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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how full time mums cope? Helpful hints.

59 replies

Lennon80 · 11/01/2024 12:23

About to start a full time role - no family support and three young kids (youngest is reception age). Please tell me what you do to make life easier as I feel like I won’t cope and already anxious.

OP posts:
Toooldtocareanymore · 11/01/2024 14:39

I always worked full time, not sure what your current week day includes but i guess that's where you have to think, when will i do this when you start the new role? is there some other way to get this done than you doing it?

However i can tell some things i noticed that were different in my household, than in some homes where there was a SAHM or a parent only doing very limited work hours. Such as I had tonnes of school uniforms , i found afterschool's/ minders / creches they often came home filthy, as no getting home and changing , and no time to wash and dry jumpers, find missing items mid week, so i just made sure i had a shirt, trousers/ skirts a day with spare jumpers , and on a saturday or sunday i'd do the weeks uniforms individually for each child one a day on a hanger. When they had PE twice a week i got a second pe uniform.

We did little or no after school extra activities on school nights , the only exception was something like swimming when all of us got to do something at same time. Lots of summer easter camps clubs and activities.

Online shopping works for me, with an evening delivery, as i have sort of job i can update shopping basket on my pc if i think of something we need, and use lunchtimes etc to virtually sort the shopping, but that's really only relevant if you use the week days to do shopping/meal plan etc. with 3 young ones you probably try already to avoid having them doing shopping with you.

Moreorlessmentallystable · 11/01/2024 15:39

Tidy a bit at night. Healthy dinners that you can cook in 30 min or chuck in the oven/slow cooker. 1 big shop a week. Calendar visible to everyone in the household. Not a lot of after-school activities. Respect your routine and kids bedtime like the law 🤣

HollyJollyRobin · 11/01/2024 16:26

Super market delivery is such a help! Would never go back to doing it myself!

Kazzyhoward · 11/01/2024 16:36

Organisation is the key along with streamlining and standardisation of the mundane.

Have a calendar and make sure EVERYTHING is put on it, i.e. renewal dates for utilities/phone contracts, car service/mot/road tax, school holidays, school events, appointments, etc etc and keep it up to date.

Pay bills and answer correspondence etc as soon as it arrives - adopt a "just do it" strategy so you don't miss deadlines and don't waste time (and mindspace) worrying about things, trying to find things, etc.

Create pre-populated shopping lists on, say, Word or Excel and just print them out or have similar on your phone. Delete the stuff you don't need and that leaves all the stuff you do need and buy regularly - far quicker to knock things off a standardised list than start a new shopping list from scratch every week.

Meal planning - keep to the same rough pattern, i.e. a fish dish on Friday, meat and two veg on a Sunday, etc etc., so that you can plan your buying of fruit, veg, fresh meat and other perishables to avoid waste and to avoid having to do "mini shops" to buy things you've forgotten or run out of (which wastes time).

Plan your trips out, incorporate a shopping trip on the way back from picking up the kids from a party, school or activity - saves all that wasted time of coming in and going out multiple times.

Lennon80 · 11/01/2024 19:16

These are all so helpful thank you! I’m definitely going to get a robotic hoover!
have always had loads of uniform as I can’t cope with having to wash all the time and kids have school lunches already.
not get a pet was one I wish I could undo but we already have some - luckily the hamster has died now and not been replaced but the cats are here to stay.
I can’t imagine how it will work as after number three I took a break so have been at home for the past four years! Prior to that I was part time with two but full time with one and that was hard and I had my parents then! Thanks to everyone for responding x

OP posts:
SilverGlitterBaubles · 11/01/2024 19:24

Shopping online
Meal planning
Batch cooking at weekends
Slow cooker recipes
Preparing uniform, lunchboxes, PE kits etc the night before
Getting up just early enough before kids to have a quiet cuppa and get ready before the madness begins.
Accept that you cannot do it all, that you might have to limit extracurricular activities and lots of weekday play dates.

WonderingAboutThus · 11/01/2024 19:50

Figure out which corners to cut at work. Look at the men for inspiration.

Didimum · 11/01/2024 20:12

An amazing partner and a nanny

Rapunzel91 · 11/01/2024 20:30

Whats helping me so far is to have employers that are very flexible, ie, I can do pick ups/drop offs and just catch up later on. DH is the same.
Also, automate as much as possible. We have the food shop and dog food delivered and I’m working on having that set up on the same time every week with weekly essentials to lessen the work load. Same with meals. Definitely have to meal plan better as dinners have been stressful.
Also having set days for cleaning bathrooms, wash bed sheets etc takes out effort in planning. Even better get a cleaner
Batch buy birthday cards/presents/wrapping paper

Other than that I’m massively feeling like I’m not covering any areas of my life properly and it’s very much ‘oh I forgot about xyz!’. I’m hoping it will get easier with time

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