To be shocked at 28 year old developing anarexia

[Allofthetimeswehad]

Dd 28 in July was overweight then lost a large amount of weight very quickly. She’s now diagnosed with anorexia. Aibu to think this is quite old for eating disorder development?

I’m sorry about your dad and hope she is getting the help she needs. My understanding is that anorexia can strike at any age.

Don’t think it has an age limit

I got it at 60. Had food issues as a teenager but nothing too severe, but went into training for a half marathon at 59 and lost four stone very very fast. Managed to overcome the worst of it, but still have disordered eating now.

There is no upper age limit, as adults it’s often easier to disguise it too and not be picked up by people as unlike as a teen no one is cooking and making your meals type thing, I had my struggles with it at 30

Sometimes it’s a case of swapping one eating disorder for another. I knew someone who was very big, then after a bereavement decided to get healthy. She lost an awful lot of weight, took up running etc. She found it difficult to plateau and maintain a healthy attitude towards food after that.

Is anything happening in her life? Some link it to control. When you can't control things in your life, this is what you can control. Doesn't have to be only weight issue. It can be quite complex.

Adults who have anorexia are often overlooked and can be very difficult to receive treatment , media not interested .

No. If she was overweight before she quite likely already had a pretty disordered relationship with food -don’t flame me, I speak from experience-

While I’m very sorry your DD is unwell, YABVU to think [development of] any eating disorder is limited to a certain age group. Beat Eating Disorders have information & resources on supporting your DD if you’re in the UK; & it’s worth bearing in mind that if she was previously very overweight, she may have swapped one ED for another rather than this being completely new.

I'm sorry about your dd. I'm quite surprised you're shocked. Like any mental health, eating disorders can happen at any age. What did you think about them before she had one?

I agree with pp that it's likely your DD already had a poor relationship with food (eg binge eating disorder?) so this hasn't come out of nowhere, it's emerging in a different form.

Your post seems to be expressing doubt by about her illness. Is this how you feel?

There is no age limit to eating disorders.

Why would a mental health condition have an age limit?

I got it when about 25/26. Hope your daughter is ok. It's a horrible illness.

If Mumsnet is anything to go by, most adult women have some kind of disordered relationship with food. Being diagnosed at 28 doesn't surprise me because her relationship with food didn't start there, did it.

Maybe, in a really non judgemental way, you should ask her about it and how she's feeling.

It's often triggered by weight loss, which can start as normal dieting or health kick, or weight loss from a physical illness or stress. It just sounds like there hadn't been the energy deficit to trigger it earlier. It happened to me in my teens then again 20 years later, unintentionally, just from a health kick.

@Snowdogsmitten some mental health conditions do emerge at particular ages. Schizophrenia almost always occurs between 15-35 for example, and usually before 25.

Similarly, it is a fact to state that most people who develop eating disorders develop them in their teens (90%+). That's not the same as saying ONLY people in their teens can develop them. So I do understand why you are surprised, op. But as the examples here show, they can start at any age. I hope your dd gets the support she needs.

My dad was in his 40’s - he was diagnosed as diabetic and the nurse just read off a sheet of paper how much he must weigh without any consideration of his height/body type/job/hobbies. He then got it into his head that eating anything actually made him hungrier so he would have an apple for breakfast and then refuse to take any food with him to work or at weekends he would
walk out in the woods etc for hours at a time. How he didn’t keel over I don’t know but I am very thankful for! After seeing an actual trained diabetic nurse a few months later he got a better eating plan and started to make better choices and safely lost some of the weight he needed to. But it scares me how easily it happened without anyone really noticing for a good while.

I'm 48 and currently in an inpatient eating disorder unit. I've been here two months and am likely to be here for quite a long while.

There are no age limits to anorexia. I was unwell when I was younger, so this is a relapse. But it's definitely not just a young persons illness. At one point there was three patients here in their forties.

Oh, I am very sorry to hear this OP.

I am a fussy eater and have a small frame and a small appetite. I like being size 8 and sometimes I dip into size 6. I have also dipped into size 4. I exercise a lot too as a thoroughly enjoyable hobby.

I am self-aware though, which is a saving grace. I am HUGELY disciplined and if I said I won't snack, I wont eat oil etc etc I can stick with it till cows come home. The discipline has earned me over a million in work- yeah, sheer, natural discipline and determination.

Because of my self-awareness, when I am at size 6 which is easier for me to maintain than size 8, my self awareness kicks in and I add a few more healthy foods item that I enjoy. Hence I am always size 8 or occasionally size 6 which is usually unintentional- when I am at 8, it just falls off further to 6 and have to rein it a bit back.

What I am saying is, I am in my 40s but have always understood that, one mistake (too much control etc etc) it is very easy for me to see how it is easy for people to develop anorexia and have food issues. Perhaps, after people have been too fat and in the process of losing weight they get the good feeling and realise weight is the only thing they can control in their lives so they stick with it. So, as one poster asked, other than being surprised OP, check what's going on in your DD's life and how she can improve those areas other than punishing herself over food and being only in control of her eating to feel good about her life.

My niece is overweight- knowing the above- I try never to push her, but just support her with her ongoing plan which never really yields weight-loss results. But I would rather have my niece trying than becoming anorexic or bulimic in the process.

It’s one of the falsehoods that anorexia only affects teenagers. I knew a middle-aged woman who had it. Same with Body Dysmorphic Disorder.

Eating disorders affect people of all ages. It's just the media have unhelpfully portrayed it as an adolescent's issue. Makes it challenging for adults to be taken seriously and get treatment.

Anorexia is a long, slow and often failed recovery, I hope your DD gets well.

Of course YABU, eating disorders can strike at any time. Does it matter that she's 28? I think it would behoove your relationship to do a bit of research into eating disorders as you sound very ignorant and could possibly offend your daughter or set back progress by making glib remarks like this.

Sorry to hear about your DD - while anorexia is often associated with young people, and more often girls, it can happy to anybody at any age.
I hope she's getting the support she needs.