Watching friends child while she’s in labour

[Chesie]

First time posting and going to use this board as it seems to be the most used.

My friend is 32 weeks pregnant with her second child, her older child is almost 2. I live super close to the hospital she is planning to give birth in (it’s a private hospital so I think if there are any issues or emergency’s it may end up being elsewhere), and has asked if I can look after her older child while she’s in labour; I’m more than happy to!
Now I’m a chronic over thinker and this friend means a lot to me so I want to make sure I’m being as helpful as possible.
So far we have upped the amount of time I spend with her older child; I see my friend every week but her little one goes to nursery some mornings so we’ve made sure we see each other more when she is home. Sometimes this has been me going to hers, sometimes her coming to mine. She’s dropped off an essentials bag of things her child might need while here, some pyjamas and clothes, nappies. I said I’d sort snacks and food, but she’s going to bring some frozen meals that she knows her daughter loves over too.
She has got me registered at her daughter’s nursery as someone who can pick her up and I’ve familiarised myself with where the nursery is.
I’m going to buy a bed guard as my beds are all quite high off the ground; and hopefully it will be useful for future sleepovers too!!
Ive kept my calendar effectively empty or easy to cancel for the 3 weeks before her due date, work are aware I might need to disappear quickly but it’s 15 minutes from work to home and 25 minutes in the best traffic from friends to hospital so I think that should be ok.
Now I’m just not sure if there is anything else I could do, I want my friend to know I’m here to do anything she needs. I really don’t want her to be stressed about her older baby while having her next!!
I was thinking of maybe offering for her husband to come here and nap if he needs it; but have said I’ll watch their daughter for as along as they need.
I’m feeling a little apprehensive as I’d hate to cause them any stress.
So I guess to make this work for the board; Am I being unreasonable to ask if there is anything else I should be doing to make things easier? Hoping some mums will be able to tell me what would have helped them since I’m clueless!!

No advice but your friend is lucky to have you.

You my dear are an absolute rock star. 💖

Awww you sound lovely! Honestly sounds like you’ve gone above and beyond! Don’t stress! Maybe ask your friend to share some toys/ crayons/books to help you entertain the toddler and be prepared for a large glass of wine when you finally get to hand them back!

You are a wonderful friend ❤️

You are a truly wonderful friend!

Do you have, or will you need a car seat/buggy etc.
Make sure that the little one has whatever the loved sleeping item is (some kids have a blankie or a teddy that is absolutely necessary for sleeping)
Might you need a waterproof pad on the bed for junior, just in case of leaks.

Whenever I spend time with a small child, I always want to know what is the item that they must have to be happy. How do they go to sleep, stories, songs, white noise, company? Which food/snack is always a winner.

You could just put the mattress on the floor.

You sound absolutely amazing. Really refreshing to read such a lovely thoughtful post . Cannot think of anything else to advise you . You are brilliant 🤩

@Chesie You sound like a really lovely friend 😊 sounds like you’ve got everything under control to be honest!
The only things I’d maybe check/consider if you were worried -

• will you need a car seat? Do you know how to work it?
• do you need a buggy/pushchair?
• make sure a couple of toys and books come to yours along with the child.
• is your house toddler-proof? I’m mainly thinking of stairs etc if child will be able to get out of bed itself 😊
• Do they have a specific night time routine?
• Is it worth having a key for your friends house incase you need to pick anything else up for the child that has maybe been missed without having to get dad away from hospital etc?

Your friend is really lucky to have you 😊 hope all goes well!

I was going to suggest this too. One of my DC actually managed to fall out of a bed with a bed guard on. If the beds a normal sort of height a small 2 year old might have trouble getting in and out. If you might be picking up from nursery you could need a car seat. You sound like a really lovely supportive friend. I wouldn't worry on this, you're removing a whole heap of stress not causing it. Knowing my DC was with a friend she knew who cared for her would be the most important bir.

So nice to read a post and smile so much. You are so wonderful and have went above and beyond.
My friend did that too, when I was giving birth to my 3rd baby. She came and took my older kids. She kept them 1 extra day after I got home. I was able to rest more, i really appreciated that. It was the best gift she has ever given me. Your friend is very lucky too.

Firstly you are an awesome friend.

I have a DD about the same age.
Things you.might want to think about.

Sleep: get the exact routine in writing from your friend including wind down lighting in room etc. and ideally some of the bedding - eg sleep suit, My DD has a comforter blanket and has a dummy for bed only.
We read Spot the dog flaps before bed.
How to handle night wakes (milk or water only, any tips)

Little home activities- I'd get a couple of new cheap things/activities like play Doh, a sticker book etc. Just increase you are in a pinch for something fun to do. If not needed it's a little present. You can get that somewhere like The works for a fiver.
Also get friend to pack some small faves (for my DD this would be stacking cups, perspex coloured paddles you look through 🤷‍♀️ and a wooden bus - beep beeeeep! 😅)

Clothing: ensure there are spares and warm outdoor stuff inc hat. (See below)

Outdoor activities: most toddlers need to have a run about. Identify nearest playground and make sure there's a bit for smaller kids - there usually is like 90% of the time.

TV - if case you need it....what are fave cartoons (it's generally bluey hey duggee or similar)

Snacks & water cup - cannot have enough of these. Bring a selection and water whenever you go out. I also offer if hungry between meals or if she is a bit crabby
Get friend to pack or have a sippy cup in advance
in our house Cheerios, fruit and oat bars, baby crisps, the classic Na-na, berries and other fruits are all BIG hits.

Expectations: expect the emotion rainbow and know it's not personal and not that you do anything "wrong." My DD goes from whinging to giggling in 0.2 secs and can have an absolute meltdown over precisely nothing before being engrossed in stained glass / a sieve etc in same time span.
This happens min. 20 x per day 😅
Keep your voice nice and level and just explain what's happening or whatever nice and calmly. In desperate moments snacks may be offered 😆

Others have already said it, what a fabulous friend you are. She's lucky to have you.

I think previous posters have mentioned everything. I very much agree with mattress on the floor, ensure they give you the kids car seat if you’ll need it, and get a new sticker book or play doh set, or maybe a cake baking set that will keep the child occupied. Outdoor clothing for playground visits.
You’re a wonderful friend. We all need more people like you in our lives 💛

This is so lovely! You say you’ve familiarised yourself with where the nursery is, but can you go with your friend for a pick up one day? It normally looks a bit different at collection times. Good luck!

You're a great friend!

@GreatGateauxsby do we own the same child🤣🤣🤣 OP you sound amazing and your friend will be so happy her little one is in such caring hands

Ah this is lovely! I don't have any suggestions in terms of things you should do but just in terms of preparing yourself, when I went in at about 11pm to have DC2, my MIL came over to be with DC1 who still wasn't reliably sleeping through the night - he usually woke up pnce around midnight. (Actually, that's something that hasn't been mentioned: if its the middle of the night will you presumably go to hers rather than her waking DD and bringing her to yours?)
Anyway in my case, we cosleep, so MIL did the same, slept in our bed. But even though DC1 knows her well, and we'd talked to him several times to prepare him for her being there if the baby was born at night, she said he woke approx every 20 minutes the entire night asking if it was the daytime yet and were we back! So potentially be prepared for a rough night 😅

With nursery, you may need ID and a password... make sure you have both. Maybe pick her up one day so its not the first time when Mummy disappears?

Be prepared that she may want you overnight and not sleep alone.

Can you be my friend?

I was awake and replying at 5am as she woke me as she was in her room laughing her head off in her cot and then singing incy wincy spider 😅😅😅

on that basis I’m confident they broke the mould with my little cherub 😂 but possibly they are from the same factory 💕

Thank you so much everyone!!
I didn’t know she could still fall out of bed with a bed guard, can’t get the mattress on the floor as the rooms are all pretty small and the beds are minimum a double. Maybe a travel cot will be better? I’ve been over to theirs for bed time but I’ll make sure to get it all in writing!! She has a little soft toy she sleeps with but they said they’ll bring it at the time.
The current plan is if it is during the night they will bring their daughter to me, I don’t drive, they will effectively be driving past the end of my street more or less. If i were to go to them they’d need to wait 20+ minutes for me to get a taxi to them, then make the same journey back. However I know some degree of flexibility may be needed on that which is no problem, happy to get a taxi there if that proves to be more convenient at the time.
Definitely need to sort some toys out, though I was thinking in the day time we can go and get a new toy or something as a little treat. I’ll make sure to discuss the buggy plan.
Maybe I should do a trial run pick up from nursery one week and I already have their spare key (always have done and it’s been used many times already!).
Thanks again everyone, just desperately want to be as helpful as possible and not an inconvenience!!

Wow, your lucky friend can go in to hospital safe in the knowledge that her daughter is in wonderful hands.
you really are one in a million 😊

I wish you were my friend! What a kind and thoughtful friend, she's lucky to have you!

Wow! I thought this would be a post complaining about a friend who expected you to look after their child and you didn't want to (and no reason why you should, but nice you do). You're an amazing friend!

When the child is with you don't stress. It'll all be ok and you're not going to do anything wrong. The child may be a bit out of sorts - or not - because of the changes but that's normal, not a reflection of you.

Have fun and don't worry!

@Chesie what a lovely post!

Agree with everything that's been said.

Emergency contact
I'd sort what's app on your phone or another to video call Dad so she can see him and Mum if you're absolutely desperate but honestly it might scare her, so better to find out what story they've been telling her about when the baby comes and then basically say that to her word for word and then worst case call them so she can see.

Entertainment
There's a sticker book about hospitals you can get which includes a story/page about a baby being born if I recall correctly: https://www.bloomsbury.com/uk/visit-to-the-hospital-activity-and-sticker-book-9781526606457/

Also find out what be TV they approve of. Bluey is the best but she might be a bit young. Peppa Pig, Dinosaur Train and True were all popular in our house and TV is your best mate for breaking up periods and refocusing energy.

Food
Snacks she'll eat and meals she'll eat. I know you said mum is doing it but snacks are so handy, there's a fun thing called rainbow popcorn at our corner shop that the kids seem to lose their minds for when they visit. Carrot sticks, yoghurts, apple crisps etc.

First Aid
I almost don't want to mention this one as it's so unlikely to be happen but to reassure yourself watching a few videos on child first aid specifically around temperature and signs of illness, choking, and falls/cuts might help you to feel like you can deal with anything dramatic that happens in your watch and if it does don't panic toddlers are walking bump machines.

Roleplay
It really depends on the kid but when I was in hospital I bought a doll with the relevant hospital kit and then we could roleplay what happened and what the doctors did and how I would get better. We also did loads of age appropriate jigsaws as it was something calm we could do together when I was on painkillers. Charity shops have loads so a couple of those to do with her and send home to do with mum might be fun BUT you don't have to spend money. Honestly with the tips you've got already and TV it'll fly by before you know it. You could make paper dollies or pregnant mum and baby and that would be as effective as buying the doll. Ditto if you draw pictures of a pregnant woman and baby and daddy and then colour them in together.

Finally just to reiterate you sound like a wonderful friend and in sure the kid will have fun with you ♥️

Aw amazing! You're a great friend. Enjoy spending time with the baby x