Do you still fancy/crush/lust after menopause

[MistletoeHolly]

This is just a general question. After speaking with my friend who is 60, she said that it is very very rare she finds any men fanciable since hitting late 50s. She’s married so she still wants her husband in that way but she said if they divorced, she wouldn’t be bothered about another man cause she doesn’t get those ‘crushy-type’ feelings now. Plus most men want younger and she’s not attracted to men 10 years plus of her age.

im younger than her, a lot younger but I can’t imagine never feeling that spark you get from mutual attraction. If you’re around this age, did you find after the menopause you stopped having these types of feelings for men?

I'm mid 50s post menopausal and find much older dh attractive. Active sex life. But I just said to a friend recently if he goes first I don't think I'll bother. We're totally in love. But I just can't imagine anyone would come close.
I have lots of friends and interests. But we're so close it would be devastating. Same for him.

I know lots of women in their 50s amd older who aren't bothered about men.

You're my inspiration! Hope this is me in 10 years...or sooner. Happy to not care just now but I did love being in love a few years ago and was so sad it didn't work out.

No. Possibly due to lack of working ovaries which were the driver for this sort of thing.

52 and post meno. It has diminished a bit but that’s from a height because my mid to late 40s were lust central!!! My hormones went crazy on the last chance saloon I think and my DH was run ragged. 😳

Yes. Late 50s. HRT helps enormously.

I'm post menopausal and still swinging from the chandelier with my husband.
Yes, I still fancy other men too. Husband says I'm like that Harry Enfield old lady who rubs her thighs while saying ' ooh, young man '
Well yes, eye candy is eye candy regardless of my age.

All gone for me too! I m glad to be honest.

I’m 52, 6 years post menopause . I appreciate a good looking man of course but no I don’t get “crusty” type feeling no. But then the last time I felt like that was 30 years ago when I first met my husband! If something happened to my husband there’s absolutely no way I’d get together with anyone else. I have zero interest in men.

Menopause totally killed my sex drive and I've been single since DP died 3years ago. When DD and I went to see Mike and the Mechanics I did rather get the hots for Andrew Roachford. Mind you if I had the chance to actually do anything about it that might be a different matter!😀

My libido didn't change at all during or after the menopause.

If I notice I frame it differently - I tend to think "he's cute" and my very next thought is immediately to note "young enough to be my son"!
So I register it in a distant kind of way.
A good example of the object of such thoughts is the actor/singer Johnny Flynn who I think is completely adorable!

62 and been post menopausal since 51. Perimenopausal was a challenge with dryness and flushes but since then definitely hot to trot. Helps that DH is a dish!

Very envious of those still swinging. I couldn't even manage a canestan pessary recently it was so painful. So no the sparkle has gone

@Delatron Exactly. My 'restlessness' for want of a better word got me in a lot of trouble in earlier life. I'm not dead from the waist down or anything but I can at least stop yearning for some perfect man that doesn't exist and keep one foot out of the door all the time. I don't think relationships have to be reliant on endless passion - not for me anyhow. Its much more complex than that and more about finding someone I can get on with in everyday life.

Completely agree @CheerfulBunny I feel more at peace now and happier for the long haul with DH.

Also behaved badly in my younger life pre marriage so maybe it’s just all out of my system now.

Sounds bizarre but I was always worried I’d end up having an affair (I didn’t) and now I feel there’s zero chance of that.

Jason Momoa, yes.

Yer man round the corner, no.

Yep, but as another poster said, it then registers how young he is!

Do I look at men my age and think phwoar? No, but that's generally because those who are still attractive clearly work hard at it, and I've never been into preening, vain men, so that rules them out.

Yup, same. I had a total hysterectomy at 40 and libido disappeared overnight unfortunately due to surgical menopause. I think my DH is handsome and I love him dearly but no flutters.

I expect this will happen to me because I pretty much only want sex when I'm ovulating.

I (56) looked for other compatibility in my current DP, rather than just fancying him. Sexual spark used to be essential. Like a pp I can look at men and acknowledge that they are attractive, but once upon a time I couldn't have watched Tom Hardy in Taboo without wanting a shag. That now doesn't happen. I've always flirted, now wouldn't want to. The lust has gone.

I’m 55 and been single 4 years. If I met someone I would definitely be up for plenty of sex but I’ve not found anyone in the time I’ve been on my own that gives me that spark.

I did date a guy briefly and there was a mutual connection however, he wasn’t physically able to have full sex so it didn’t continue.

So while I still have a sex drive I’m much more choosy these days with regards attraction.

Yes, absolutely me too. I came on to say the same thing. I'm very hormone driven. In the week or so leading up to ovulation, I tire my dh out, but after that I have no interest whatsoever. This is in my 40s. When I was younger it wasn't the case. But I'm a little worried about it. Does HRT help with sex drive?

I'm 51, I used to absolutely love having a little crush on somebody. Not in a "I'm going to act on this" way but just a distant daydream sort of way.
Now though, it doesn't happen.
My last two crushes were 2019 and 2020 and were quite rare by then.
Nothing in the 3 years since the last one fizzled out.

Perimenopause and on HRT and don't have any libido or crushes at the moment. I always intended to date (going through divorce, stbEXH is not as keen so dragging out the proceedings) but I've put it off repeatedly and recently it has occurred to me that I don't need to have another relationship at all.

Though I've had three instances of male interest in the past month (must be my new perfume!) all very much unwanted.

None for me. My DH isn’t bothered either nowadays and said he can’t even be bothered having a wank anymore! We agreed on a sexless relationship a few years ago and it has worked out well. We still hug and are tactile but I feel like my shagging days are over and I’m not fussed one bit. He doesn’t seem to be either although I don’t think Citalopram helps him with that. We are 57/60.