Searching used thongs

[kensington09]

Posting here for traffic and I know I'm not BU

On my partners Vinted account this morning (my phone was upstairs on charge)

When I opened it his last search was still on - used thongs.

I feel really weird about it.

Asked him why he's searching that. Says he was bored & curious !!?! Told him it was perverted. Why is he searching there, did he want to see pictures of them being worn? Message the women?? He says no just bored 🤷‍♀️

It's made me feel weird, he's apologised.

How would you feel? Nothing like this happened before?

Try searching Accountant on TikTok for a real eye opener

Meh! Everyone has their quirks. I'm sure we all have stuff in our search history we'd rather not have others see or be questioned on. I know I've searched up some weird shit. What harm is it doing?

Yes but that's not why men search for them.

In some countries "thongs" are flipflops, so he was probably just looking for a bargain for the beach

I'd want to have an honest conversation with him.

If it's a fetish or something he is curious about then that wouldn't be a deal breaker for me but the underwear would have to come from me alone. And I'd make that known so it's it's something he's actually interested in and embarrassed about he has the opportunity to freely fess up

The searching for other women's underware though would be the deal breaker for me. I wouldn't be ok with him wanking with other women's underware. We are monogamous and I think that breaks that.

If he still absolutely armament he searched out of curiosity I'd give him the benefit of the doubt but make it clear I am upset, and so if I found something like that again I would be gone as it's a deal breaker for me.

@kensington09 Something felt off about it and it’s made you think… maybe this is a wake up call for the relationship. Yes it sounds like life is tough if you’re back at home with parents AND have young kids… but maybe you need to utilise the extra help and go on romantic walks at night and get chatting… talk again and reconnect and see if your sex life might get a bit of attention too?

Think there is an actual website selling used ladies underwear......hmmmm 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤢🤢😂

I'm inclined to agree with boredom and curiosity. I know from fb groups there's a market for worn shoes, undies and anything really. Been tempted, and had a good laugh with a friend, about doing a pedicure purely for selling worn shoes to foot fetishists. Even googled and found a site which specializes in it.
If DH saw my search history it's varied and not all necessarily clean and easily explainable beyond "I was curious."

I'd say it's far more probable you have nothing to worry about than think you do.

Ugh!
Deal breaker for me.

Maybe you have different standards to most.

Same - like 'is this really a thing, wonder if yo can buy them on Vinted' after a conversation with a mate or something. Only you know what is more likely with your dp though, OP!

Pretty much.

Some of the things I've searched for after reading about them on MN, my word.

According to some on here I must be a raging deviant. I always thought I was just a nosy bugger.

Surely he could just save money and use OP's?

I'm not sure Etsy with its target market of young to Middle aged women is the best place to make money for such things Tbf 😅

Might be boredom. It would still gross me out tbh. If he wants to sniff used underwear, he'd be told to do it somewhere else. I'm not onboard with that.

Same here.

I delete the really weird shit but most of the time if my DH were to see it I'd just tell him the truth, I saw something about it on MN so searched it 😂😂😂

Well, if he's my boss I wouldn't be surprised. We were discussing Only Fans the other day and the weird shit people sell and buy/view etc. They were gobsmacked and I wouldn't be at all surprised to find they were googling in disbelief.

I'm on for a fiver when I'm proved righy

Absolutely this!
Edited - sorry I thought I'd quoted the person who said that it sounds like the kind of thing they'd search for, and the other who said they wouldn't know how to explain their own searches. I agree.

Honestly - I think this could be so easily just silly curiosity and nothing untoward. But you'll know either way.

@kensington09 my friend used to sell hers.

Documentaries on TV. Websites for it.

I know about it the same way anyone knows about sex work -because it's a way women can make money. Just be glad he wasnt on a site where the women will send a naughty picture of them being worn or take requests to wear then for 3 days at the gym.

I tried being honest with you - my opinion is it's more likely he wants to buy or masturbate thinking about/with used knickers, the same way same men window shop escort sites, than hat he was curious. Where would he have heard of it and thougt to google it? If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck.

And you've decided to be nasty to me because you dont want to hear it. Fine, but I think that's unnecessary, considering you posted for opinions and . I think deep down, you doubt his answer? Why should I be sorry for not believing him either?

@liveforsummer he could but the thrill of the unknown and the fantasy element wont be there. Plus I doubt OP would be open to personalised requests and sexy photos and chat about how she wore them. Anyone can sell used pants but it's the sexy fantasy woman and extras that people pay a premium for.

I'd probably look that up too, tbh. Kinda gross, but also weirdly interesting.

But even if he did get a little thrill out of searching… so what? It’s a harmless fantasy. The OP has already said she knows he isn’t buying anything because they have a joint bank account.

What does it actually matter if he got a hard-on thinking about it? You can’t expect to police a partner’s thoughts to that extent. I’m sure everyone would love to believe their husband is aroused solely by romantic thoughts of vanilla sex with their wife, but it simply isn’t true. People, male and female, have sexual thoughts about all sorts of things and it is really not possible or reasonable to expect every single one of those thoughts to be palatable to their partner.

There are women on here whose husbands are spending £££s messaging teenage cam girls and subscribing to exploitative, violent porn sites so they can wank to women being choked and slapped. That, clearly, is harmful and disturbing. But I really don’t think typing ‘used thongs’ into Vinted is even remotely harmful, or even especially weird.

Unreasonably snooty.