Do you still fancy/crush/lust after menopause

[MistletoeHolly]

This is just a general question. After speaking with my friend who is 60, she said that it is very very rare she finds any men fanciable since hitting late 50s. She’s married so she still wants her husband in that way but she said if they divorced, she wouldn’t be bothered about another man cause she doesn’t get those ‘crushy-type’ feelings now. Plus most men want younger and she’s not attracted to men 10 years plus of her age.

im younger than her, a lot younger but I can’t imagine never feeling that spark you get from mutual attraction. If you’re around this age, did you find after the menopause you stopped having these types of feelings for men?

I can still appreciate a good looking or otherwise attractive man but definitely not interested in anything else. Over 60 btw.

I find the perimenopause has put a stop to my random crushes/fancying of men. I mean I love my husband but it was quite nice to occasionally find someone else attractive and have a little daydream. Probably hormones diminishing.

If we divorced I’d struggle to be arsed to date but maybe you get it back. I don’t think everyone feels this way though.

Oh I’m only 48 and this has happened in the last year or so. Not in menopause.

When I got divorced age 50 I thought I would never be attracted to a man ever again. Until I met someone I liked and all the feelings were there as normal. In fact more so!

Completely gone I’m afraid! Post menopausal here, I can look at a man and appreciate his good looks but absolutely no crush or lustful feelings whatsoever.

Interesting. I'm fully in peri and get this. To be honest, I'm finding it's a relief not to be bothered about it anymore, I'm much less restless and it's helping me to focus on my relationship with my OH. Isn't there a saying about women of a certain age either turn to religion or gardening? Sounds alright to me 😄

Oh gosh absolutely not. If anything, since 60 I appreciate a lovely twinkly-eyed man more than ever! Perhaps because I feel safe in the knowledge that I can window shop with impunity. Also I think guys flirt with me because I’m ancient and so that’s allowed. Love it!

Quite the opposite. I’m 59 and having the best sex of my life with someone who gives me butterflies just be looking at me. I’d previously been celibate for 15 years so you never know what round the corner!

I would say it’s not particularly menopause that affects your feelings of attraction/lust but your circumstances. After years of marriage the lustful feelings will often fade but put someone new on the scene and the feelings come rushing back. That is definitely what happened to me.

Bloody hell I'm old not dead

Ooh yes! My hormones are but a distant memory but I come over all unnecessary when I see Claes Bang in anything. Real gentlemen on the street not so much.

Yeah still get the odd crush/lust moment but nothing absolutely nothing like I used to get pre menopause.

i would add that whether you have vaginal atrophy makes a big physical difference to your sex life

Not a flutter, but I lost my faith in men long ago and am happy not to have anyone occupying the guest side of my king-sized bed. It's bliss.

A friend of mine (60) has been divorced & busy with family for some years & really wasn't fussed. She's recently met someone & says it's like being a teenager again.

I find it a bit of a relief on the whole. Was a little distracting and I would develop random crushes which I knew I could never act on. Now I can feel like I’m more at peace in my relationship with DH.

I’m 52 and have been divorced 10 years.
I can’t say I’m attracted to blokes over 50. None of us are getting better looking as we age! I’m not interested in a toy boy either.

I didn’t imagine myself growing old alone, but I guess that’s what’s going to happen. After a decade on my own (bar one or three short lived relationships from on line dating) I think I’m coming to terms with it.

I do miss sex, but I don’t miss sharing a bed. I do miss having a partner to go out and do things with, but I’ll never relinquish the remote control and I love having my own peaceful home.

I have an active social life and a busy home life with my teenage kids and a demanding career as well .

I wouldn’t just drop everything for the first fella that came along, in fact I would be suspicious of his motives.

Aged 60, and menopause seems to have cured me of lust. I mean I can still look at Tom Hardy and think ooh he's lovely, but to be honest I don't think I could be arsed with a new relationship now, or even a quick fling, even with someone really perfect. I certainly wouldn't get married again.

I'm post menopause at 50. No crushes or desire for. Tbh the last 10 years I've been this way. Couldn't give a fig and I'm not worrying.

My interest in attractive men is purely aesthetic these days. I really can’t imagine looking at any man and wanting to get jiggly with him.

Thinking about it now, it all seems a bit ridiculous. All that wasted energy and head space, I could've been learning a language or playing the stock market instead of lusting after men who all snore and put crumbs in the butter.

I'm 52 and just beginning menopause/perimenopause and I rarely come across men around my age (dateable) that do anything for me. They say men start looking better when they get older but I rarely find men mid 40s and older that attractive so I never lust after any of them.

What Nursiebirder says above.
Not at all. I’ve spent my life living as a mouse, going unnoticed in the world, but now that I’m an obese pensioner it’s puzzling the incidental sparkle and interest…
Elite sportsmen in lycra side-eyeing me up in a bar abroad (very amusing), a charming male swimmer at the pool yesterday offered me his autograph and asked where I would like it (on paper would be just fine), a German chap told me I had an athletic body (laughable)….
Also I did go a bit odd when I accidentally overdosed on the testosterone gel as part of HRT one time - limerence I think they call it (on a once very close male friend….)
But as someone says upthread, no one is sharing the other side of my king-sized bed.

Lol at this, but so bloody true!!

After seeing Midnight Oil in concert in '22, I rekindled my crush on Peter Garrett , and having recently watched Good Omens again, Crowley (nor David T) is making me feel a bit hot under the collar.
I'm mid 50s and menopausal.

Nope. I’m 48 and no sex drive, no lusting and no crushing.
Not everyone is the same, but menopause has killed my interest in sex.