Is it realistic to go to uni with 2 young children or AIBU

[Sprinklerainbows]

I am desperate to go to uni to become a midwife.
has anyone done this with 2 children?

I have a lovely supportive husband. He doesn’t have a super high wage but I think we would be okay financially- it might be a bit of a struggle with childcare though?

My baby is 8 months old and I wouldn’t want to start until she’s 2 and my eldest would be 5. I really hope it’s doable… I’m reluctant to wait much longer than this amount of time due to my age etc and I’d like a long career. (I’ve worked in healthcare for nearly 10 years but have always wanted to be a midwife)

If you’ve had experience with uni and children I’d love to hear the realities

Well I just completed a full time Social Work Degree with a full time job, DS was 20mths when I started it and DD was born half way through it (I had to take a year out). I'm also 45 so completely knackered! Lol. (Not to mention the Pandemic in the middle too)
So yes - definitely doable, if you're determined enough.

I did it with 2 who were under 3 and I was a single parent with absolutely no support. I didn't need to do shift work though which I believe you would have to do with midwifery.

Do it! Mine are teens so I'm doing my course at the same time!

(From home, I hasten to add...)

@MaryShelley1818 wow congratulations that’s amazing! That’s very inspiring to know you managed a tough degree in very challenging circumstances. I feel like people are quick to put you off these things, I’ve had people say very negative things which made me question if I was being realistic/ selfish

@Notanotherbasketofwashing that’s fabulous!!! Well done you, what degree did you do may I ask? X

@Hipnotised thats great! Love to hear people are also doing degrees slightly later on in life. Are you doing open university?

I don't think training as a midwife with tiny children is very realistic. Do you currently work shifts?

I only have 1 but I am a single parent. I started my midwifery degree when he’d just turned 3. I qualify this summer!
It's been very hard but with family support it’s doable. Go for it!

I went when my youngest of 4 was 2. Normally universities have good childcare options.

@quarrelmerchant I’m on maternity leave but i have worked 12h shifts both with my son and during my pregnancies. Hard but doable with support (I know it’s slightly different with placement where you aren’t in control of when/where you’ll be etc)

I did it with well more children than two (but not midwifery). With midwifery you'd just need to make sure you have reliable care for your children when doing placements.

I went to uni and did a four year course when my DC were 6 and 9. You have to be organised but it’s quite doable.

A friend of mine did this - it’s doable as long as you have childcare for the shift work during placements

Do it. Do it. Do it.

I (43 now) started my undergraduate degree in 2019. DS1 was 15 months. I was pregnant with DS2. Gave birth to DS2 mid degree. Graduated with 1st Class Hons.

Started masters straight after.

Graduated September with a Distinction.

It can be done! But you need a supportive family, you will need to give up family time (to an extent), and you need resilience in buckets.

My finest achievement I think.

Go for it. I did it when my DC were toddlers and I had 3 of them. I then did a masters and PhD and have been a lecturer for the past 3 years, did the last year of my PhD whilst I had a toddler and was pregnant during the pandemic as well!

You have to be mega organised and it will of course be far more stressful than it is for standard aged students with no experience. Absolutely love my mature students, I don’t get many of them but they’re always so organised, bright and just brilliant.

I wouldn't bother. No way can you be going to uni and training as a midwife with 2 young children. Just not gonna happen.

If you are 'so desperate to become a midwife' - then why are you only deciding to do it now? Why not before you had children @Sprinklerainbows ?

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Yes - really recommend it.

Yea you can do it. I’m doing it at the moment with more kids then you. I do a blended course where lectures are mainly online so I can watch them at home in between school runs and house work. I have to do 2 shifts at the hospital a week along side this. There is another student with two under 3 and she is struggling a bit. My last mentor managed to do it with a newborn.

@FreshWinterMorning sounds like others have managed it!
and I went down a different path after school, eventually found my love for healthcare and then after pregnancy decided midwifery is exactly what I want to do

Do it. I'm doing a masters with one child and it's totally fine. I also worked full time in a clinical setting and involve myself in all sorts of nonsense as well. (Volunteer roles etc)
As for a healthcare degree, you'll not be alone being a mature student with kids. I'm now a lecturer in a healthcare degree full time.
My advice? Be organised and protective of your time to do your coursework. I'd suggest doing work at the university library rather than at home, too easy to get distracted. Make a good relationship with your personal tutor, and your peers. Engage with the uni at all times. Take all the support you can.
The hardest thing would be placement, but if you have good, reliable childcare it is manageable.
We value people with life experience in healthcare.
A good partner is essential as well. That's great he's on board.
Also. The one thing that sticks with me is the saying: "Do it, the time will pass anyway."
What an amazing example to set you children. My daughter tells me she's so proud of me, even when I feel I've been a bit MIA!

Oooh @FreshWinterMorning sounds a bit bitter there.
Lots of people in healthcare degrees are mature students and have children. Particularly in midwifery. I personally feel a person who had had some life experience and possibly even children would actually be an asset in this case!
(Disclaimer, no hate to younger students in healthcare at all, they bring other, valuable experiences and skills! I was one!)

Have a look at the Childcare Allowance. https://cms.nhsbsa.nhs.uk/sites/default/files/2023-09/Help%20with%20childcare%20costs%20for%20NHS%20Bursary%20students%202023-24%20%28V1%29%2009.2023.pdf

i think if your DH is able do to the nursery/school run, it’s very doable.

Definitely go for it. I finished off a law degree by correspondence course with a tiny baby as a mature student working full time and went to Law School to do my LPC when he was 2/3

I started my social work degree when my oldest three were 5, 4 and 1. It was tough at times , placements were hard but not shifts of course like nursing and midwifery.
I graduated with a first. I think the key is to have support and good childcare in place.
Every belief in you OP 🌻

I did it. It’s not easy but it’s nowhere near impossible either. You need to be very organised and great with time
management. Having family support also helps but I never had that so it can be done.

Mine were 6 and 2, I did nursing (successfully!). Now they are teenagers and I’m doing my masters. It is absolutely possible and there are loads of people in the same position.
Good luck! 🍀