be selfish.

But refusing to let you have them? That’s not “selfish” that’s “nasty piece of shit”.

thats omg behaviour

Very greedy and selfish, I'd have been fuming

Thank you. I feel completely gaslit and kept doubting myself. It sounds so stupid and I sound so pathetic.

If he ate them all without thinking and then went “oops” I’d be mildly annoyed. But he’s purposely refused to give you any while shovelling them all into his own mouth. It’s absolutely shocking behaviour and I bet it’s not the first time, he probably does this sort of thing regularly.

Greedy and selfish

Eh? What a twat!

Totally out of order of him, that’s not the actions of a loving husband. But I don’t understand how that was him gaslighting you?

Why are you still married to this arsehole?

Wanker.

He is a greedy pig and a nasty one too.

He's a twat.

this happened to me

I went to a friend’s wedding recently where there was an extra dessert left at our table. We agreed to pass it around to let everyone try a bit, as it was different to the dessert we were actually served. One of the bride’s friends refused to let me try it - she ate the whole thing when it was passed to her. She knew I wanted to try it as the person next to her tried to pass it to me, but the cake snatcher was just ignoring us whilst loudly proclaiming how good it was and said I’m not having any. It was like she was making a point?

I know it’s not a big deal, but something about it felt icky and controlling - like she was putting me in my place almost. Reading your post just gave me flashbacks of that. Some people just have a weird relationship with food I think.

If I had MN before we married I would not have married him.

That is why divorce exists

@Deafdonkey it’s not too late to be unmarried…

The only thing keeping you there is you.

Thats nuts! How terribly selfish. I can’t imagine that happening in my house. Absolutely rubbish behaviour!

Actually, sorry to comment again but, dh & I would both give the other the best bit of whatever we’re having. Be it steak, the nicest portion of the take-away or a fried egg!
This is so far from ok. I know that it’s just chips but it must be hurtful. In fact, I doubt it is just the chips xx

Not very gentlemanly behaviour. I know you think this sounds petty but when you encounter things like this all day long from your partner it works to devalue you. Know your worth. You need to be having a conversation with him to let him know how he is making you feel. If he doesn't care then you have some thinking to do.

I doubt it is just the chips
i agree

' I kept saying please let me have one '

This is not how a grown adult behaves with another grown adult.

' he refused and said I wouldn't like them. '

This is not how a grown adult treats another grown adult !

Did you spit the one and only chip you did get out ?
Did you have to drink gallons of milk coz they were spicy chips ?

No ?

Then who is he to say you won't like them ?!!!

Everything about the way this man is treating you will be awful for your mental health and well-being. Please find the strength to leave him.

I kept saying please let me have one
Honestly this sounds like begging, and it makes me a bit sick in my mouth to think you just pathetically begged him instead of snatching them off the greedy twat.

Wow, that's just plain and simple nasty.

My DH would happily share them with me, and he'd even say "here, have some more, I don't want that many" even if he really wanted the whole bag. He'd give me his last breath if he thought it'd make me happy.

If he sat there hogging the lot, refusing me more than one and using "you won't like them" as a way of keeping me from having any more I'd be getting massive 'ick' and couldn't look at him with any respect.

It's not about chips. It's about that sheer nastiness of it. It's so unattractive and yuck in a person. Especially a person you've married, had children and shared a life with.

Eurgh