To ask anyone else in a wheelchair?

[DragonMama3]

How do you manage?

With difficulty, but you get on with it because you know what the alternative is.

Is there something in particular that you're struggling to adapt to?

A lot of non lowered pavements and people who think it's ok to park infront of the rare lowered pavements...

Yep, going on 8 years now, first manual then power chair. What do you need to know?

Any helpful tips?

yep- ambulatory power chair user. Shit pavements are the bane of my life.

I'm loving the lowered at one end but not at the other... Shall I just levitate then?

The former I'm reduced to begging others for help, while desperately trying to filter out the dangerous.
The later I have fantasy's involving graffiiti-ing their doors with paint stripper.

What do you find the most difficult?

To people talk to you like you're slow? (Just me?)

I did a lot of rolling around the local area to build a map in my head of where the accessible pavements were. My friend also called the councill to get drop kerbs in front of the school.

They talk to you?

ooh naughty but understandable

No, people talk to me as if I'm simple.

People walk into me all the time.
People have an idea in their head of where I am going and really Ostentatiously move out of my way when then give me really dirty looks when I don't follow their plan.
People make comments about how im faking when they see me walking.
People have pushed me out the way in shops so they can look at what I'm looking at.
People try to "help" me without asking and fuck up my wheelchair.

Oh boy, the lack of dropped kerbs - you do learn where they are so keep going out and about, add more time for journeys to account for bellends parked over them. I have some sticky notes in my bag that say 'you've parked like a cunt' and use them where I need to!

Dropped kerbs that are not properly dropped, broken kerbs, tip you straight into a wide grid drain... all the fun of the fair, yes, we're expected to levitate over them (or simply stay at home because what could we POSSIBLY want to go OUT for?!)...

People... yes I had someone ask me, after a good ten minutes of good old british small talk about the weather, if i was waiting for my 'responsible adult'... I was waiting for my partner to pick me up. I would not describe him as a responsible adult... So i looked baffled and she got flustered and then asked if I'd be collected by 'my unit'... was a 'bus coming to collect me'...

yeah she thought id been allowed out on special day release to see the dentists without my carer... it went downhill from there on as my brain was like 'unit? does she think im a special agent from the Elite Wheelchair Squad or something... whats going on here?'... Took me a while to catch on.

People just ignoring me completely, that one is because, as one delightful person said to me eventually... 'well I didn't know what kind of mong you were'... they're scared in case they get stuck talking to someone who is hard to understand, or suddenly asks them for something they're unwilling to do... (no i dont know what they think we may ask for, their house, car, credit card? the most ive ever asked anyone to do was pass me a dropped item or open a door!)...

You get used to it, develop a sarcastic and dry sense of humor and some cutting come backs... you get by, and you also get to sit down in queues which is lovely!

https://amzn.eu/d/4AFB23C biz cards to leave on offending cars :) theres various options on amazon and i suspect ebay etc etc.

Most just talk at me. Usually about how they know just what I'm going through because their Nana was in a wheelchair in a home just before she died, or they had to be pushed around in one for three weeks when they broke their leg, and it was the longest three weeks off their life, because they couldn't... Afraid I don't know the rest of the script as I tend to have zoned out by then.

When I was a new mum I used to carry my child in a sling. So many people when they went past me said "oh it's a real baby! I thought it was a doll!" Strangely none of my able bodied baby carrying friends have ever had this said to them...

I'm a part time wheelchair user and to be honest I hate using my chair (even though it makes life so much easier) due to the way that people treat you, people treat you like your stupid or (and this annoys me the most) talk to the person I'm with as if I can't understand a conversation.

That said I've recently gotten a triride so I can get up the hill where I work if there are no available spaces and it's been life changing I can do kerbs with it and feel much more confident in getting out alone with my chair which I've rarely done, i don't know if it would be an option for you OP but I can't recommend it enough

Ive been PA/carer/bestie to a tetraplegic man for 15 years. It drives me insane when we are out and about, shopping or whatever and strangers stop him in his tracks (literally!) for a chat! Meanwhile, as i am not considered worthy to talk to, I have to stand and look at my watch, gritting my teeth while the stranger gets whatever it is off his chest, so we can carry on with our day. In a mall the other day, another wheelchair user actually cut him up, to get him to brake, so he could chat about disability benefits. I drives me insane that people assume he has all the time in the world. He is sweet and polite when it happens. I am grumpy and impatient. Does this happen to anyone else?

I'm so sorry you've all felt like this. The world is full of dicks.

This wouldn't bother me at all. I like sharing tips and experiences with other disabled people. If I'm busy I'll tell them and move in.

Not in a wheelchair (sorry for being on this thread OP) but might just get some of these. So many cars parked on the pavement near me, gives me the rage!
Especially as we have a care home nearby, I see people in wheelchairs with their carers out and about in town. A lot have to take much longer routes through estates because the main pavements are full of parked cars. Grrrr.

I clicked on this thread because before Christmas, for the first time, I had experience of using a wheelchair for my elderly mum, who had a fall. Oh my goodness what an education I had!

I realised that pavements are rubbish - really rough and uneven and uncomfortable for mum .

I became adept at spotting dog shit ahead and avoiding it.

Dropped kerbs, while most official ones on public roads were good and completely flat, some were still too high and had to be approached backwards, which was a challenge.

Vehicles parked on pavements - abso-fucking-lutely rage-inducing when I couldn't get past and had to reverse off a pavement causing mum discomfort.

It was important that we got out thoughand mum could go to do shopping, banking and visit our favourite cafe .

We chatted about it andboth agreed that any officials in charge of planning for roads, pavements and building access must include said planners using wheelchairs for a day (well, a year, actually ) before putting pencil to paper.

I was able to return the borrowed wheelchair this week as mum is back on her feet again using crutches. Phew! But I do have an insight into the cruicial importance of wheelchair-friendly spaces when planning communities. It is still not taken seriously as far as I can see. There is much room for improvement.

My daughter is a wheelchair user and we recently went on a fabulous Wheelchair Skills workshop - free, run by charity. They had 'spare' wheelchairs so the whole family could use them and feel what it's like. They worked on various things like staying in control going up and down steep slopes but the most valuable was they taught her how to go up and down (shallow) curbs herself. They were only for under 18s but would be worth a google to see if you can find something similar near you?