Is it realistic to go to uni with 2 young children or AIBU

[Sprinklerainbows]

I am desperate to go to uni to become a midwife.
has anyone done this with 2 children?

I have a lovely supportive husband. He doesn’t have a super high wage but I think we would be okay financially- it might be a bit of a struggle with childcare though?

My baby is 8 months old and I wouldn’t want to start until she’s 2 and my eldest would be 5. I really hope it’s doable… I’m reluctant to wait much longer than this amount of time due to my age etc and I’d like a long career. (I’ve worked in healthcare for nearly 10 years but have always wanted to be a midwife)

If you’ve had experience with uni and children I’d love to hear the realities

I completed a masters and continued to work with two primary aged children. Some of my colleagues had nursery aged children. It can be done, you just have to be super organised and prepared to survive on less sleep. A supportive partner who will pick up some of the slack is invaluable.

Mine were 1 (just), 4 and 6 when I started my midwifery.

Hard but doable. I did end up with a fair bit of extra time to make up, partly my own sickness (mental health and definitely course related....sorry) but partly kids sickness as I was the primary one missing shifts when dc were ill because of course dh was our only income. He takes his fair share more in working of course. Actually probably does more child related stuff than I do.

Anyway. I made it.

Might be worth investigating midwifery apprenticeships. It is likely that more will be available in coming years and this could be a great option for mature students to avoid so much debt!

www.rcm.org.uk/promoting/education-hub/apprenticeships/

If you can afford the lose of a wage and you have childcare in place to cover when you/Dh will be studying/working, yes. I did a PhD when I had a baby/toddler. But it was basically a job and my dc was in nursery on my ‘work’ days plus I did a bit extra evenings and weekends when Dh was home.

Thank you everyone this is very encouraging!

Best of luck@Sprinklerainbows
Hope you fulfill your dreams

I got on a midwifery course but couldn't do it due to the night shifts and my husbands job. I did go to Uni though, at 39, and did an education degree, then MA and I've just finished training in high intensity CBT. So I think higher education is totally possible, although really hard work!

ETA I had 3 small children when I started out on my education journey. Now have 3 not so small children!

Following for interest - would like to do a course or degree and have no idea how others do it. What would put me off, particular something so vocational and with nights shifts, would be the lack of family time.

I studied midwifery when my children were 2 and 9 months old. That was 20 years ago and I don’t remember those 3 years, it’s a complete blur and if it hadn’t been for lots of family support I’d have quit.

Midwifery in the NHS is very stressful but I’d never put anyone off.

@LoreleiG aw hope this thread can be of help!
I do worry about the too however I have worked in healthcare with my son and I saw him a lot compared to my other friends who worked full time with kids. 3 long days a week (one week of 4) but i felt like I had a good balance x

I went to uni for 4 years to train as a teacher when my 4 children were aged 2, 6, 8 and 10 and then did a further 2 years distance learning post grad course a few years later. I thoroughly enjoyed it and it led to a fulfilling career. I say go for it so long as you’re prepared to put in the hours of work and study and have your childcare organised. I didn’t regret it for a moment and would do the same all over again!

I started a degree with a 1 and 3 year old then did a PhD. It was doable - after having worked for 15 years before I had a much better and more efficient work ethic than most of my fellow 18-19 year old students! Found it fairly easy to meet assessment deadlines etc although developed the ability to work late into the night once the kids were asleep!

My friend did a midwifery degree with two primary aged children and she did really well and walked straight into a job on graduating.

Perfectly doable if you really want it.

I think it sounds ridiculously stressful tbh. If it was a “normal” degree it might be okay, but midwifery is normal degree PLUS shifts. It’s exhausting. Nights, weekends, Christmas Day, you won’t have a choice if a shift is scheduled for your kids first day or school, or nativity play. It’s horrendous. Don’t do it!

I went to Uni at 27, between kids 3 and 4.

I’d not really known what I wanted to do until then. I did an access course whilst pregnant, with a view to midwifery. Then, during my English Lit module I fell in love with the subject and did English Lang/Lit at degree instead.

I found being a parent gave me the incentive to keep going when it was hard, I wanted a decent standard of living and to be an example for them. I did it. My family have a history of learning later. My Mum trained as a nurse when I was 11, I had 3 younger siblings. My eldest daughter completed her degree and MA with a toddler.

It can be done, you just have to be motivated.

A couple of years ago DH had surgery and after the procedure, the surgeon came and sat with me to chat about how it went and we got to chatting about other things. She looked like she was about 20 but told me she had a 22 year old DD and she had done her degree, 4 years of medical school and multiple years of residency and surgical training all while being a single mum.

So yes, it is possible if you are determined and have support.

Loads of women do it with young children, you need good family support and I think it helps hugely if your partner is more 9-5, go for it !

Midwife here. I went to uni with a 5 and 3 year old.

Won't lie, it was really tough at times. I had to put my children into after school clubs which I felt guilty about (they loved it), couldn't always make school events and they went in holiday twice without me because my annual leave and the school holidays didn't match. Add to that trying to be mum, attend placements at all times of days, getting home to spend time with them and then writing essays into the early hours of the mornings so I could get everything done on the house and spend time with them etc. if you have a good support system it's better.

But taking them to my graduation and seeing them cheer me on made it worthwhile.

Full time Psychology student with a one year old and its definitley doable if you have good and reliable childcare in place. Dont make my mistake and let your partner look after your little one for one of the days only for him to decide he can no longer do it ending up with no space at the nursery for that day. I also dont get any help with childcare costs because my partner earns over the threshold so we get a bigger bill to pay each month but when you want something that much you should never let anything get in your way. Your husband will need to step up and help you with childcare and household responsibilities.