Watching friends child while she’s in labour

[Chesie]

First time posting and going to use this board as it seems to be the most used.

My friend is 32 weeks pregnant with her second child, her older child is almost 2. I live super close to the hospital she is planning to give birth in (it’s a private hospital so I think if there are any issues or emergency’s it may end up being elsewhere), and has asked if I can look after her older child while she’s in labour; I’m more than happy to!
Now I’m a chronic over thinker and this friend means a lot to me so I want to make sure I’m being as helpful as possible.
So far we have upped the amount of time I spend with her older child; I see my friend every week but her little one goes to nursery some mornings so we’ve made sure we see each other more when she is home. Sometimes this has been me going to hers, sometimes her coming to mine. She’s dropped off an essentials bag of things her child might need while here, some pyjamas and clothes, nappies. I said I’d sort snacks and food, but she’s going to bring some frozen meals that she knows her daughter loves over too.
She has got me registered at her daughter’s nursery as someone who can pick her up and I’ve familiarised myself with where the nursery is.
I’m going to buy a bed guard as my beds are all quite high off the ground; and hopefully it will be useful for future sleepovers too!!
Ive kept my calendar effectively empty or easy to cancel for the 3 weeks before her due date, work are aware I might need to disappear quickly but it’s 15 minutes from work to home and 25 minutes in the best traffic from friends to hospital so I think that should be ok.
Now I’m just not sure if there is anything else I could do, I want my friend to know I’m here to do anything she needs. I really don’t want her to be stressed about her older baby while having her next!!
I was thinking of maybe offering for her husband to come here and nap if he needs it; but have said I’ll watch their daughter for as along as they need.
I’m feeling a little apprehensive as I’d hate to cause them any stress.
So I guess to make this work for the board; Am I being unreasonable to ask if there is anything else I should be doing to make things easier? Hoping some mums will be able to tell me what would have helped them since I’m clueless!!

All that sounds great. Your friend might not be in that long!

Labour is more likely to start at night. So beware of that, might be better for you to go to her house.

Bed - pillows on floor beside it (or blanket etc) in case she falls. Double might seem massive to her, you could put rolled duvet or cushions or something in to make it a bit smaller.

Making pictures to give to mummy might be nice. I wouldn't prepare that much activity, being in a new house is very exciting at that age, she'll probably be happy just looking at your kitchen cupboards etc!

I thought this was going to be a "I've said I'll watch her but ai u to think I shouldn't have to if blah blah blah" type.

Instead you are just posting about how awesome you are ☺️☺️

Bedtime routine, favourite book, car seat, and make sure you sleep in full PJ's in case you end up with a 2 yo on your bed at 3 am

Enjoy x

Why would her husband need to nap at yours?

I mean this kindly, but yes, you are indeed a chronic over thinker! Your friend may not be in hospital long at all — the last person I know who had a baby went to the maternity unit about 3 am, and was home again, with a healthy eight-pounder, in time for the six o’clock evening news.

Does she usually sleep in a bed or a cot? If cot then yes, a travel cot might be a good idea. If bed then you may not need a bed guard at all. My 2yo sleeps in a bed without a bed guard at home so does the same when away from home.

Have you ever had the toddler overnight? It might be an idea to have a trial run.

Presumably if you are doing childcare for labour there isn’t any local family etc so she may not have slept away from home without her parents ever. This was the situation I was in and my 2yo had a trial run sleepover recently that went well so I’m
feeling much more comfortable about him having a sleepover when I’m in labour now.

What a fabulous friend you are.

I was unprepared for the amount of waiting in hospital before I actually gave birth and was twitchy about DD1 being with GP longer than expected, so some reassurance that you’re not assuming it will only be one night etc is the only thing I can think of. But you’re more than covered, I honestly think you can relax and know you’re super well prepped already.

Don't offer for the husband to nap at yours. Why would he need to? Offering to take the toddler or prep food for them in the early days is better (or if possible even just doing the nursery pick up for them). But letting him nap at yours is a bit odd and to me feels more in his interests than your friend's.

But that part aside, you sound bloody lovely.

What a bloody awesome friend and person you are.

Maybe check what meals/foods that the dd would easily eat so that mealtimes are fun and less stressful?

And mum too, maybe if you can prep a few meals for her for when she gets home?

You are a diamond of a friend really. Having a baby and the few weeks after is such an overwhelming time. Not everyone easily adapts. There was nothing more that I needed than practical help - someone to ensure my older dc were ok, good food sorted, school runs sorted, if the parents needed anything, etc.

You sound like a lovely friend!

I think you have the basics covered, so just go with the flow!

The only thing you might need if the child is at nursery already and then you’re picking up is a buggy/car seat to get her back to your house. Would you be taking her into nursery in the morning?

We had my friend’s little girl same age when she was in labour, but we already had our own toddler at the time, so a bit of a different situation! She was with us for barely 24 hours as second labours tend to be faster. And even then her dad could’ve taken her home way earlier but she was in bed asleep so told him not to bother. I put her in a travel cot in our study and that worked fine.

Can the little one come to you for a sleepover in advance, so she doesn't only come once her mum is at the hospital? I'd also think of some "big girl" things you can do with her - baking etc. so she's enjoying her time with you.

Also came to say; mattress on the floor, rather than a bed guard.
When my children stayed at their Grandparents that’s what we did. You don’t have to worry about them falling out. Google Montessori floor mattress - often literally just a mattress on a mat.

Your friend is lucky to have you btw :)

You sound like a lovely friend. Just be aware as the date gets closer you might find it hard to sleep as you are expecting a call. I know my friend who looked after my other two when I had my third did, she only told me after. She was fine about it but hadn't expected it.

What a lovely friend! You already sound like you have gone above and beyond! Your friend is lucky to have you!

So what I think you could also do is the nursery pick up totally by yourself to see if the child actually goes with you happily. Also so the staff know your face.

I looked after my neighbours 2 year old whilst she was in labour with the second and I had to collect him from nursery. The staff checked my ID etc all fine but he picked up on fact that something was different and didn't want to come with me even though he had been to our house lots of times, knows me and was regularly playing with my three year old. We had to coax him to hold my three year olds hand and bribe with biscuits. All fine but it was a stress we could have done without

It all sounds perfect op. Just to prepare you that if things go well for her she might be out within a day or so, and her dh might get in to see her a lot so it might not be the stay it seems like it could be! (I gave birth at 6 in the morning and was out by the next afternoon!

I don't know if anyone's suggested this already but I would suggest it would be easier to look after the child in their own home. They have all their home comforts, it's their own environment and will be toddler proof, and their usual bed etc for sleep.

This is very true

You are a fantastic friend.

My inlaws agreed to watch our older child. I went into labour in the middle of the night and things moved fast. We pushed the panic button and they took their sweet time getting here, even stopped for a coffee. I gave birth 15 minutes after arriving at hospital wearing the dress I arrived in. My husband nearly missed it, he flung me out the door at the labour ward then went to park the car.

What a lovely friend you are! Love threads like this! Your friend is very lucky to have you!

This sounds great! Is it worth trying to have a sleepover before the baby comes? DC might be with you for a couple of nights when the time comes, you could do one night to get them used to it when parents are a bit more available for reassurance if it's needed.

When I had my 2nd ds1 was almost 3. He went to a neighbours house that he kind of knew. He came home having had a blast, he’d eaten sausages and ice cream! The ice cream was really mashed potato. Honestly it will be fine. You are very definitely overthinking it 🥰

Sounds like you are fully prepped for a night time drop off and sound like a very lovely friend.

I'd probably then, after breakfast, bus over to their house with the child and stay there for the rest of the time - easier as child has everything they know, their bed etc. The place will be child proofed. Then just stay there til they get home.

All sounds great.
One tip.
Don't put your phone on silent mode at bedtime.
When pg with dc2 my friend had offered to have dc1 while I was in labour.
Labour started, I tried calling her, it was 2a.m. her phone was on silent. It caused a lot of stress and panic and a long drive for in-laws to get here to take care of dc1, not what I needed.

Do you know if she settles well in a new place? My 2yo DS is a great sleeper but always so unsettled in a new place the first night or two. If this may be the case, could you have the child (+/- a parent) over for a sleepover? Might give you a chance to see how bedtime works in your house. This may be totally unnecessary, it just depends on her. Hope everything goes ok for all of you!

You are such a lovely person🌺