If I look at the core of every problem in my life - it's always on me

[pillowtv]

Everything comes down to me being just a bit shit.

Can you help me unpick this ?

• I'm overweight, because I'm lazy and can't eat right

• I am struggling at work, because I just want to chill and don't want to work

• I ship my kids to nursery, so I can chill a bit and pretend to work / work a bit

• I don't always cook great meals for them, because I'm lazy

• I don't play with them enough, because I'm lazy and a bit shit

• most of the time, I just want to chill and sleep, but I have to do lots of things every day and just feel so tired. Others do lots too, but it wipes me out

• I don't want to spend time with my husband, because I'm selfish and lazy and just think of myself

I just feel like in every aspect of life, I'm just a bit shit and lazy and lacking of organisation. It all comes down to that really.

I really can't see anything positive about myself and how I behave. Interpersonal relationships - I always find something horrible to think about people- everyone annoys me in some way. Usually I feel like they think they're better than me and this annoys me.

How do I get out of this rubbish cycle of just being shit ??

Thanks . I find it really hard to accept that it's the MS. Maybe it's a denial thing. I seem to rather want to blame myself.

I only know one person with MS and they are on anti-depressants because of it. I recommend talking to a health professional, whoever you think will be most helpful.

I also think of myself as lazy on bad days but on good days, I think I'm just a clever person who realises that going out to play with the kids in the sun or snow is more important than doing the dishes!

It really does sound like it's the ms plus you're working and raising a family. Most of us struggling even without health complications.
But, it's also fine if you're annoyed with yourself and blame yourself because you could do a bit more.
If that's the case, then prioritise your health and spending more time with your dc and dh.

@pillowtv my point stands whether your fatigue is due to MS or it isn't. 'I don't have energy for xxx' is true either way. So don't let your unwillingness for it to be because of MS stop you from having some compassion for yourself. Or if that's too hard, from just seeing what is and isn't doable energy-wise.

@pillowtv habitual self-blame can be psychologically crippling, but it is possible to change, if you want to. Maybe the first step is just being willing to try on the new idea that the beliefs you hold about yourself are just that - beliefs - and not truths.

I could have written this! 😛

I think you should invest in a PT or coach. Regular exercise and eating well will probably help with weight loss, but more importantly will give you more energy, which will have a positive knock on effect in all the other areas of your life. If you’re meal prepping to help you eat well then your kids will also have healthy meals, your focus will improve which should help at work, and you’ll feel better in yourself which should help with your confidence and improve your interpersonal relationships.

Eating well and exercising can be difficult without support and accountability so I recommend getting a PT or coach.

Your mind and your body are the only places you will ever live, so it’s worth investing in yourself and your well-being. Good luck!

You need to stop being so hard on yourself.Think of some positives.i bet there are loads!

I managed to get them to nursery on time today 😂

I've cooked a healthy meal and the house is clean and tidy.

All good achievements based on your circumstances!

You need to retrain yourself and really start to value yourself. You deserve that.

Your last post is very positive, that's great.
How about treating yourself to some relaxation time, doing what ever you want, hot bath, or a nice cup of tea in front of the TV.

No wonder you were tired after hosting Christmas and having sick children. It's understandable.

How are your boundaries about saying no to things that will be too much ?
I'd suggest no more hosting for a start.

Hosting sucks !! It was such hard work.

I had quite a hard time picking up the kids from nursery tonight. It involves a bit of a walk and the little one is currently refusing to hold my hand.

The older one didn't want to leave and had a tantrum. Cue both of them screaming and crying.
I somehow had to force them in the car. I'm sure we all know what that's like.

I have a big presentation tomorrow I'm not really ready for and worrying about. So it might be a late one tonight or a very early start tomorrow.

Work is so high pressure at the moment, it's hard to take.