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AIBU?

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Original poster

I always keep my dc off school with a sore throat

139 replies

Responsiveness · 08/01/2024 19:26

Just reading latest government guidance regarding attendance- parents are being told to send children in even with a cough, cold symptoms or sore throat ? (But not to send with any symptoms of scarlet fever or chicken pox yet often a sore throat is a symptom of both these illnesses 🤦‍♀️)

I always keep mine off with sore throats ? They can be really painful even without a fever. I will continue to do so as well!

I can understand sending a child in with a tickly cough or runny nose etc but sore throats can be horrible not to mention for some dc with SEN especially ASD the sensory aspect of something like a sore throat and how it impacts eating and drinking / sound of voice/ the cold air in winter making it feel raw etc (my ds has ASD and has these issues every time)

AIBU to think that this latest advice isn’t going to help anyone ? It will just be kids in school feeling too unwell and distracted to learn or spreading germs !

OP posts:
Maxus · 08/01/2024 19:30

My child had scarlet fever. It's so much more than a sore throat you can tell the difference, imagine your child with a red bumpy tongue and white coating oozing out their mouth along with red cheeks andd you see the difference. My teen has had a cough for two weeks, still going strong. Yes he is back at school, it's GCSE year and he carnt afford to miss the time.

Merryoldgoat · 08/01/2024 19:31

I don’t send my kids in if I feel like they’re not well enough, regardless of the complaint.

Some sore throats will be ok to go to school, some not.

millymollymoomoo · 08/01/2024 19:31

I’d send mine in with a sore throat if no fever and they are otherwise well

mrsmalcolmreynolds · 08/01/2024 19:32

To me a sore throat isn't automatically more serious than any of those other symptoms- it could be a nasty one (in which case keep them off) but could be mild and no issue (in which case in they go).

TeenLifeMum · 08/01/2024 19:33

I work full time. My dc go to school unless they have a high temp or d&v. Sore throat - they take throat spray and strepsils. Same as me going to work.

SKG231 · 08/01/2024 19:33

You’re setting them up to be weak grown ups who will flake on responsibilities. Most of the time having a sore throat doesn’t stop you from daily life it’s just a mild inconvenience. Give them some soothers and suck it up. Literally.

AhBiscuits · 08/01/2024 19:34

No fever or sick then in they go.

Beezknees · 08/01/2024 19:34

My DS always went to school unless he had a temperature or D&V. Same for me with work.

Original poster
Responsiveness · 08/01/2024 19:35

SKG231 · 08/01/2024 19:33

You’re setting them up to be weak grown ups who will flake on responsibilities. Most of the time having a sore throat doesn’t stop you from daily life it’s just a mild inconvenience. Give them some soothers and suck it up. Literally.

They get really bad sore throats and are in a lot of pain, there’s nothing weak about knowing your own limitations and especially with having ASD they don’t need to mask that they feel ok when they don’t

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 08/01/2024 19:35

I'd send mine in if they had a mild cold or a bit of a sore throat. Parents are being precious if they're keeping their children off at the first sign of a cough or sniffle unless the child has underlying medical issues.

I'd not send them in if they were unwell and couldn't care less what school say. If they're unwell, they're staying off.

Isthisexpected · 08/01/2024 19:36

I'm with you OP. Hate the culture of carry on until you drop.

Singleandproud · 08/01/2024 19:36

You aren't keeping your son off just for a sore throat though, you are keeping him off because the sore throat exacerbates other aspects of his disability.

DD has autism, she gets dosed up with paracetamol and a single dose in her bag to take at lunch should she need it and sent on her way if she is low grade under the weather (same as I do for myself going to work) - I'll message her pastoral lead because often being under the weather makes her autism worse and she finds things harder to deal with so she'll be checked on during the day, offered a warm, quiet place to go during unstructured times.

Original poster
Responsiveness · 08/01/2024 19:36

Maxus · 08/01/2024 19:30

My child had scarlet fever. It's so much more than a sore throat you can tell the difference, imagine your child with a red bumpy tongue and white coating oozing out their mouth along with red cheeks andd you see the difference. My teen has had a cough for two weeks, still going strong. Yes he is back at school, it's GCSE year and he carnt afford to miss the time.

when mine had it they had a bad sore throat for a day before the fever and headache and rash came out on day 2/3 so it may present differently for each individual? If I’d sent them in they’d have been spreading it further so I was glad I kept them off with that initial sore throat

OP posts:
Benibidibici · 08/01/2024 19:37

Sore throats are very common and easily relieved - often you just need a drink or to rest your voice a bit.

The vast majority of people continue about their lives easily with one. If i let my kids off school with a sore throat they'd quickly learn to claim they had one every spellings test/sunny day/wet day/birthday/any other day they couldn't be arsed to go to school

Original poster
Responsiveness · 08/01/2024 19:38

Singleandproud · 08/01/2024 19:36

You aren't keeping your son off just for a sore throat though, you are keeping him off because the sore throat exacerbates other aspects of his disability.

DD has autism, she gets dosed up with paracetamol and a single dose in her bag to take at lunch should she need it and sent on her way if she is low grade under the weather (same as I do for myself going to work) - I'll message her pastoral lead because often being under the weather makes her autism worse and she finds things harder to deal with so she'll be checked on during the day, offered a warm, quiet place to go during unstructured times.

Edited

2 of my dc have ASD And the other doesn’t I apply the same to all 3 because they all really suffer with their throats it’s just one of those things I always keep them off for

OP posts:
thaegumathteth · 08/01/2024 19:38

Depends - Dd has had a sore throat and lost voice for a couple of weeks but is totally fine in herself so she's been at school (obvs holidays were on too)

She's also had scarlet fever where she drooled continuously and vomited endlessly.

If the kids are too unwell then they obviously stay at home. When they were really little (under 8) I kept them off if they seemed exhausted for example along with a sore throat but wouldn't now.

pizzaHeart · 08/01/2024 19:40

People feels differently with sore throat, it’s just one part of the picture. I never sent DD to school if she was unwell enough for her performance to be significantly affected.

Benibidibici · 08/01/2024 19:40

Do you work OP?

The only people i know who keep children off like this don't work out of the home and aren't really used to ever having to buck up and keep going when a bit under the weather.

QueenBodicea · 08/01/2024 19:40

I wondered about the latest advice too OP.
Sore throats can start off mild and within a few hours can be horrendous and can make you feel quite unwell.
I have one today and it definitely impacted my thinking processes as the day wore on. Now got headache too and pain around the eyes. Luckily I can work from home which makes it a bit easier as I don't have to expend energy commuting and talking to colleagues!

So I think it depends on the sore throat and parental intuition.

Allthingsdecember · 08/01/2024 19:40

I always had a sore throat as a child. Never really caught bugs but got every cold going around.

I think the advice to still send them in is sensible generally, (I would have missed sooo much school otherwise!), but obviously some children will suffer more for a variety of reasons that might make them an exception to this rule.

Syndulla · 08/01/2024 19:41

I've had sore throats that are mildly annoying and sore throats that are so painful I've been in tears.

I think most parents use their judgement as to whether or not to send a child in. D&V or a fever is an automatic day off but if they have general cold symptoms then it's just down to whether or not they are well enough for school. Some colds make you feel absolutely rotten, others can just be shrugged off.

dungaroo · 08/01/2024 19:41

I'm amazed the school hasn't picked you up on this

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 08/01/2024 19:43

It would never occur to me to keep a child at home with a sore throat. Just give them a packet of Lockets and get on with it.

Original poster
Responsiveness · 08/01/2024 19:43

dungaroo · 08/01/2024 19:41

I'm amazed the school hasn't picked you up on this

Oh they have - nothing came of it. I told them I’ll keep my dc off when they are unwell by my standards. They didn’t mention it again as the following week ds1 developed a sore throat during the school day and they saw first hand how much pain he was in

OP posts:
BananaSplitsss · 08/01/2024 19:43

SKG231 · 08/01/2024 19:33

You’re setting them up to be weak grown ups who will flake on responsibilities. Most of the time having a sore throat doesn’t stop you from daily life it’s just a mild inconvenience. Give them some soothers and suck it up. Literally.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

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