To think this is a disgusting statement not backed up by actual facts (making it typical for the fucking Tories)

[Iam4eels]

I saw this new article shared on Twitter and FB by various groups.

https://www.facebook.com/100064712255408/posts/pfbid02r5C7YjgfiDicCMkcdcgj3toJ63DxfPzZrhjvCQ5AkCcaVkAitxb6et4ERJpFnwQ1l/?app=fbl

Basically this councillor has said that parents need to be reminded of their responsibilities and that social services need to be more involved as we have children starting school unable to speak and children aged 6-7 still wearing nappies and still requiring help to speak

I work in education and I have never met a child who started school unable to speak who didn't also have other issues going on - be that EASL, trauma, SEN, disability/medical condition, or other issues. The same is true of children still in nappies, every child I have worked with who started school still in nappies has had development issues and has gone on to have identified SEND. Oftentimes when a child starts school, that's when the gaps in their development come to light as it becomes glaringly clear they won't just "grow out of it" or "will catch up". A lot of these children will already be on the shockingly long waiting list for assessment, a list that has grown longer and is harder to access thanks to Conservative cuts. Even the small percentage of cases where there are parenting issues have been exacerbated by the lack of support and intervention services, the cost of living, austerity and lack of investment in communities.

AIBU to be really angry at this councillor for punching down and blaming parents for the failings of the government because families in vulnerable circumstances are an easy scapegoat?

Do you dispute the increase or are you saying there has been a significant increase in these issues?

Teachers are agreeing with them. They don’t seem to think some parents are doing their job.

I'd say there's a fair bit of truth in that...

My 17 year old is still in nappies and still doesn't speak. He was in mainstream school at that age.
If a year 2 child is still in nappies during the day then there will be SEND/ a medical reason.

Some parents really don't do their job, whether not inclined to do so or incapable of doing so. Why is it wrong to say so?

Anything else important you're entrusted to do, you are trained until you're at a high enough standard and regularly held accountable.

Anyone can become a parent, but then can't be expected to parent effectively?

Councillors speech seems to be based on hearsay, with no official figures to back up any type of increase in these situations. Therefore I do not think you are being unreasonable as it seems like an attack on parents for no reason, which is the current go to of all conservative MP's as they push the focus on parents instead of their failings so that they can cut vital services even further. It's a targeted campaign which if you have a SEND child you will have noticed already as this has been steadily increasing for the last year at least.

Teachers seem to agree:

https://www.itv.com/news/2022-03-10/half-of-pupils-not-ready-to-start-primary-school-say-teachers

If they truly think that then they should build more specialist schools to help the children with sen and also proper help for the parents of them too. Though from what I've read on here that's never going to happen. Our government is and will probably always will be a complete clusterfuck

Every council has a rent a gob Tory.

She is saying there are significant cuts to services which, in the past, would have supported parents. This is not just her opinion, it’s a fact.

And another fact is that the gap between rich and poor families has grown massively, increasing numbers of parents have to work 2 or 3 jobs to support their families and cannot afford good childcare when they work. Children are not getting the attention they need because society is breaking down for the poorest. This is also not opinion but fact.

@Boomer55 The teachers agree that a lot of children are not as ready for school, in terms of social skills according to the article you have quoted. As far as toilet training goes, the screenshot says it all

My 3 year old can’t speak, there’s a good chance he’ll start school unable to talk. I’d love for someone - anyone - in “the system” to care.

It drives me insane that people like this will blame parents without saying “why”. I mean, surely a lazy parent doesn’t want their kid to still be in nappies? That’s so much harder than them using the toilet. So either the child has a serious need or the adult has a serious need (or both).

SEN families are the new scapegoats for Tory cuts and failures.

Teachers also know that more of our children with SEND issues are being forced into mainstream settings so as not to fork out for the help they really need.

I'm constantly posting articles and links showing this hideous attitude on my personal FB account so as to educate others, but it really seems like I'm fighting a losing battle when I see some comments on here.

I wish my child wasn't non speaking. I wish it was just crap parenting on my part - it'd be an easier fix!

Don't get me started on Gillian Keegan, BTW.

Useless waste of space.

There have been teachers on here (MN) saying the same thing, and the children weren't SN.

You are absolutely right. I'm also a parent to a SEND child and the amount of parent blaming being hurled about at the moment is insane. But they want to shift the public attitude so that they can cut services (as set out in their education reform plans) and claim its because the children don't actually need them, and 'pushy' parents are to blame. It's a disgrace. And to be honest, the latest statements from labour aren't much better

In the vast majority of cases their will be a SEND issue.

But.... I used to work in a school office and can say, hand on heart, there were some children who had issues around using the toilet, using cutlery, sitting at a table etc that had nothing to do with SEND and everything to do with poor parenting practices.

But, some of these parents were no more than teenagers themselves and me and the other office staff used to spend a lot of time talking to them and making basic suggestions as to how they might improve things at home, some of it is obvious to the rest of us - sort your packed lunches and uniform out the night before so mornings are less chaotic - but were a revelation to them.

There is truth in the statement, but it's not the whole story.

How do they know they aren't SEN? From my experience, it can sometimes take years for a child to receive a correct diagnosis

Then how do you know they are before the diagnosis?

Yep.

They all preach "inclusivity in mainstream" but without solid evidence of the additional staffing and support and without having that conversation in tandem, I really don't trust any party on this issue.

I also think SEND kids are the canaries in the coalmine for the state of the education system. I tell my siblings, none of whom have children with additional needs, that if they can do this to the most vulnerable kids, then their child's education isn't any safer.

@SpudleyLass same re. advising other parents. They start with the vulnerable kids and then move onto the others, but I find other parents don't care when its not 'their' kid in the firing line.

My son was identified as being possible autistic in reception and wasn't officially diagnosed until year 5 due to waiting lists, but his school had a strong SEND policy and teachers could recognise behaviour a lot easier than others. So it's very possible these are kids who are being missed in terms of a diagnosis because the teachers cannot spot the subtle signs and may get diagnosed much later on.

What I'm saying is, people cannot say that the reason is not SN at that age with confidence, as many children mask or show subtle symptoms which teachers with less training will not necessarily pick up on as SN.

Because the parents are either languishing in squalor or working so many hours their children would be luckily to pick them out of a police line up. Parenting is now an impossible job if you are not rich enough to live a very comfortable life.

It’s probably difficult to understand if you’re a good parent who does your best to always put your children first, but a significant minority of parents simply don’t. It’s not new, it’s always been the case, and it shouldn’t be controversial to say so. Social services caseloads are simply too overwhelmed to pick up all the children who live in lower level chaos and neglect. Pretending that it’s all autism or special needs or cost of living does a real disservice and is faintly insulting to the thousands of good parents who are giving parenting their all despite those sorts of issues.

At the end of the day, it's easier for the incumbents to argue the toss about why it's happening and punch down, then actually fund the support and provisions needed.

Much easier to call us shouting parents and balem us for the Tribunal appeals backlog and call EHCPs golden tickets when they are anything but.

Its all working a charm though

Closing Sure Start centres, the strain on the NHS - in particular the lack of speech and language therapists - generational poverty, lack of educational psychologists meaning fewer children with SEN issues recognised etc all have a part to play.