12 year old - holday no consent from dad

[Nomorethistime]

Hi all

anyone know what happens if you take a 12 year old on holiday but with no consent letter from dad. 12 yo has dad surname

Potentially you won't be allowed to leave the country. There are numerous threads on this.

Some people will tell you they have breezed through passport control a zillion times with no bother at all, others will tell you they were stopped, questioned, missed their flight, holiday ruined etc.

What's the reason you don't/won't have a letter of consent? How likely is dad to be difficult? Can you go to court for a child arrangements order (which allows you to take the child overseas for up to 28 days without consent) or a specific issue order (sorry, I forget the right name, but it's probably cheaper and quicker than a full CAO) that you're allowed this holiday?

Awaiting the ‘do it anyway’ comments, despite the fact everyone calls for a public hanging when it’s the other way around!

Abroad?

We (two women) took ours on holiday abroad at around that age and younger without any issues. Usual questions at border control about where we were flying in from, had we had nice holiday or flight etc. Nothing about their other parent and consent etc. Similarly, the kids went on holiday abroad with their dad and also just with grandparents. Never any questions or issues no matter what the combination of adults and children was, and the different surnames etc.
If you think there might be a problem, I'd carry a letter from the other parent with their consent just in case. And be relaxed and confident. You're taking your family on holiday, not doing anything wrong.

Almost certainly nothing would happen and at 12, if questioned, the child would be able to explain what was going on and who you were etc. I've gone several times with my dc and the name on my passport is different to theirs. Was once asked in Berlin quizzically 'Are you a family?' said yes and that was the end. Another time, was also questioned by P &O woman back at the the UK and told I really ought to have their birth certificates. I do travel with these now and try to remember to get a letter from ex, but never been asked since.

I don't understand this, surely a letter can easily be faked. Is there an official document you have to have signed or is it just a scribble on a scrap bit if paper saying 'I give consent for the mother to take out of country'?

Quite. A letter can be easily faked.
Hardly necessary for a 12year old whom should be deciding for themselves at this point visiting and holiday arrangements, and what they want to do.

I was stopped at border control last year with my daughter who has a different surname to me. This was in France. They asked a couple of questions and advised me to bring her birth certificate next time. She was 13.

I would bring birth certificate with you at least.
I've taken a 10 year old that's not mine to Spain - his dad helped him
Check in and then in Spain he was asked a few friendly questions about his holiday at passport control

Take the birth certificate.

I can imagine the comments would be different if it was a father or mother trying it

It’s not just at UK border control that you might have issues.
I Had a friend who went on holiday to Canada and because her DSS (her dh’s ds) didn’t have a letter from parents they were put on a flight back home. He was 13.

It’s easy to say that nothing will happen. Until it does.

I have taken my teenage daughter away a lot over the years and sometimes have a letter with me (especially if travelling to America) but have never been asked for it.

I have been asked for her birth certificate multiple times, most commonly when I re-enter the UK as opposed to another country. I don’t think a letter is important if it’s a standard Length holiday to a non obscure destination but proof that you are the child’s mother is very important if you have different last names.

Carry the birth certificate with you. I have taken our daughter to Europe and Aust and never been questioned

If the op is the resident parent then she's allowed to for under 28 days.

This only applies if there is a child arrangement order saying the child must live with that person

If you haven’t got consent then why are you going? Do you have the legal authority to do so?

People can give as many anecdotal comments of when they have done this with no consequence . There are simply not enough border staff to check everyone leaving or entering a country. It's a bloody lottery - so how would you feel to be picked ?

5 years ago I went with my close friend and neighbour on a long planned holiday of a life time with three children each. She was stopped at the border leaving for the plane. Immigration bent over backwards trying to get her ex husband to email consent. He didn't want to say 'no' to them as his kids would realise what he had done - so the evil wanker prevaricated for over 2 hours with 'dodgy internet' and 'urgent work meeting' until the gate was firmly shut and the holiday lost.

Do not under any circumstances chance this. If you can't get a genuine letter from your children's father, you don't have a copy of a court order with residence that gives you 28 days without his permission , then FGS pay £215 and go to the family court yourself and apply for a specific issues order and stop playing the lottery with your children's holidays.

How to do this yourself through GOv.uk ;

www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c100-application-under-the-children-act-1989-for-a-child-arrangements-prohibited-steps-specific-issue-section-8-order-or-to-vary-or-discharge

I've taken my children abroad and never had a letter. We were asked as we reentered the UK, well my DD was who I was etc. but still did not require a letter.

I did take their BC's just in case but not asked for them.

I regularly take my child on a holiday without his father, we have different surnames. I have been asked for a birth certificate when entering UK once, out of all those times.

Me and my parents took my niece a few years ago to South Africa and Zambia, we were told of the consent letters etc in that region. We were asked for the consent letter when leaving Zambia. FWIW we all shared the same surname.

Some people are not in contact with their children and you may not know their whereabouts. There are quite a few deadbeat parents around and what are people meant to do? Never go on holiday?

Just another point if you don’t speak to him anymore and he finds out by some other method you took him abroad without his consent he can have you arrested. Additionally a note will be put on your record and may potentially ban you from whichever country in the future aswell.

I'm was stopped with my dd entering Canada and she was 17! Thankfully it was easily resolved because she has an adult British passport and could advocate for herself and they believed her (her dad had come on an earlier flight due to a mix up) but I was told that all under 18's need their birth certificate showing parents and either the other parents death certificate, a court order or a notarised letter! Obviously not reoccurred as an adult now

Obviously not. But you could get the legal stuff done so you no longer needed consent and then there wouldn’t be an issue.