To think this isn’t behavioural : child’s eating.

[2024BigWhoop]

I have a 6 year old son and getting him to eat a varied diet is a nightmare.

He had a dairy, fish and egg allergy until he was about 2.5 years old and so weaning him was very difficult and fraught with anxiety. We were very limited in what we could give him and I was so nervous when we started introducing foods.

As a result we missed the window of getting him excited about tastes and solids and getting him to eat and enjoy food has been an ongoing battle.

He gets very upset if he is asked to try new foods and he will sit and cry rather than have one forkful. He almost looks scared at the prospect of eating food.

He seems to have a massive issue with certain textures to the point where he will gag if there is an unexpected texture in his mouth and he will then vomit.

He can handle having a piece of chicken on his own and some potatoes on its own but if you put chicken and potato on the same spoon and he eats it, he will vomit.

It’s got to the point where I hate going out for meals because there’s usually nothing he will eat.

Christmas was very hard as our big family was eating a lovely dinner whilst my son sat there with some sandwiches and a packet of crisps. I know our family sit in judgement of us ☹️

Me and DH have tried everything to get him to try more meals…..bribes, threats, pleading…..but nothing works.

We decided to trial him having hot school dinners instead of a packed lunch in the hope he’d see his friends eating a variety of meals and want to join them but it didn’t work, and after about two weeks of him refusing to eat his hot meal at school we went back to giving him a packed lunch.

My parents say it is completely behavioural and we need to take a firmer hand but my gut instinct is that it’s something more than that. It’s not normal for a 6 year old to start gagging and vomiting if he senses a certain texture or taste is it? Or is it? I don’t know.

Our first child eats really well so this ongoing battle with our second child is difficult and we feel lost. I don’t want meal times to be stressful but I feel exasperated. There are probably only about 5 foods he will reliably eat. And he looks so pale ☹️

I don’t know if his early challenges with his allergies and negative weaning experience has had some kind of long-term effect but I don’t know how to fix it.

I think it’s time to get a professional opinion of some sort but my DH thinks that’s OTT and we should just wait for him to improve. But we’ve been waiting for 4 years and if anything it’s getting worse ☹️

I found this book helpful, lots of explanation and useful strategies

@2024BigWhoop Everything you say about your dc absolutely screams of ARFID to me. Please look it up and see what you think.

I was an absolutely terrible eater when I was a child, I'd heave and gag just thinking about trying something, never mind actually putting it in my mouth, and I had a complete light bulb moment when I found out about ARFID. Everything made sense.

Incidentally, a few years ago I needed some intervention work done on my teeth, and the dentist said that I had the strongest gag reflex he'd ever come across in his entire career. He had to make me a special shield thing to stop his instruments touching the inside of my mouth and setting it off.

I may have undiagnosed autism and AD(H)D. And I work with kids with autism.

1. My mum says I ate nearly nothing as a toddler. Later I started to refuse particular foods, like milk and butter. I was forced. As an adult I found out I am intolerant to milk and likely other foods. I have a mild physical response, but eating dairy (or glutamate) accidentally makes me feel absolutely horrid. It is extreme emotional pain, which comes from my body, somehow, as if my brain is on fire. If he felt like that, I can imagine there is fear around food. I have fear. Then include the stress around it (not your fault). At his stress is logical.
2. I second the Arfid. Several kids I work with have it. There are specialised dieticians. Who guide people with this. Find one. A friends daughter had adhd and arfid. She got specialised help.
3. Is there maybe autism or adhd? Are there other signs? It’s often related.
4. Tell the family to mind their own business and be gentle with your kid. Putting pressure doesn’t help. If he has sensitivities he likely is also sensitive to other peoples stress.