How did you know you had met 'the one'?

[downhifh]

I'm 31 year old single mum and three months ago I met a man at my cousins wedding. It has been going really well and although it's early days, I can't quite believe I'm in this situation.

Everything is going great, but not too great where I feel he is love bombing me. Everything is just nice and steady. I am quite an anxious person and some relationships have made me quite unwell due to the constant hot and cold behaviour, inconsistency, overthinking etc. and although I had that when we first started dating, I now feel very secure. He has never cancelled a meet up or a date. I know he will always be in touch. I love his company and chat. Good sex. I don't feel so intense like I have in previous relationships wherein I am constantly thinking about him and believe I've met my 'soulmate'. It's all very comfortable and slow and steady, there is no pressure.

He has seen some behaviour in me (due to my anxiety) that hasn't been ideal yet seems to reassure me and accept this. He is there for me and I feel I'm there for him. I've seen him do some things that make have put me off previous partners but I feel I accept him for who he is. When we are together it is very comfortable, we can happily be in silence (but mostly we are chatting).

I don't feel head over heels crazy for him like I have previously, it's more than that. For once in my life I feel really really stable and secure. I've been single for 7 years, so I know I don't need a man. He's the first man I've been with that I feel allows me to get on with other aspects of my life without him constantly being at the back of my mind distracting me. I don't have to check his last active/online as I know he will be in touch, I don't need to worry about him ghosting me as I believe he would be straight forward and say.

He is reliable and so dependable. He reassures me if I need it (I try and keep this to a minimum) and he is opening up to me which is something he struggles with. He also asks questions about me!! Which I have struggled to find.

Basically, this one feels different to me. In a way I can't really explain. I'm not being swept off my feet but I feel secure. So I'm wondering how others felt when they met their guy?

We both want children, a family life etc. so overall goals the Same

Just clicked instantly. we finish each others sentences, we have the same thoughts at the same time, we laugh and joke until 5am sometimes and conversation just flows. He’s an amazing step dad, and an amazing daddy to our baby. We told each other we loved each other after 9 days. I just knew in my soul he was the same as me. He was my forever. Like I’d always known him? Like we had been together in a previous life?

You don’t need to think about it. It’s as simple as that.

As soon as I met him I knew we would get married, been together 36 years

I've had that thought, like as soon as I seen him at the wedding, I knew instantly that he would be a big part of my life one way or the other.

I didn’t know. Just enjoy the journey and forget the destination.

When my mum collapsed on the toilet he picked her up and helped me get her back into bed and then stayed with us in A and E for 16 hours

I just did. We've been together 20 years this week. The first time we hung out we stayed up all night talking, we just 'got' each other. I knew it was different straight away.

I saw him across the room and knew he was the one. The following week he asked me if I liked Bach and that was that. Been together a very long time.

How do you decide? I thought I had, but he cheated on me 8 years later.

I'm sorry that happened to you. I guess no one can really be sure. It's nice to pretend though.

I have been with my husband since I was 18, I am 36 in a few months. We have never had a romantic, Instagram worthy relationship - but I would describe our relationship like you have - stable, secure, and I have never once doubted him or felt like I couldn't trust him from a relationship POV. (Of course I doubt his ability to turn the dishwasher on at night when I specifically ask him 😆 ) but from a relationship POV, he's as solid as a rock.

We married after more than 10 years, and now have 2 gorgeous boys together. He drives me insane at times and want to punch his lights out 🤣 but I can't imagine growing old without him.

My old boy cat Sparky was like my best friend growing up. He was amazing and hated everyone except me. He was terrified of strangers and would hide straight away.

I brought dh in to meet my parents for the first time and he sat on the sofa. Sparky came and climbed on dh’s lap and curled up asleep. Dh and I always look back on that and say that’s how we knew we were meant to be. Sparky loved him.

It was just easy. No big drama, no star crossed lovers, just easy and relaxed and comfortable. We've been together 21 years now and it's been really lovely. I don't know what or why, but it works. Good luck - I hope it works out for you both.

A complete sense of belonging, I almost felt like I'd known him and his family forever. Not in a 'Oh I'm so comfortable, I feel like I've known you for years' kind of way, but a literal 'we already know each other' way. Even though we definitely didn't and lived in different towns. I felt it from the moment I saw him.
He never played games, was sweet and kind and was an open book.
We've been happily married for 25 years.

From our first date, I just knew we were very compatible and I fell in love with him. I’m 52 and it was the first date I’d had since my exH ended our marriage a couple of years before. I had healed from that broken heart but couldn’t have dreamt that I’d meet someone so lovely.

Thought I had. Then he dumped me.

@Cindy1802 Almost exactly the same here. Met at 19, been together over half our lives now. On our first date we discussed where we wanted to live when we got married and how many kids we would have. It just seemed obvious that these things would happen with us.

It hasn’t always been easy actually, we’ve had ups and downs growing up together, we’ve both changed since then, but he is still the one for me and we’ve always both wanted to make it
work when times have got hard.

Same. Same length of time, too

I wasn’t scared to plan for the future anymore, because I could only see it with them in it.
And like others, this sense of knowing them already - of having been together forever, such a calm and peaceful kind of love.

What you are describing is how I felt when I first met my dh- I was divorced and 38. No butterflies or being swept off my feet but safe, intelligent, charismatic, pleasant looking.. a cut above the rest.

Sounds like you've met the one.. 20 years later I know I have too.

We just clicked, we laughed loads (and still do), we had the same goals, I just adored him from day 1 and he says he felt the same about me. I had terrible PND and anxiety and he was just always there - I know he struggled with my ill health but he tried everyday to help and make a difference. He has always made me feel safe, secure and very loved and I make him feel loved and supported (his words). After 22 years I love him more each day and have never looked at anyone else in all this time ❤️

I met him socially through a shared interest but didn’t really know he was the one until we started dating. Been married 34 years this year,

It’s just easy, not really an effort it’s just natural.
and yes to feeling secure

I didn't know. For the longest time I kept thinking "It's not going to last but I'm enjoying it right now so I'll keep seeing him." Three years later "OK, maybe it is going to last." Together 14 years and counting.

No fireworks, didn't sweep me off my feet, but was a good man and always puts me first, as I do him.

Within 5 minutes of meeting my OH I thought I'm going to marry him. We've been together about 12 years, 2 kids and getting married this year. Totally different to my first love which was very intense and volatile. This is strong and steady, we have our ups and downs but we are very solid. I look forward to spending the rest of our lives together