Why are so many kids STILL taking the father's name?

[LefthandRight]

Is this some kind of feminist blind spot? Most kids still get the dads name and I see women saying "it was just easier", "double barrelling was a mouthful", "I don't mind". You even get situations where the mum has not taken the father's name so she has a different name to her kids but "it's no big deal" and it's like... So it's no big deal for the woman but apparently its a huge big deal for the man?

It really makes me angry because I just can't believe women have to go through the effort and intrusiveness/pain of childbirth only to have that ownership "label" whipped off them, it feels unfair

He got his dads name because I wanted him to. Same as I did. The end.

Don't be ridiculous. It's her name. As much as it is any man's.

Legally and morally.

Actually, no I’ve been replying to you. So if you stop tagging me, I won’t respond.

She corrected Tea’s typo after Tea insinuated her husband was a misogynist (which Tea admitted was her inference). I suppose she was very annoyed with Tea by that.

No, I do not think correcting a typo is bullying. We’ll have to accept that is subjective, I suppose.

And yet when these sentient beings use their imagination and intelligence and make a decision to give a child the same surname as the father, that's a problem??
Why?

It's not a conundrum
You can give a child any surname you like. But people like to use family names.....you just can't keep using ALL the family names as it becomes counter productive.

Tea was quite sympathetic to Sonora, so there was no need for Sonora to passively aggressively correct what was a very obvious typo. It was obviously meant to be superior and condescending.

No I didn’t, you might want to reread.

You seem very confused. A patronymic is passed down the male line. It is given to the man’s wife on marriage and all the man’s offspring - both male and female.

So why are women always advised, especially on here,to get married “for protection”?

if marriage was such a great deal for men, and not women, why is it always women posting about their OH not proposing, won’t agree to get married etc?

if it’s such a bad deal for women there’s a lot wanting to sign up to it 🤷‍♀️

But surely, by your logic, your husband's name isn't his either? You've just chosen to prioritise his family background over yours?

Suggesting/assuming misogyny when this is a thread about misogyny and the poster said he ‘let’ her choose, whilst also being sympathetic to the posters situation was not bullying, at all. I’ve been spoken to worse on this thread than that. There was zero bullying, you accusing me of bullying is actually pretty offensive in itself. I accepted that posters slightly aggressive response about it not being misogyny. That’s how discussion forums and debates work.

As I have just explained to another poster: feelz and facts are not the same.

Your surname may feel like part of your identity - that’s absolutely fine - no-one is saying you shouldn’t feel like that about it.

Nonetheless it’s a patronymic that has been passed down the male line for centuries.

Mira, are you even reading your own posts at this stage?

You’ve said

The first smith it was given to in the family was male and c. It was passed down the male line.

and then

A patronymic is passed down the male line. It is given to the man’s wife on marriage and all the man’s offspring - both male and female.

So you can’t seem to decide whether it’s passed down to females or not. I’m saying it is.

And yet when these sentient beings use their imagination and intelligence and make a decision to give a child the same surname as the father, that's a problem??
Why?

@Mumof2teens79 - you're arguing against a point I've never made. I've purposely not made any negative critiques of women who've made different decisions to my own. I made the point upthread that others' individual choices have no immediate effect on me or my life; what does interest me are the underlying conditions and factors under which we all make those choices.

Otherwise we are all just hamsters in a treadmill to nowhere.

I agree with you Serafina. You’ve been very restrained on the thread.

No you said it's not her name.

Which is legally incorrect.

The irony in claiming facts are not feeling when you were the one that was factually wrong.

Jesus wept. That someone even started this topic. Why don't you just tattoo on the kids forehead: Property of Mum.

Oh bless you. At the same time, I’m sort of at the end of my patience.

Passed down the male line does not mean the name is given to males only ok?

You can, people can choose which half they want to continue.

I kept my name, my children got their dads surname, I chose their first and middle names.

My father in law had died just a few years earlier so thought it would be nice for them to have his surname. Nothing more to it than that really.

She was indeed, Tea has also been spoken to quite badly on this thread by many others. But and then she told Sonara that her husband had knowingly manipulated her into choosing his surname, which was unevidenced and uncalled for. I imagine that was very upsetting. People do tend to escalate things on MN when they have been insulted as such.

I think you need to bless yourself, Mira.

So you admit the name passes to male and female offspring but you maintain ‘My surname is my father’s, grandfathers, great grandfather’s etc name - it doesn’t have anything to do with me personally and I had no choice in the matter.’

You seem very confused.

We always find that only women have abusive fathers.

The name belongs to our fathers and not to us:Only men really own their surname.

You can only be a proper family if we all unite under husbands surname. Are we even a family if we don't match patriarchal surnames?

Only women have atrocious surnames.

Only women have surnames that are hard to pronounce.

Women don't need to pass on their surname even if they're last in line,that surname can die so their husband with brothers and cousins can pass on a surname that are ten a penny e.g Smith,Evans,Jones(easy to pronounce)

It is only important to men to pass on their heritage.

why shouldn't a man pass his surname to his child.

The dad is going to marry us In the future so why should he go through the inconvenience of changing his surname even though It makes more sense for him to as baby starts out as 'Baby mums surname'

Only women don't feel a connection with their surname

Men seem to get over all of this when passing on their surnames.We women must indeed be the weaker sex!

Passed down the male line does not mean the name is given to males only ok?

Surely you are just saying that while the name is given by men to their daughters (so yes, females have the name), it is passed down the male line because only the fathers (original Smith man?)’s male children will pass it on to their offspring?

It’s been 4 hours give or take, it was debate on a discussion forum. There was no bullying, you can think I was rude if you like, that poster was also rude and you have absolutely been rude too. How much longer do you want to drag it out and derail the thread for? Why not move on with your day? We’ve all made our various points now and it has nothing to do with the thread.

It’s a debate. People can agree to disagree, but correcting people’s SPAG is a low blow. Don’t defend that behaviour and attack others.