To wish I had a "me" in my life

[GauntJudy]

Today I had to collect my car from the garage, a 20 minute walk in the rain. I mostly get on with stuff but today I just thought "if I had a me in my life this wouldn't be happening".

Close friends and family don't drive cos they don't need to. But I need to, and part of that is ferrying them around. I get an online shop and get requests from various people who want me to add stuff for them. I'm meeting friends this week, it was me trying to get a date out of them, me booking the restaurant.

I feel like I'm Barbara Royle, surrounded by Jims. Must be nice to have someone in your life who just does all this stuff for you.

I'm single. Maybe this is the benefit of being in a relationship (although my last relationship was just another Jim Royle in my life).

Sigh. I'm just moaning!

Online shopping is not delivered for free. These CFs are saving a fortune piggybacking on your delivery. Just say NO

I hear you, OP.

@HarpyRampant Where do I get one of these 'I take no leave of your mother!' slogan t-shirts?

‘What would Lady Catherine de Bourgh do?’ might be a useful question at certain points.

Although the answer might be ‘Boss everyone about, boast about your own non-piano playing, tell people what type to marry, and leave all social situations snapping ‘I take no leave of your mother!’

Oh no I've never travelled in kilometres

I've rewatched them all* over the Xmas break @MrsNandortheRelentless, what an absolute gift Caroline Aherne was!

*not the Queen of sheba, cos it breaks me.

I've enjoyed the martyr scale on this thread, with me at the upper end, and at the other end, people charging friends for car journeys and faking illnesses for 4 weeks 🤣

All valid points though, however I still want a me!

It’s ok, the sat nav lady will help you.
No idea how she knows where to go but she will get you to the Pearl of Prestatyn in a jiffy.

Enjoy your holiday. (Without a chip pan)

Absolutely LOVE the Royals!

I’m afraid I can’t give any Royle references as I’ve not seen it. However, I wanted to say that you do have a ‘you’ in your life. It’s you! You just need to redirect your energy to yourself and job’s a good ‘un.

Actually, I would totally wear that t-shirt. And one that said ‘You have delighted us long enough.’

There could be a maternity T-shirt with ‘expectation of a young olive branch’ on the front.

I feel like I'm Barbara Royle, surrounded by Jims. 😆

OP, I can’t drive either, so I’m more of a Denise. I couldn’t even give your Nana a lift home on the back of a moped.

This is a slightly different angle on this but I’ve felt like this my whole life so I decided to literally live every day being the person I needed if that makes sense. I remember when my brother hit his teens (my mum and dad don’t deal with things well, Co dependent, stately homes type) I told him I was there for anything he needed, no judgement, no consequences etc and he turned to me in his little 13 year old wisdom and said ‘you’re being the person you needed in your life.’ Ah it knocked me for 6!

The boasting about my own non piano playing is where my name comes from - everyone else in my family plays piano to a high level except me, but I would have been a delightful performer if I had played.

OP, what you need is a Nessa in your life. Someone to say, 'Oi, Maureen. She is not going to add your Pringles to 'er Tesco delivery and that's 'er final word, orright?'

This is me!! It’s worse in a relationship (I’m married) as you do everything for them.

Part of it is personality, I hate the reliance on me but equally I can’t stop myself. I NEED TO HELP

Well, if you want to stop, you’ve already taken the first step in recognising that it’s a choice you’re making because ‘needing to help’ fulfils an emotional need in you. That’s already huge.

The vast majority of people-pleasers on here think that entitled, selfish other people (‘cheeky fuckers’) somehow make them bustle around after them helping, without recognising that they also contribute to the dynamic, and that this is usually because they are (often unconsciously) trying to buy friendship/liking by trading it for services.

Very true @HarpyRampant . I recognise myself in this.

Jeez, that sentence right there has taken the wind out me.

You ignore an elderly neighbour who wants to talk... wow

I am absolutely stealing your #bemoredenise OP, II will mutter to myself every morning.

· SweetPalToday 08:39*

OP, what you need is a Nessa in your life. Someone to say, 'Oi, Maureen. She is not going to add your Pringles to 'er Tesco delivery and that's 'er final word, orright?'

I absolutely LOVE this!! Love it!!