To ask anyone else in a wheelchair?

[DragonMama3]

How do you manage?

Yes. Ambulatory user here.

I've experienced all the problems listed by posters on this thread.

Current village hasn't got many dropped kerbs and has the ones which are dropped one end, not at the other.

I can't get up the non dropped pavement for one of the bus stops, so I can't use that service.

Speaking of buses, I've been horribly discriminated against recently and am getting support to complain to the bus company, possibly about the bus company to someone else.

I've also spoken to a journalist to let her know I'll have some details for her when they get back to me re the complaint.

I'm isolated and can only go out using my car now, adding to the chronic traffic issues where I live rurally. I can't get into the few local shops including the pharmacy. I've had comments from neighbours who have seen me use my chair and seen me struggling with the outdoor xmas decorations without the chair.

I get the ignorance from people. Being disturbed when I'm autistic and need to be left to it if I'm visibly trying to arrange my personal items or mobility attachment.

I get stopped by other chair users too but I'm OK with that even when I'm not doing great (burnout etc) because I'm aware I'm not the only one out here with these issues and any swapping of info is good. It's also a relief to talk to others who know what I go through.

A little girl (well, now 17) near me is dying of incurable cancer and is trying to live her best while she still can, and has experienced the same discrimination as me, trying to get the buses here, and the issue with idiots parked on the pavements, she's now stopped trying to get the bus on her own. How sad is that.

I've got permission to include her details when I make the complaints.

The discrimination and access issues I've had recently have affected my mental health so badly.

I love my chair. Without it I'm actually housebound. But I absolutely hate our society.

ItWasnaMeGuv Now imagine over the years struggling with getting young children to school on time, then facing disciplinary procedures and losing jobs and work because you just can't get where you need to be on time day in day out, no matter how early you set off, because of all those things, as well as idiots on your commute who wont fold their pushchairs, move their luggage etc. Then to add insult to injury being unable to access the job center only to be told not their problem and you can't use a different one you can get into, because if you could get at the local one, it's wheelchair accessible.

I can't get into the pharmacy either. I don't mind my scooter or w/chair.

sorry @Elleherd

I live very near a post office that I can’t get into. Quite depressing, I have to go to the big one in town which is wheelchair accessible.
I hate that people don’t see me, when they are walking around they are either looking at eye level or their phones, they don’t see me and get aggressive when they do notice me ‘in their way’
Also, crowds are bad, I have to pause to wait for an opening but people behind me will swarm around me. Very annoying.
Both of these are worse than lack of dropped kerbs to be honest. I occasionally have to go back and try again if I’m in an unfamiliar place.

You get used to only crossing on main roads with proper curbs. Go the longer way around because curbs are rubbish or blocked. Risk your life in the road as no other way to get back up on to the pavement. Don’t be afraid ask other people to walk beside or behind you if you have to leave the pavement. Especially if it’s their giant lorry half parked on the pavement. Take pics of ass drivers and post over social media to make yourself feel better!

Ambulatory powerchair user here- and yes my username is right!

As long as I do it slowly and carefully I can roll off a lot of kerbs. Getting up is a bit trickier and I've done more than my fair share of rolling in roads.

I've had people try and push me as well when they 'think' I need help. Latest one was 2 days ago when someone thought I needed to be pushed down a ramped footbridge when I didn't. He got told he had 2 seconds to f**k off before I ran him over. I'm sorely tempted to get a sticker for my chair that says 'just ask dont grab'.

Buses by me are pretty decent. Stagecoach buses have this sticker on the wall of the wheelchair space that says wheelchair space enquired by law. I've only had one bad experience on a bus where I got laid into by an elderly gentleman because he had his walking frame there and refused to fold it. However my local bus station isnt accessible- the way its built means there is no space to get off the bus when the ramp is down. Buses have to stop on the street outside the station. Also, the space on some buses was clearly designed for a little small wheeled, push along wheelchair and not a ginormous powerchair.

Probably my biggest gripe is so-called accessible toilets that aren't. By the time I have managed to get my chair in the toilet I either can't close the door or I am climbing over my chair to get to the toilet. And the total lack of privacy as well. Unlike ladies toilets where the individual cubicles afford privacy, most toilets open right out where other people can see you. Great fun when someone else opens the toilet door mid-wee

While I can walk, it isn't far, it isn't reliable and it definitely isn't safe over anything other than carpet. For ages I was struggling on with crutches, hoping that the next day would be better, the next day I would be OK. Nope. I had to self fund her because the NHS wouldn't help me. She's given me my freedom and independence back at a time when I had very little of either. If someone can love an inanimate object, then Inlove my chair to bits. Not that long ago DH said to me that I had been struggling for too long, and seeing how much of a difference she's made to me he said I should have got her about 6 months before I did.

Ambulatory user here - on crutches usually. I hate it. People judge me and think I'm lazy and also k have no confidence that I can go anywhere and do anything because well, maybe I can't.

Took my eldest to an open day at Uni the other day and one end of a long pavement had a dropped curb and the other end had a massive drop off and split slabs.

It was depressing because I went to this Uni back when I was able bodied and from a personal pov it was sad to see how I'd changed but also, not once had I even considered wheelchair accessibility when I was at Uni.

It gets better in time. The type of chair you have makes a big difference. Hoping you have a helpful wheelchair services near you who can assess and sort you with something that works for you. Having your chair fitting you properly is really important as it impacts on your balance; and makes kerbs/ uneven ground easier to manage

When it comes to people that's really tricky. I think I have developed a pretty thick skin; and can deflect most of the stuff intended to be helpful and the stuff that is just downright ignorant or mean.

Word of caution though; I do think that people are generally ruder and transport etc is less effective than pre covid

Wheelchair user here

I live in a City area that's quite good for access having lived in areas that aren't as well so I've experienced both. When I lived in Market Town I used to have to go around in circles just to get home looking for the right paving

But this

Probably my biggest gripe is so-called accessible toilets that aren't.

For the love of God this!!! I can't go to the toilet at the cinema because of this. The chair doesn't even go in the door never mind close!

I have a powered scooter, and having recently moved house decided to go round the local area to see what I would have to contend with kerb wise, etc. I was about 100 meters from home on the way back, when a car reversed out of a driveway and almost took me out! I think it was an electric car as I didn't hear it, just suddenly saw it coming straight at me. Unlike when I'm driving my car, I couldn't speed up to get out of the way, as I had the speed limiter set for pavement use, and literally couldn't get out of the way, I really thought my time was up, but let out what I think was probably a blood curdling scream, and thankfully the car stopped. I was so shocked that I just continued to my house, and when I got indoors told my DH what had happened. He was worried that this experience might stop me using my scooter in the future, and wanted me to go straight out again, but I was too cold and too shocked to do it. So the next day I went out again, and was even more wary of driveways, but this time the biggest hurdle was a van parked by a fencing company half way across the kerb. My scooter is too big to turn around on a normal width pavement, there were no dropped kerbs to go back to, apart from one where I would have had to reversed onto a busy road and so I was left wondering what the hell to do. I tried to get past, but while I might have got the front wheels through, the back wheels are wider, so no way. In the end, I managed to position myself so that I could just see the phone number on the side of the van, so called and told the guy who answered where I was, and the situation. He came wandering out of a garden, in no hurry whatsoever, no apology, nothing. He then looked me up and down, as if I was some sort of girly driver, who thought I was trying to get a bus past his disgustingly bad, pavement parking, and said, 'Can't you get through there?' I pointed out my back wheels, and asked him if he didn't think I might have already tried that. He then took forever, to shut of the back of his trailer, and shunt slowly back and forth so that he just about cleared the path. I got past, and then made a point of saying to him that next time he needs to park somewhere like that, to think of people like me, because I had no choice but to sit and wait until he came out. He said, 'you should have shouted'. To which I responded that we were on a busy main road, and there was no way he'd have heard me. It was clear by that point, that nothing I said would make him behave any differently in future, as he was obviously the sort of selfish knob that only thinks of his own convenience, and sod anyone else, so I just left him and went on my way. As it turned out, I needed to return via the same route, and was half expecting him to have blocked the path again the minute I'd got past. Luckily for him, this wasn't the case, as I'd have really told him his fortune in no uncertain terms if he had.

I called my wheelchair Brenda!

You can get cuffs with spikes on for your wheelchair handles/bar to stop people grabbing them to push you. I don’t have that issue generally because I’m in a power chair but I did once have a kids entertainer in a museum grab the controller for my chair and take off at a run with me and spin me round and round (much to the amusement of my 5 year old).

My biggest gripe is people who insist on ‘helping’ and then get annoyed when they get hurt. Black cab drivers are bad for it- I go to reverse down the ramp with my wife keeping an eye, and they ALWAYS want to help and when they are told no, I know what I’m doing, they leap past her, get hold of the chair and get their feet run over.