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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To question the grandparents over sickness...

30 replies

Ahbegyuhpardun · 09/01/2024 20:55

So my MIL has my 1 year old twice a week for me to work. My eldest is in school and she takes and picks him up too and drops him to us straight after the school run so my husband finishes working from home at 4, (I work until 6 out of home).
They also have their other grandchildren living with them half of the week with my DH's brother, as he lives there too since his split with their mum. They're in their tweens.
I got a phone call tonight asking if my kids wanted to go back down theirs for tea after the school run tomorrow, as they'll have the other grandchildren there too. Although one of them has norovirus and was sent home from school ill today and has been feeling unwell since Sunday.

Would you avoid it because you know one of the kids has norovirus? And has recently been ill? I feel unreasonable asking details of when they were ill and then declining the invite because I know I'll be seen as finicky.

But truth be told, I have an exam next week I really don't want to be ill for or have to spend the run up to it looking after my poorly kids instead of revising.

I'm still sending my kids to school etc but I feel it's different than actually sending them to a house you know someone is sick in, and probably won't stay in their room.

That also brings the question of whether I send my youngest there tomorrow too, because he's just finished a round of antibiotics and has been poorly. So I don't really want him catching a sick bug straight off the back of it as his tummy's still upset from the medication.

I know I'll be seen as the difficult one. And my husband is quite keen they don't go but won't speak to them about it (even though they're his parents).

I'm torn. I don't want to make a big deal but I also feel if you KNOW they're ill surely you avoid them?

OP posts:
Gazelda · 09/01/2024 21:08

I think you'd be foolish to send them if one of the other kids has norovirus. The chances are the other child will develop it over the next day or two too.

No need to make a fuss about it though. Just say that you'd rather not send the DC there when their cousins are poorly. Why not suggest the next week so that the cousins can spend some time together.

WDKYMYS · 09/01/2024 21:13

Noro virus is so contagious if you send them over you can guarantee your DC will catch it, it’s highly unlikely they won’t catch it.

Ratfinkstinkypink · 09/01/2024 21:17

I wouldn't be sending them, norovirus is highly contagious and I especially wouldn't send the one who's been on antibiotics because they wipe out the bad bacteria but they can reduce immunity at the same time.

magicscares · 09/01/2024 21:20

No way would I knowingly expose my children to any sickness bugs. Noro is awful, poor things would be exhausted & sleep deprived.

Ahbegyuhpardun · 09/01/2024 21:26

Thanks. I'm assuming it's norovirus because I know that's going about locally at the moment and they've said that my niece is sick, and that they themselves have bad stomachs but nothings happened yet.
So they're carrying on as normal. But we've heard of lots of people being really poorly with stomach upsets over Christmas so pretty sure it's norovirus. Especially if she's been ill for a few days.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 09/01/2024 21:28

No, noro is one bug I'll go out of my way to swerve and don't care who thinks it's stupid. Nope nope nope.

PollyPut · 09/01/2024 21:30

I think it's pretty obvious that you don't send your children. And it shouldn't be a problem, I would think Grandparents would understand

Squeaky2023 · 09/01/2024 21:40

Sudden dentist or doctor's appointment or play date.
Don't go.

Noooooooope · 09/01/2024 21:47

Absolutely not!!

honeyfox · 09/01/2024 21:54

Please don't. I had Noro once and I lost half a stone in a couple of days. Don't mess around with it.

DisappearingGirl · 09/01/2024 21:57

I can't believe they will think you are finicky for not wanting to send your kids to a house with norovirus!!

Beach87 · 09/01/2024 22:09

No way would I send my child to a house where someone had norovirus; just not worth the risk

hellsBells246 · 09/01/2024 22:20

How do you know the sickness bug us actually norovirus?? Has it been diagnosed? It's usually just a regular sick bug.

But no, for goodness sake, don't send your dc there.

keojam80 · 09/01/2024 22:22

You're over thinking. Screw what anyone
Else thinks. Please do not send your children to a house where there are people with nurovirus! Absolutely grim. They shouldn't even be there. Guaranteed the grandparents will get it now.

I hate when someone comes over with as much as a cold. I do not want anyone's manky germs.

CaspianPlover · 09/01/2024 22:36

Ye Gods.. your poor In-laws.. they must be worked to the bone.. I feel so sorry for them. Grand Children should be a joy not a chore.

Itslegitimatesalvage · 09/01/2024 22:39

Obviously you don’t send them. You’re a parent, you should have to check this with strangers on the internet.

PeloMom · 09/01/2024 22:39

You are being unreasonable doubting yourself so much and being so concerned what they may think. Don’t send your kids

PriOn1 · 09/01/2024 22:46

hellsBells246 · 09/01/2024 22:20

How do you know the sickness bug us actually norovirus?? Has it been diagnosed? It's usually just a regular sick bug.

But no, for goodness sake, don't send your dc there.

Norovirus is one of the most common sickness bugs. There are various strains, some worse than others.

Hairspray123 · 09/01/2024 22:48

Sorry but I think YABU even considering sending them if there is another option. Why would you activly choose to send your child to a house that you know has a sickness bug, its not just a bit of a sniffle, its throwing up and diarreah that will deplete them of all their energy and not only that will spread through your house like wildfire most likely taking you all down with it! If absolutely necessary and they had to go then fine you have no choice but a playdate is just crazy and selfish. 100% stay away!

fishfingersandtoes · 09/01/2024 22:50

Nope. No way would I send them. No need to be funny about it just say you don't want to send them over while cousins are sick, norovirus is really really contagious.
And make sure you're really thankful for all the childcare they do the rest of the time!

fishfingersandtoes · 09/01/2024 22:52

Also, poor grandparents as they are likely to get it too.

Snoozymoozy · 09/01/2024 23:04

Hell no! I wouldn't send my kids if you paid me to

allhailthebrain · 09/01/2024 23:08

Not unreasonable at all - but wouldn't it just be an awful lot easier to be "busy" tomorrow evening...? Swerve the drama you fear it may cause.

And if the youngest were perhaps under the weather tomorrow and better off staying at home....

NoCloudsAllowed · 09/01/2024 23:09

No chance. Why would you put your kids through illness if you don't have to, let alone your exams?

Your IL sound like saints though!

Underpaidsnackbitch · 09/01/2024 23:14

Absolutely no chance mine would be going anywhere near the place, plus your poor IL's must be absolutely shattered from being ill and having a sick child to deal with. I'd take the day off (or get DH to) if at all possible