To think this is a disgusting statement not backed up by actual facts (making it typical for the fucking Tories)

[Iam4eels]

I saw this new article shared on Twitter and FB by various groups.

https://www.facebook.com/100064712255408/posts/pfbid02r5C7YjgfiDicCMkcdcgj3toJ63DxfPzZrhjvCQ5AkCcaVkAitxb6et4ERJpFnwQ1l/?app=fbl

Basically this councillor has said that parents need to be reminded of their responsibilities and that social services need to be more involved as we have children starting school unable to speak and children aged 6-7 still wearing nappies and still requiring help to speak

I work in education and I have never met a child who started school unable to speak who didn't also have other issues going on - be that EASL, trauma, SEN, disability/medical condition, or other issues. The same is true of children still in nappies, every child I have worked with who started school still in nappies has had development issues and has gone on to have identified SEND. Oftentimes when a child starts school, that's when the gaps in their development come to light as it becomes glaringly clear they won't just "grow out of it" or "will catch up". A lot of these children will already be on the shockingly long waiting list for assessment, a list that has grown longer and is harder to access thanks to Conservative cuts. Even the small percentage of cases where there are parenting issues have been exacerbated by the lack of support and intervention services, the cost of living, austerity and lack of investment in communities.

AIBU to be really angry at this councillor for punching down and blaming parents for the failings of the government because families in vulnerable circumstances are an easy scapegoat?

Well lazy is practically a party line for the Tories

Can’t afford to feed your family, it’s because you are too LAZY to cook from scratch using fresh ingredients.

Can’t work because of your health or mental health…it’s because you are LAZY and must make more effort to work or we will penalise you.

Your child starts school still in nappies or unable to communicate it’s because you are a LAZY parent.

Honestly not one iota of genuine deep thought goes into any of these statements because they are so far removed from what life is like for someone who doesn’t have access to savings, private education, private healthcare they simply can’t understand that it’s not laziness for the vast majority of people, it genuine struggle and circumstance. They are wilfully ignorant of the genuine plight many people face, but of course it’s so much easier to point the finger in the other direction and call it LAZY! 🙄

Cooking from scratch is far more expensive than a microwave or oven meal, and that is if you can even afford to run your Hob/oven as well as afford the fresh ingredients! Likewise with physical and mental health, I’m sure they are many people who would be capable of work, but long wait list and poor access to support services may have seen their health do nothing but decline due to the long wait times. The exact same thing can be said for parents of children with as yet undiagnosed additional needs, the threshold for referral is high which means many children do not get a diagnosis until the situation starts impacting the school system instead of just the poor parents.
Those poor parents have probably been chasing and asking/begging for support long before that child got to school age.

Yes, I agree these people exist. But why are there apparently more of them? Just complaining that they’re shitty won’t change anything.

YANBU.

It's nice to see a teacher recognise this. I have a SEND kid and I got the blame all through early years. Initially school also put the blame on me. I paid out thousands in private reports and suddenly they accept my child has significant SEND and immediately say they cannot meet need and kick him out of school. He's 7 now and no school place.

I'm sure the propaganda is to save them paying for the provision these kids need

Sometimes children come into school with issues that should have been picked up already. Sometimes a child gets hearing aids or glasses or whatever and their abilities dramatically improve because they can actually follow what’s going on- much later than is ideal because the parents didn’t notice.

Some parents really are crap.

In the absence of SEN, there is absolutely no excuse for a school aged child to not be out of nappies during the day and at school with brushed teeth.

Teachers are trained (obviously to varying degrees) in a wide range of SEND and how to address issues in the classroom.

This does involve recognising signs and what a developmental delay or specific difficulty looks like in practice.

Most have experience of working with a number of different children with different needs - certainly there is is statistically a higher number in one average class than a parent has children.

They also know what works for those diagnosed, and that these things are likely to help others who are less able for whatever/unknown reasons.

They're also trained in child protection to keep children safe in education. If they think there's no special need and suspect neglect or abuse, they should be listened to and appropriate action taken to investigate and ultimately support the children's parents.

Like @Createausername1970 , unfortunately OP, I can think of one little boy who started reception unable to say more than a few words, and still in nappies, simply because his uncle and grandmother (his guardians) had ignored him for his entire 4 years.

He was a bright little boy and came on in leaps and bounds as soon as he had anyone interacting with him.

So, sadly that councilor is not wrong.

Yep.

I work in a school and while the vast majority of parents bend over backwards to make sure that their DC are fed, warm, clean and properly dressed, there is a significant minority who don't.

Their DC arrive at school unwashed, unbrushed and often unfed. Some of them arrive in reception with language delay and social issues. It's not all to do with poverty - some of it is just crap parenting.

And some of those crap parents will not take any advice or help. Some of them have their own issues. Some of them are self-obsessed. I honestly have no idea how you reach them.

That's because they're not.

There are not hoardes of NT school-aged children in nappies. There are no facts to back up this statement beyond "teachers say" or "a teacher reports". How many teachers? Where? In my experience, and that of my colleagues, it just isn't something that happens. Every child I have met who is still in nappies at reception age has either had a medical condition, a disability or SEN or has gone on to be diagnosed with such and the toileting issues have been a symptom of such.

I'm not disputing an increase in children with speech/communication issues however the reasons for this are not simply down to "bad parenting", it's far more complex than that.

Early intervention services such as Sure Start, health visitors, early years SALT programmes such as Tiny Talk (delivered by groups like Sure Start), etc no longer exist or are down to the bare bones of provision and so small problems early in a child's development aren't picked up and addressed, they then become larger problems by the time they start school.

Early intervention is key to improving outcomes, and that includes parenting interventions, but the government has systematically dismantled those intervention systems.

I agree with your points about SEN and disability and that the state mustn't absolve itself of responsibility to children and parents that rely upon their service by cheaply in cynically blaming parents . But I also feel it is naive and wrong to suggest that this is solely the states responsibility and that there are no feckless, uninterested, unworthy and uncaring parents out there.

In any case, no matter who we blame, we can't be a society that doesn't at least try to give these children half a chance. I welcome the proposals but fear that it will increase the already heavy burden on teachers.