AIBU to think I can survive working nights?

[Laura1192]

Hi all,

I leave my job at the end of the month and need to find something as a replacement asap, my husband works different days each week so my job was great as I was able to work around school hours. Unfortunately finding a job like this in my industry at short notice isn't easy.

So that I am not out of work I have looked at a role working the same three night shifts a week. I will pop the working pattern below and my proposed sleep schedule. If anyone on here has worked nights with young children can you advise if this is feasible?

My plan would be:

Thursday night 11.30pm - 9am (my husband can drop to school that morning)
Friday - 5.30pm - 9pm sleep (husband gets home at 5)
Friday - Work 10pm - 6am
Saturday - sleep 6.30am - 10.30am
Saturday - sleep 5.30pm - 9pm
Saturday - Work 10pm - 6am
Sunday - sleep 6.30am - 10.30am
Sunday - sleep 5.30pm - 9pm
Sunday - Work 10pm - 6am
Monday - sleep 6.30am - 12pm (my husband can drop to school that morning)

Mon/Tues/Weds night normal sleep pattern 11-7

Any advice would be great, my youngest is 5 and oldest 13. Very hands-on Dad so no concerns there.

Thank you in advance!

I don't understand, if the kids are school, why you don't just sleep in the day? Same for the weekends really? Why are you breaking your sleep up into chunks?

It never occurred to me to do that when I was nights but maybe I'm missing something?

I get the shorter sleep on Monday as it'll help you get back to a normal sleep for your days off.

Why are you not sleeping until 5:30pm on the Friday?

I worked nights when my kids were younger. Sleep in the day when they go to school/childcare.

Working nights with kids is fine, yes, plenty do it.

Working every weekend? When is your family time?

Things to think about. One is that you will be knackered after working all night. It is hard to describe. Utterly drained. Your body is crying out for sleep. I've stayed up all day after a night shift when I've absolutely had to eg school holidays but it is horrible and you need to think about things like are you actually safe to drive.

Second thing is that just like you don't come home from work at 5pm and then go to sleep at 5.30, even working nights you need a bit of time to decompress before you fall asleep.

Then think about how much sleep time you get. If you usually sleep 8 hours on a night then are you going to do well on a night with less?

Also don't underestimate how hard it is to sleep in the day with daytime noises. I used to find that with ear plugs I would crash and sleep deeply at first but then any time from 11am to about 1pm I was liable to wake and once awake that was it, I was done.

So yeah, you can do nights but I think you are underestimating your sleep needs and the impact of working nights every weekend when the rest of your family is following a normal Monday to Friday pattern.

Have you ever worked a night duty? I think you’re going to be destroyed. I would only undertake that schedule if someone’s life depended on it.

Long-term night worker here. Why break up your sleeps if you don't have to ? Your kids are presumably in school on Friday - so you should be sleeping all day.

Get good noise cancelling ear plugs, and make sure your bedroom curtains exclude all light. Turn phone off.

This explains it perfectly. Also a long time shift/night worker & on paper it might look east but the reality is much harder.

I think nights as a stop gap is doable. I did them for a year or so and hated it honestly. The sleep isn't as good in the day and I had spent so long working 9-5 I couldn't adjust. However, it was absolutely survivable until a better job came along.

Some people do love them though, plenty I worked with hated the thought of the mon-fri 9-5 and actively avoided it.

Also, I don't know if you've made a mistake but you say 3 shifts but the schedule seems to have 4? Or am I going mad?!

Isn't that four nights a week?

Thu 11.30pm - Fri 9am

Fri 10pm - Sat 6am

Sat 10pm - Sun 6am

Sun 10pm - Mon 6am

Sorry, got it.

You plan a lie-in on Friday morning before three 8 hour night shifts.

What's your sleep like generally?

Do you sleep until your alarm, and would sleep until midday if you could?

Or do you find yourself waking at 5am and unable to get back to sleep?

Are you a light sleeper who gets woken easily?

Do you find it easy to get back to sleep if you're woken?

Personally I wouldn't sleep until 9am on a Friday even if I could. I just can't sleep in anymore. I'm mid 40s. So I couldn't count on banking extra sleep in that way.

I've never done night work, but if I had been up all night working until 6am (in fact my desk job has resulted in this occasionally), I think I'd sleep my normal amount of hours in one go in the day. So maybe sleeping 7am until 2/3pm, getting up for school pick up on the Monday. I'd then be late to bed on the Monday night, getting up normal time on the Tuesday.

That's what I did

Actually, agree with a PP about getting up earlier (12pm) on the Monday, to get yourself back into routine for your days off.

Are you planning on getting up on Thursday morning, and not go to sleep until Friday teatime?

You'd be much better not splitting the sleeps if possible. Can't you sleep til lunchtime after every shift?

What is going to happen to your sleep in the school holidays? When the kids are ill?

Manageable for the odd week, but I don't think it's long term sustainable.

What kind of work is this? If its manual like in a supermarket, you will be absolutely shattered after a shift.

As others have said, it's not easy to go straight to sleep. It took me at least 1hr 30. Also you need to realise that your children will want to see you.

It could be doable for a very short period of time.

I see your logic for the split sleep on Sat and Sun (spend time with family). But I think you'd need to be prepared to write Saturday and Sunday mornings off completely. Does that fit with your weekend routine? Will you see enough of your kids? Your weekends will be pretty compromised but you'll be pretty available in the week. Does that make up for it?

There is no way I could sleep like that.
If you think it can work for you then give it a go. It sounds like you plan for it to be temporary anyway?

Are you comfortable with having no quality weekend time as a family?

We don't have enough information about your normal sleep cycle. Are you a natural night owl or a chirpy dawn person? Do you fall asleep easily? Are you groggy if woken in the wrong part of a night's sleep?

Your schedule seems to assume you will put your head on the pillow, and fall asleep straight away for four hours. I can't do that myself.

Me too, I did permanent nights x3 ot 4 a week for years, catching sleep during the day between school drop off and pick up if I could, if not I did alternate nights with no sleep during the day. Goodness knows how I did it looking back M

My DH goes straight to bed after night shifts, then up for a while in the middle of the day and back to bed for a few hours before work. This works for him, but we don't have small children and it's only every few weeks.

People do what they need to do to provide for their families so I hope you can make it work. There is more and more awareness that night working isn't good for you physiologically. But people have to do it (and I for one am grateful that they do). I suspect routine, good nutrition and family support are they key to being as healthy as possible.

It's doable, when I worked permanent nights my sleep was split like this because it did work best for me, getting some sleep as soon as I got in* because I was so exhausted (don't underestimate the effect not just staying awake but actually being alert and active enough to work has on your body and mind). Up for a few hours during the day and then another sleep before I went back.
But, don't expect to be particularly productive in that middle time, I was always quite sluggish and tbh grumpy because I hadn't had a decent sleep and it showed!

• • and as others have said it's not always as simple as going straight to sleep, you're often quite wired and over tired and it can take a while to sleep no matter how tired you are, and depending on the job the busiest time can be the morning just before you leave, getting the adrenaline going and meaning you need to wind down first.

Other tips -

stay hydrated and lay off the coffee or energy drinks, I don't drink coffee after about 2am on nights no matter how groggy I feel, water and fresh air help, as does eating something like a banana or porridge.

Watch the 4am slump! Always around that time I find myself evaluating my life choices and feeling very sorry for myself!

Eat before you sleep, I'm always really hungry after a night shift and I usually have a dinner before I sleep in the morning, a sandwich or something during the middle part and then toast before I go as well as some light snacks through the night to keep me going.

Get up earlier after your last night, it's hard but you could fall into the trap of then being awake half the night the next night because your routine is buggered.

People do underestimate the effect nights has on them, I worked them for years through necessity and it's taken a toll physically and mentally, and I really struggle with them now because I struggle to get back into a normal routine and broken sleep is never good.

Good luck

I did nights for a while many years ago and I really didn't get on with it.

The actual working through the night was fine and somewhat more enjoyable than working through the day, but the impact on the rest of life as I knew it (especially sleep!) was just too much. I found as someone else said I'd get home at 9am, crash out instantly then be up by 1pm and unable to go back to sleep. Then once in a while would go into vampire mode and only get woken by partner coming back in gone 6pm. Weird getting up out of bed and dealing with evening meal smells!

But, don't expect to be particularly productive in that middle time, I was always quite sluggish and tbh grumpy because I hadn't had a decent sleep and it showed!

Same here. The sluggishness typically wears off exactly as I'm scheduled to have the second sleep, and then I can't sleep!

I work nights and can tell you that that is not at all sustainable

You need a proper sleep not waking after few hours then going back later