I always keep my dc off school with a sore throat

[Responsiveness]

Just reading latest government guidance regarding attendance- parents are being told to send children in even with a cough, cold symptoms or sore throat ? (But not to send with any symptoms of scarlet fever or chicken pox yet often a sore throat is a symptom of both these illnesses 🤦‍♀️)

I always keep mine off with sore throats ? They can be really painful even without a fever. I will continue to do so as well!

I can understand sending a child in with a tickly cough or runny nose etc but sore throats can be horrible not to mention for some dc with SEN especially ASD the sensory aspect of something like a sore throat and how it impacts eating and drinking / sound of voice/ the cold air in winter making it feel raw etc (my ds has ASD and has these issues every time)

AIBU to think that this latest advice isn’t going to help anyone ? It will just be kids in school feeling too unwell and distracted to learn or spreading germs !

This is the issue - people don’t think.

It’s a 13 week term. Thats about 14/15 days off. Absolutely loads but can easily happen with multiple kids in germy schools where attendance is all.

Mine was out for a full week for D&V, the HFM was another 4 days and a hospital visit for croup with viral nonsense was another 4.

What do you do? Send them in sick?

Its perfectly normal as well as any GP will concur.

Common sense- send child if they only have a mild sore throat, keep them off if they’re feeling dreadful.

Yes the gp has told us repeatedly that it’s not an issue that children get a lot of viruses some more than others and they can take longer to build immunity and to just wait . To take vitamin d. Luckily they’ve always been happy to print off for free the appts so we can give to the school which i think is what has stopped further action as well as then seeing how bad ds was when he got ill during the school day once.

That’s a very low attendance rate and their education will be suffering. Does that not bother you?

It also means that the expectations of the working world are going to come as a huge shock to them. They really won’t be able to call in sick with a sore throat and being frequently off sick with minor ailments is likely to be very annoying for coworkers and managers who pick up the slack, and make them less employable.

Do you go off sick with just a sore throat?

In any event, you are doing them a real disservice.

I see you are refusing to answer whether you work or not OP.

You don’t have a job do you?

I’m a carer so don’t work due to ds SEN/ medical issues . I used to work and because he (and other dc) were unwell so often it just wasn’t possible to carry on

They are all actually above average and even excelling in some areas. Attendance doesn’t always affect attainment. I don’t think any of them will have issues gaining qualifications or jobs, I’m sure by then their immune systems will have improved (I hope!) they are only at primary so I’d hope so !

Which is why it’s not a big deal for you now to keep the kids home. For working parents, having to take days off to look after unwell kids is a massive stress. So they have to think carefully before doing so.

Odd that you have forgotten that, even though that’s why you quit work: the irony!

I dont have a ticklist that decides whether I keep mine off, I know when they're too ill to attend and use my common sense.

What I have noticed is that the children who are off a lot with illness have a parent that doesn't work.
I think with attendance being in the news at the moment - it would be interesting if data relating to attendance and non working parents was collated.

I haven’t changed how I do things at all - they were off the same when I was working as they are now I’m not. It just wasn’t working and I wasn’t prepared to neglect their needs and send them in unwell as it would have been the wrong thing to do so we had to take the huge financial hit.

This

So you think all parents should keep their kids at home with sore throats even if it means they lose their jobs and have to stop working?

Or maybe just the mums?

No that’s not what I think or what I said. It’s an individual decision and my dc do need to be off in these situations but it spends on the child and the severity of their symptoms.

I had to give up work as on top of the medical appts the absence through illness was too much - and I couldn’t have just sent them in as they have been in too much pain, ibuprofen wasn’t helping enough to allow them to eat / drink or be distracted.

We had to downsize and I had to give up my car so we just share the one now. No more holidays for a few years either and we now have a strict budget till dc are a bit older and I can work again so I absolutely do understand the struggles of working parents !

ds1 is year 6 now, other dc are years 2 and 4 so I’m hoping they at least build up immunity before primary school is over I think they just take a bit longer than other dc? When they were in nursery I thought as they caught bugs all the time it would boost their immune systems but no such luck they were just constantly ill and it hasn’t stopped !

This is written for younger children but still useful!

You won't get much sympathy on AIBU. Patenting a kid with special needs is hard and kids with asd often struggle more due to other illnesses or sensory issues.

I have one kid with asd bit thankfully he wasn't ill much. But I did take time out of work to care for him.

Those saying they'll be flaky at work - sadly only 16% of adults with asd work full, and it's not due to sore throats. They have it harder in all sorts of ways.

I wonder if children of parents who don't work stay off school more often than children from homes where both work out of the house?
It would be interesting to see if there's any correlation, particularly at primary and younger years of secondary. 🤔

I'm so glad i had faffless parents, making me get on with life regardless because i had responsibilities (ponies) I'd have really struggled with adulthood if i was allowed a break every time i was under the weather.

Also, I've never been in pain with a sore throat. discomfort? of course. Pain? except tonsilitis, never.

Well if you understand the struggles, then I guess it should not be too much of a stretch to understand why parents keep their kids at school with mild sore throats 🤷🏼‍♀️

I should imagine that’s a given, especially since COVID, people are more able to work at home and so err on the side of caution.

I think there definitely will be. I had to send mine in and occasionally just hope the school would ring work to say they needed picking up as I could take it as emergency family leave. I couldn't afford to take the time off we would've been homeless and hungry if I didn't send them in anytime they sneezed.

Attendance will eventually affect attainment. It’s easy enough to fill the cracks when they’re little and learning basic stuff, but you’ll find that they are quickly outpaced when they miss lessons at secondary. If they miss 20% of their lessons in a fast paced curriculum that will of course be reflected in their performance.

When talking about future employability I wasn’t talking about their immune system - rather that it will have been embedded into their thinking that they’re entitled to soft days off every time they have a sniffle. Either you need to unwind that with them and build some resilience or they will need to do it themselves. Or maybe they’ll just quit work like you did?

I used to be an attendance officer in a secondary. Every year group would have a small number of the same kids who'd be off for a day or two every other week with a sore throat or upset stomach. The frustrating thing is nothing would change from year 7 to 11 and it would seriously affect their attainment. Suggestions of visiting a GP for these unusually high levels of sickness would just be met with abuse. Don't miss that job! I'd add that these cases were different to OP in that the students had no SEN

You are really not doing your kids any favours OP. You might think you are being kind but it is really not kind to have them miss a fifth of the school year unless it is 100% necessary.

If it’s not affecting their attainment and they still have friends and are happy when not unwell then what exactly is the negative impact of being off school when too unwell to go in ? Because In our case I see no benefit to my dc from being pushed in when sick