AIBU to think I can survive working nights?

[Laura1192]

Hi all,

I leave my job at the end of the month and need to find something as a replacement asap, my husband works different days each week so my job was great as I was able to work around school hours. Unfortunately finding a job like this in my industry at short notice isn't easy.

So that I am not out of work I have looked at a role working the same three night shifts a week. I will pop the working pattern below and my proposed sleep schedule. If anyone on here has worked nights with young children can you advise if this is feasible?

My plan would be:

Thursday night 11.30pm - 9am (my husband can drop to school that morning)
Friday - 5.30pm - 9pm sleep (husband gets home at 5)
Friday - Work 10pm - 6am
Saturday - sleep 6.30am - 10.30am
Saturday - sleep 5.30pm - 9pm
Saturday - Work 10pm - 6am
Sunday - sleep 6.30am - 10.30am
Sunday - sleep 5.30pm - 9pm
Sunday - Work 10pm - 6am
Monday - sleep 6.30am - 12pm (my husband can drop to school that morning)

Mon/Tues/Weds night normal sleep pattern 11-7

Any advice would be great, my youngest is 5 and oldest 13. Very hands-on Dad so no concerns there.

Thank you in advance!

My DH works nights 9-6 but only 2 shifts a week. He did quite a bit of overtime last month in the lead up to Christmas and just upping to 3 days a week broke him. His sleep pattern and just general alertness went to pot.

2 days a week and it's fine, he only needs to change his pattern for 1.5 days. and I do the school run on the two mornings that he's been on shift. But more than that wouldn't be sustainable.

Some people manage nights and some don't, you won't know u til you do them. I personally can't manage them, I feel sick / hungover / can't eat / sleep.poorly in the day, absolute shit show.
Can you not work nights in the week and sleep when dc are at school?

Its not something I'd ever go back to unless I absolutely had to but then I did it with pre school kids
It could be easier with school age kids in term time

It's unrealistic. You will not have normal sleep schedule on your days off, you also won't be ready for bed straight after finishing your night shifts. You will have the same sleep pattern as if you were working days - i.e. finish the job, back home and not ready for bed for at least 4-5 hours. The last day after the night shift will be all sleep.

Sleep as soon as you get home in the morning for as long as you can then have an hour or even half an hour before you start your shift again if you've slept poor in the morning. Try not to sleep as long on your last night to reset your body clock but prepare to be a bit tired and go to bed a bit earlier
Your "sleep schedule " is not sustainable

I don’t understand why you’re cutting your sleep up like that and not sleeping all day when the kids are at school?

That's ridiculous you can't turn sleep on and off like that. Also why are staying up until Friday evening?

Nights are brutal. It's feasible, but that sleep schedule is unlikely to work unless you're a really good/easy sleeper. Sleeping in the morning and then trying to go back to sleep again just 7 hours later is difficult as you've taken the edge off that tiredness.

Night shift worker here 👋

if your husband doesn’t work weekends,
then he’ll need to pick up the slack.

I start at 10pm finish at 6am.
I sleep 7-1pm. Go back to bed at 6pm.
wake at 9pm and repeat!
words of advice, do not try and survive on minimal sleep. Your mental health, gut health and physical health will suffer.

Student nurse here and from experience when I get home from a night shift it takes me an hour or two to wind down before I could sleep so the pattern that you have wouldn’t work for me.

I work all nights, 3 or 4 12.5 hour nights a week, the days changes weekly, some days ill have them together, somedays split, some weeks ill have 4 off, others 2 befor i do another 3 or 4. A schedule for sleep will never work. You just sleep when you can and catch up when you can. I woke up today at 7.00 for the kids for school, im on a night tonight, tomorrow and sunday. "powering through" is how to get through them. Ill get home at around 8am, go to bed at 9am until 1pmish tomorrow and sunday, monday i will dose on the sofa on and off all day and sleep properly that night. But you cant say "at 5.30pm ill sleep till 9pm" as chances are that will never happen

I’ve done this for 9 years and works perfectly for me. I split my sleep as during the day I can never sleep longer than 3/4 hours in one go. so I sleep for 3/4 hours when I get home. Get up and spend time with the family, then back to bed around 6 till 9 before my next night shift. Like I said 9 years and it works perfectly for me.

How are you as a sleeper op? This is key. My oh could do nights but then he's a ridiculous sleeper, on a plane, on a train, in the loos at work, any time day or night. Me however, if I miss my sleep 'window' at around 10pm then I struggle. I get sleepy when it gets dark and in dim rooms, I'm very keyed into the circadian rhythms. I would be AWFUL at night shifts, having babies almost killed me because I needed to be up in the night and struggled to get to sleep again.

Fri and Mon sleep when kids are at school. Sat and Sun sleep during day while DH cares for the kids.?

To leave work at 6 and expect to be asleep by 6.30! 🤣 definitely not

I worked nights for 8 years and it was better to work my 3 nights on the trot, as it was difficult to sleep one night then to try and sleep the day then back to sleeping in the night,
I don’t think people realise how hard it is to get into a routine when working nights

Why are you getting up at 1030? If your children are at school you should sleep during the day

Realistically as pp said you won't fall asleep at 0630. I'm sometimes still awake at 0900 depending how busy my shift is because my minds still so active

Night shift is really tiring. Splitting into 2 short sleeps a day is probably unlikely to work long term. You'll be exhausted.

I'm on a roster with seven nights every four to five weeks and I hate doung them . I'm a total bitch that week. Tired, irritable and a nightmare to be around. In my daughter's younger years her GPs would take her to school and bring her home so I could sleep during the day.

I recommend good earplugs (you will go through many types before finding "the ones") and a sleep mask. Blackout curtains.

But your schedule is nuts. You won't know what day it is, ever, on that. I wouldn't do it myself.

I worked 3 nights a week, 12 hour shifts with a hours commute (traffic) each side, while looking after a toddler and it almost killed me. did it for 18 months.

Even when dd started school, I’d get home at half 9, have to shower and eat and no matter how exhausted you are, you don’t just fall asleep. Sleep is broken, you hear every noise outside, the letters box etc. And then I’d have to wake up at 2:45, Chuck some clothes on and get her from school. school holidays and before she started school, I didn’t sleep at all in the day.

Even though I did every other night so never two in a row it was awful. It consumed my life.

Just beucase you say “sleep between 5:30 and 9” that probably won’t happen. you’lll most likely lay there frustrated, hearing every noise in the house and getting angry only to drop off 20 mins before your alarm goes off.

No wage would ever tempt me to work nights again! I gained 5 stone in 18 months as I was mainlining sugar.

No you will run yourself into the ground

Why are you having a few hours sleep twice a day? I think you should just have all the sleep at once. It’s unrealistic to think that you will finish work at 6am and be asleep by 6:30am, just like people who work in the day you will get home. Have something to eat, a shower etc and wind down before you sleep

I work nights with kids albeit it irregular blocks of 2, 3 or 4 nights with the rest being day shifts. It’s not as easy as that to get to sleep on demand. I need to wind down after a shift. And once I’ve had a few hours I wouldn’t be able to instantly sleep for a short chunk pre night shift. The difficulty will be it being weekend nights rather than nights in general.

if you sleep normally Thursday night for most people it will be hard to sleep at all pre night. I do errands in the morning then relax, I can sometimes get an afternoon nap but often 1.5 hours max (annoyingly I could probably sleep more if it wasn’t for the pressure to sleep).

Then you will probably find you need to sleep 5-6 hours straight on sat and Sunday eg 10-3 to function well so a big part of your weekend with your children will be gone. If it’s not long term I’d just do that and sleep as much as you need at weekends.

The other difficulty with weekends is noise disturbing your sleep and maybe not being able to get back once woken.