DH doesn't think critically about a recipe as he's making it

[shaniahoo]

I desperately need to rant about my lovely DH, but not to his face since he's just made me a really lovely dinner and I am grateful for that. I am.

But when he cooks from a recipe he sometimes does something really weird because he read it wrong but doesn't notice that it might be wrong and question it.

So this evening we planned a new recipe from a Jamie Oliver book and I left it to him because I was out at an appointment. I said just follow the recipe. Jamie said use frozen mixed onion, carrot and celery but we don't have that nonexistent product so I got those vegetables in fresh. I didn't mention that to DH, didn't think it necessary. He decided to use the frozen mixed veg that we do have in, which is peas, sweetcorn, carrots and green beans. I don't understand why you would see "frozen onion, carrot and celery" and choose to use a frozen mix of completely different vegetables, rather than the same veg but fresh, and also apparently have never at any point considered that might be wrong. See it's not just misreading the recipe, it's also the fact that this veg is getting sauteed in oil and then add some vinegar and cook it off before adding chopped tomatoes. That's a REALLY WEIRD thing to do to peas and sweetcorn and he never considered that it was weird. He does more than half the cooking in our house and regularly makes pasta sauces that start with onion carrot and celery!

The meal was really nice anyway so I limited myself to a brief indignation then shut up about it and enjoyed the dinner.

There have been other times...like one time he made brownies from a jar recipe, and it said to mix together the dry ingredients then add eggs and bake. So because it didn't explicitly say to mix the eggs in, he poured them on top of the dry mix and put it in the oven like that. He said he was just following the instructions and they should have said to mix, but come on you're making brownies here, brownies do not consist of chocolate powder with baked eggs on top.

His visual memory is really bad, like he's a proper "kinesthetic learner" and doesn't seem to picture stuff in his head the way I do, which I've always struggled to understand and I wonder whether it's because when he's doing something he doesn't picture the end result as he's doing it, and therefore doesn't "see" a dish of powder with baked eggs on top of it, or pasta sauce with peas and sweetcorn as a base. Would love to hear from people whose brains work in the same way his does and who can fully understand making this type of mistake!

Mine was making mashed potatoes once. The fact he needed a recipe to make mash is indicative of his cooking abilities.

The recipe didn't tell him to peel or cut the potatoes before boiling, so he put intact potatoes in the pan to boil. Wtf. I was flabbergasted.

My dp would do similar. He’s very literal. He rarely cooks (only really if I’m too ill to do so) but when he does he has to follow the recipe to the letter. So I’ll be mid puke and he’ll be stood outside the door going “it says to use 5 medium carrots but we only have 4 and one of them I’m not sure is medium what should I do?” or “we only have red onions not white”

One time he was making a dish that involved Boursin and I bought own brand. He could not see that the soft cheese with garlic and herbs (or whatever it was called) was the exact same thing and he could use that, he just said that he needed Boursin and I hadn’t bought any!

Another time I was making a cake and had to rush out to pick up dd after school called me. I asked him to put the mix into the tin and into the oven. He called me and left several voicemails (I was driving) because the tin I’d prepared was an inch different in size than the one the recipe specified. When I said it’s fine it will just be slightly deeper and take a bit longer to cook he was completely bamboozled.

His checking everything with me drives me mad but perhaps it would avoid incidences like eggs on top of brownie mix 😆

Another one here also wondering about at work/on the road!

However what I will say is, as someone who learnt to cook under the watch of hyper-critical parents, who would pick apart every step I did while learning, I for many years was very anxious over cooking, and while I wouldn't make this mistakes (or the brownie one) there's every chance I'd make another mistake that someone else would think was very stupid, because for a long time I followed the recipe very literally out of fear of getting it 'wrong'.
A lot of my job is thinking critically, and I dont struggle in any other areas (And I'll quite happily experiment/google something I'm unsure of)

Some people never learnt to cook but they can follow as recipe as long as it's very literal

@Rewis it's definitely called soffrito in Waitrose- on the frozen section. Haven't bought it elsewhere , so will look next time I'm in Sainsbury's - haven't spied it in M&S

A lot of my job is thinking critically, and I dont struggle in any other areas (And I'll quite happily experiment/google something I'm unsure of)

I wish my DH would just Google things. He has his phone in his hands all of the time and will ask questions that I would have to Google myself. His job involves maths, research, and critical thinking yet he doesn’t think to Google unless he wants to look up something that heavily interest him like sports stats or what actor/actress was in xyz movie.

If he can look that up, surely he can look up other things. Even in cooking and baking if I’m unsure or don’t have a certain ingredient, I Google it and often remember for next time. All sorts of information at our fingertips via the Internet yet some don’t consider using it.

Smash it on the rim of the freezer when you buy it

I declump bags of frozen veg by clouting it with my rolling pin. Works every time.

Alternatively, take the loose end of the bag and whack it on the worktop.

Also if you ever buy something frozen and it's really clumpy it's because it's stopped being frozen at some point

That’s not actually true, if you slice and freeze your own veg it can all stick together. Sometimes they use oil to stop this happening.

Yeah that's because you can't quick freeze at home. When stuff is flash frozen it shouldn't clump. The clumping comes about through melting and refreezing during transport

@LaMarschallin , I sometimes find that she over explains (eg "Break the eggs into a bowl" - what? As opposed to straight onto the work surface?)
It's not over-explaining, it's giving the right amount of information.

The brownies are an example of what happens if the information doesn't give complete instructions.

Sometimes clumping has happened because it’s thawed, sometimes it’s just that the quick freeze and/or oil doesn’t work perfectly.

Autistic person here and I’ve done similar in the past. Written instructions are really hard for me.
I want to take them at face value but if they leave out something obvious my head gets stuck on ‘if it was important it would be on the instructions so it obviously doesn’t need to be done’.
And if there’s a conflict in the instructions eg frozen veg but I have the wrong frozen veg or the right fresh veg it can be agonising to work out which part is most relevant to select the alternative.
Im getting better at employing common sense alongside this but boy does it make my head hurt.
Not saying your DH is autistic of course but just trying to share how it can happen!

You a buy frozen soffritto in Asda, Morrisons, Tesco and Waitrose if it’s any help! Probably sainsbos too but I haven’t looked there.

You've quoted me a bit selectively there.
I went on to say:

but I've cooked a lot and also learned a lot of basic stuff for Cookery O level (it was possibly called something grander like Domestic Science; it's a good while ago). It's obviously necessary for some people.

See? "It's obviously necessary for some people."
I find it a bit irritating because I don't need every bit explaining to me and it could make some recipes look too long and over complicated to some.
I think the omelette-on-cake-mix scenario given here would be unusual however the instructions were given.

I did quote you selectively, because I don't think DS overexplains.

A lot of instructions and recipes don't include enough information.
I wasn't criticising you, just pointing out that the information should be complete.

FayCarew

Fair enough; we're both entitled to our opinions.

@LaMarschallin , I don't think our opinions differ particularly.

I think usually the reader doesn't look at the instructions unless they need to have their hand held or if they've got stuck.

It helps with a recipe to read it through before starting to cook it.

FayCarew

Fine

Lack of common sense and a healthy dose of learned helplessness. I cant stand inadequate people.

(Yes, I am in a grumpy mood today!).

My XP (ND) couldn't understand things that weren't written out. He read one of my books once and asked me why the characters didn't go to the toilet, and why something was mentioned as 'having been spoken about' but it wasn't 'spoken about' on the page. I actually had to explain to a rational, over 40 year old man, that fiction doesn't list out ALL the characters actions, only those that are relevant to the plot, and you could assume that the characters did stuff 'off the page'.

He genuinely didn't understand that. I think this is a similar scenario. Well, the thing with the eggs and the brownie mix, anyway.

Bless you! This cracked me up! 😂

I can actually relate to him! My first cock up was making a cheese and potato pie at school, and there were no instructions to drain the potatoes. So I didn't...
I do have ADHD and I'm not sure if this is related. I find if I don't concentrate and follow the recipe, I get it wrong. Evidently, if the recipe isn't toddler simple, then I will still get it wrong.
I can't visualise anything either.
However, these incidents aren't as frequent anymore, and I am usually a decent cook.