School confiscating phone

[Whatshouldmynamebe321]

AIBU to think secondary school should not keep confiscated mobile phone overnight?

12 year old dd walks home alone and school had confiscated her phone during the day (this I fully support as discipline for breaching rules).
But they refused to return at end of day unless a parent collects it.

I'm a single parent and work fulltime, so unavailable during school opening hours to collect it. I feel very upset the school see fit to send her off on a lone walk home without it. I was oblivious, at work assuming she has the device to call for help if there was an emergency. We don't have a landline so, it remains her only method of communication if a disaster happened at home.

Do other schools do this?
I don't understand the logic of it having to be returned to a parent. Surely most parents work and are unable to collect before the school closes which is about 4pm.

hopefully your child will now learn to follow the rules. Be angry with them not the school.

Great plan.

👍

Support the school. Let your child know that it’s a big inconvenience and not to do it again. I’m sure your child will be safe without the phone overnight.

This is the kind of sloppy parenting that leads to a generation of ‘I do what I want’.
Theres free access to alcohol and drugs in uni/work too, shall we just give them access to that in school too?

The school rule is no phones, and it’s that way because they’re a massive distraction to both the child in question and their peers.

The OP being a single parent who works isn’t the school’s problem - don’t break the rules and it’s a non-issue.

DS' school doesn't allow phones at all. If one is seen or known about they confiscate until a parent collects it. It's a bit of a pain but actually she has managed fine without it to and from school. Her arranging to meet friends is a bit difficult but she's worked round it.

It's the school we signed up for so we accept it. School believes the ban has helped with bullying by social media etc

Hoping this is sarcasm, or this is the most stupid post yet.
Theft is the intention to permanently deprive when this clearly isn’t the case - hopefully the police fine anyone daft to try this for wasting police time.

I do feel a little sorry for todays kids. Even as an adult knowing the rules I fuck up occasionally, even when meaning we’ll. my head does elsewhere. When I look around me other adults do it even more, get phones out in swimming pools or children’s centres under big signs.
It’s difficult 6 hours a day not to ever slip. I remember some of my sons friends were really good kids, but they often had demotions for no PE kit kind of stuff. They’d do something like leave a second bag on a bus, forget to replace a top from the washing. We’ve all done it. They’d be so upset, and the detentions didn’t inspire them to be perfect either. They got more next time they did something like the bus was late and they ran in with a coat in trying to be on time, or they hadn’t silenced a phone their mum called them on to check they were ok after knowing they’d been dropped off late by her. They started school with nice attitudes, but a few did harden (particularly one with ADHD and no support). Gave up and got surly and developed an attitude towards the system

Stress you are a working single parent so can't collect and they are putting DD in danger.

They definitely won't have heard that before.

The whole point is that it's inconvenient.

Your post has no suggestions of what the OP should do about her dd causing this problem in the first place. Just how mummy can fix it.

An interesting one. Not sure what our schools policy is but my dd would have to stay in school until I could get there if they refused to return her phone... as that is where her bus pass home is! (Along with about half the school who use the same service.)

Of course it was, I've posted numerous times.

AIBU to think secondary school should not keep confiscated mobile phone overnight?

I was answering the op’s question. I don’t think schools should keep phones overnight. My opinion is as relevant as anyone else’s.

@MirrorBack ,

But detention isn’t really a harsh punishment, especially when used well.

Often a teacher will help a badly organised pupil organise themselves or let them get on with homework in a calm class room.

Children hate it but it actually helps them.

And losing a phone for the day again helps focus and can actually be calming.

@quisensoucie I don't get what you mean. The phone boxes of my youth generally all worked so if you needed to phone home to say you had missed the bus/wanted to go to the library in town/round your mates house you could (all for about 10p 😂).
Now those boxes are gone.
Modern children have no way of phoning home unless they have a mobile.
In fact I have just remembered there was even a pay phone within the reception area you could use - I doubt that's there now.

Phones are an absolute pain in the arse in the school environment. At our school kids put them in a safe in their form rooms at registration and get them back after the bell goes at home time. Cuts out all this crap.

Maybe blame your child instead of the school

Modern children have no way of phoning home unless they have a mobile.

My dc both know my mobile number and have asked a friend to use their phone when their battery has died.

At school they can go to various places and ask a staff member to contact a parent.

Detentions don’t cure ADHD, learning needs or other Sen. They don’t change parents who don’t provide support such as actually buying the equipment or enabling the child to live an organised life.
When my son, we moved areas, had to attend one of these super tough schools for a bit it was always the majority of these kind of kids getting in trouble and ending up in a loop downward. The same minority were kids with no Sen and signs of being well cared for (nice bag, clean, hair cut, appropriate clothes etc)

And we wonder why teachers hate their jobs now.

Phones are at the centre of everything at school: bullying, sexting, nudes, grooming (child on child), fights (filmed in phones) etc

Kids who have no phone limits at home are so addicted that we can barely get them to look at their books or stop checking them every ten seconds. It is a problem.

Look, I get it. Phone are a massive help to parents. But they are also the root of 99% of problems in schools at the moment. Every anxiety/friendships/ bullying/ staff issue can be linked back to phone usage.

I would have them all disappear. Even my own. Just go away and never come back. I imagine we’d see a massive change in the kids almost immediately. Because it is either what they see on their phones that it making them so violent, selfish, destructive angry and sad. Or this generation of parents is teaching them to be that way.

Exactly this!

@NightisdarkandfullofterrorsGOT 'I’d contact the police and tell them the phone I bought for my child has been stolen. This is totally unacceptable.'

And the school would show them the standard policy that you signed up to when your child joined the school.

Do you really think the police have time to waste on such indulgent nonsense?

Great post @Ratsoffasinkingsauage

No parent wants their child filmed at school and the footage circulated on Snapchat but they also don't want us to confiscate phones.

I guess I feel sorry for kids today. I remember being a well intentioned and frightened child early in secondary school, but I got suspended early in year 8 the first time.
I remember well the last offence. It was snowing but boots weren’t allowed. My mum made me wear boots, she actually screamed at me, threw my shoes in the garage and told me in snow I walked in boots. That was that. She took no crap and didn’t listen to English school ‘madness’. I cried in the street I think knowing where it was going , that made me late. I was late, with another uniform breach. On top of having the wrong skirt for half a term. On top of a genuine difficulty with organising myself (I was diagnosed as an adult) and a poor ability to filter mixed messages correctly. Eg actually answering factually things like ‘are you going to stand there all day’ when I spaced out a bit.
I gave up in later school and stopped trying to please do much. It reduced the stress and shame being a ‘bad kid’ rather than feeling stupid. I got funnily no more detentions in comparison really. My grades were better as I wasn’t too stressed to listen and I did well in the end, if mouthy

Dd wouldn't be able to get home without her phone as the bus pass is digital only - they stopped using cards for it, and before you ask no she couldn't walk - it's about 10 miles with no pavements and a small section of motorway, they'd have to keep dd too until they could get hold of me and I'd arranged cover so that I could collect her

I’m with you entirely. Phones are here to stay whether we like them or not. I don’t like the addiction / dependence on them, but I’m as guilty as anyone else. One workplace tried to make us put our phones in the safe while the managers kept theirs. 😆