Paying for carers

[CircusSkills]

BIL and wife have been housing FIL for two years, built separate accommodation on their land using proceeds from FIL's house sale and have been managing his finances ever since. Soon after he moved, his health deteriorated, and they got a live in carer to stay with him. DH has just found out all FIL's money has gone. FIL now has to move to care home which will be paid for by local council as not enough for private care in the accommodation as he needs round the clock care. In the meantime BIL has asked DH to pay for the private carers until FIL moves as apparently the money ran out months ago. DH has no money and asked me to help pay as I have savings. He doesn't expect any of it will be paid back, circa several thousand. AIBU to say no? BIL and wife have been managing finances and said nothing till now

How long ago was the house sale?
I’d be worried about the council looking into deprivation of assets if the majority of the money was used to build the accommodation.
Has anyone from social services been in touch? They should be helping set up carers in the interim before the move

Why cant BiL pay for half of the care if a private care company is being used? I'd be asking for full disclosure of where FiL money has gone before even considering handing over any savings.

They've been caring and paying for FIL for some time. It kind of feels like it might be your DP's turn to step up tbh.

If the local authority have deemed FIL eligible for an LA funded care home placement, they can fund his care in the community. Or has he yet to be financially assessed by them?

Neither of you pay for anything. He's not your responsibility. Social services have the duty of care.
Possible trouble ahead for BIL.

They have basically used FIL’s entire house sale proceeds to improve their own property and taken any inheritance DH may have had. They can rent out their expensive new accommodation once DH moves into a care home to pay towards his care.

I don't agree that they used his money to 'improve their property.'

FIL made a decision to sell up and build a property on their land. He could've lived there for decades, needing increasing amounts of care that they were presumably willing to provide.

No one could have foresawn that his health would deteriorate so significantly soon after moving in.

Since he needed round the clock care they naturally used his money to pay for this but when it ran out investigated other options.

The money ran out 'months ago' so they have been paying for 'round the clock' private care since then.

They will financially benefit decades from now when they sell their property but that is the benefit they get for giving him land to build a home, essentially taking on his care even though that happened sooner than expected.

Has DH seen detailed accounts of where the money has been spent? Who owns the additional accommodation - has his brother gained from that?

The LA will need to see accounts and FIL may be assessed as having funds if they feel any spends are contrived. I suspect they would also look into where the funds went from fil house sale went.

If FIL need 24 hr care does he qualify for CHC funding? Has he been at least assessed? The LA If funding should pay for carers in the interim if so.

This. Does BIL actually hold Power of Attorney or have the finances been managed informally?

Has FIL's own money been used for the live in carer as well as the building work? Also, has the carer done most/all, or have BIL/SIL been helping too?

How much they've spent in terms of their own money and effort would make a difference for me, but if you can't or don't wish to pay, you could suggest they recoup the money by letting out his home when he's left

They must be getting attendance allowance

The must if worked it out surely before they started the project
how much came from fil house ?
how much did it cost to build the extension?
basically all they have done as said is
add value to their house with the extension!
they NOT actually looked after and cared for him.
In that case, he could of stayed in his own home and got carers 3/4 times a day through social services

Get bil to remortgage his house to the amount the extension as made since having it built to date .
He then pays the £££ into fil care fund

Id be really annoyed them asking dh then he asking YOU to help!

Also does he claim attendance allowance? Small amounts but it all adds up.

Suggest they sell the 'separate accommodation'.

If FIL needs round the clock care and his assets have dropped below £23,250 you need to get a social services assessment asap and the local authority are obliged to meet his care needs.

It’s not deprivation of assets if it was used to house him, which this has been

Perhaps ask for meeting with social work to discuss finances, but it appears BIL has benefited from sale if FIL's house, so that should be taken into account

It all seems a bit suspect- if they moved him to be so close to them, why did he need 24/7 live in care ? Why did they wait so long to involve the council, and if he has run out of money then surely social care would pay for 4 x a day carers until a care home place becomes available.

I wouldn't be spending any of my savings on this.

No. Stand firm. Social services will step up, move him sooner or pay for care in the interim

It’s not deprivation of assets if it was used to house him, which this has been

True. FIL's money was used to build FIL a home. Therefore the home can be used to fund FIL's care. It's tough luck really that the home is on BIL's land if no legal agreements were drawn up to cover this situation.

Definitely trouble ahead for BIL. The local authorities have a duty of care to the taxpayer to ensure the funds are appropriately used for care homes. Oh well, just sit back and do nothing.

Hopefully fil's money can be recuperated from BIL's estate to pay his care home fees.

Round the clock care is incredibly expensive. I employed carers 24 hours a day for my father for the last three months of his life. The total bill for this time was around £25,000 and this was five years ago. So at a rate of roughly £100,000 per year it’s easy to see how quickly FIL’s money can have been spent.

A few people seem suspicious that they moved him in but then 'didn't provide any care.'

But op does suggest an unexpected and sudden health deterioration after he moved in, changing everything.

I expect they were unable to provide 'round the clock care' and I suspect this would be too much for most of us.

No no and no.

FIL's assets are for his care.

Once he has no assets, the local authority will assess him for provision of care. They will assess how his assets have been spent by BIL and wife to see if there has been deliberate deprivation of assets.

BIL and wife do not appear to have managed his assets well if the money has very suddenly run out. This would have been predictable as they knew the costs of the live in carer.

Your personal savings are for you and your family. I do wonder why you have savings though while your husband has no money.

I don't think the OP having personal savings while her husband hasn't is really anything to do with anyone else?