12 year old - holday no consent from dad

[Nomorethistime]

Hi all

anyone know what happens if you take a 12 year old on holiday but with no consent letter from dad. 12 yo has dad surname

I would question how you would feel if it was the other way around and what then would make you feel that you are entitled to do this?

Have a look at the fcdo advice for the country you're travelling to as the rules vary.
Slightly different but my 17 year old recently travelled to the USA with my mum.
The rules said she would need a letter from her parents giving consent.
She didn't get asked for them but did have a letter and her birth certificate with her.

Not sure if it helps but... we took our grandchildren on holiday abroad. We needed a noterary letter from a solicitor. It cost £200 but meant we could board the cruise ship with no problem.

If you don't have any contact with child's father, it might be worth enquiring at a solicitor.
Similarly, my daughter abd I took her children (dad's surname, so not her surname) a copy of their birth certificate with her passport name iyswim abd no issues.

Oh goodness, yes how awful, taking your child away on a holiday they will enjoy and presumably have a lovely time! How outrageous

It's the no consent part I'm questioning. Perhaps there are mitigating circs but I know many mothers would scream bloody murder if it were the other way around. Would you just say "ah fair enough, have a lovely time with your dad" if you hadn't given consent??

Yes I've been questioned several times. Always carry birth certificate but yes you need the letter. It's not worth the risk.

Do you not have a legal agreement in place? In the end I went to court and got the court approved order which said able to travel for up to 28 days without the other parents consent (he's actually been absent since she was 2 and she's now 14, but still a controlling arsehole)

Spot the male/handmaiden

Probably nothing.

I'm sorry you've only ever known shitty men

So much this. I can't believe the PPs saying to just go. If the other parent won't give consent and the OP doesn't get a court order, she could:

• be barred from boarding her flight
• be put on a plane/ferry straight back home again when she and her DC get to passport control at the other end
• be reported to the police by her ex for international child kidnap, with serious legal repercussions

I'm divorced from my DC's father and have to get him to sign a permission letter every time, take a copy of his passport with me, the DC's birth certificates and my new marriage certificate. It's a PITA but I've been asked for them twice and been given the third degree when any element was missing.

OP, just pay the £215 and apply for a court order. Then you can stop worrying about it and enjoy your holiday!

I've travelled with ds, abroad, 5 times, and I've been asked once, what my relationship to ds was.

It was as we came back into the country via Eurostar. I said he was my son, the officiak asked if I could prove it, and I told him to ask ds, who was 9 at the time.

He asked ds who I was, asked him which school he went to and what the head teacher was called, and DS answered. He waved us through.

People on MN do seem to get fixated on this issue but the border staff are used to managing it sensibly.

Or just write a letter to yourself, post it to yourself, and carry it in its envelope, plus dc's birth certificate. Cost about £1.

Silly question maybe- how do they know you are not together?
I do individual trips into Europe with my kids, they choose one a year each (cheap stuff like a Ryan air under £20 flight and a cheap air bnb or £12.50 ferry to France) as 1:1 time. I must have done 15-20 trips without their dad

This is such complete nonsense !,
You 'got lucky' . That's all, no more no less. You had a BF officer who chose to follow their own instincts. It doesn't mean EVERYONE will have that experience. If you read my previous post you can see that this is not always the case.

It's a direct analogy with seat belts.
They are a legal requirement for safety purposes.
You can jump in your car anytime any day and travel for miles without 'getting court' . When you get court there are legal consequences.
You can also damage yourself and children by not adhering to the law.
Why would you or any responsible parent think 'chancing' this is acceptable.

The law is there for a reason. It's to stop the hundreds of child abductions that happen between estranged parents every year. If your estranged husband was trying this , without your consent, you would agree it's an essential law.

Court - caught. It's early !

It's usually only an issue if you have different surnames. My ex isn't in the picture, DS has my surname and I've never once been asked for a letter or birth certificate and we've been abroad about 30 times to various countries and continents.

If I were you I'd just fake a letter and signature.

@Outofmydepthnow There are roughly 11m children below the age of 16 in the UK. Approximately half of those, the parents are no longer together.

If 5 million of us all went to court when we wanted to take a child on holiday abroad, the court service would be on its knees. The court service is already on its knees. So a modicum of common sense is required on all sides. The border force know that.

I know my ex would never kick up a fuss (too much like hard work), and I have no issue with him taking ds on a decent holiday (if only). I carry ds' birth certificate to indicate I have PR.

How would immigration know we weren't still married (in which case no letter is suggested) or dead (again, no letter suggested)? They don't.

I've taken my children (father's surname) on holiday scores of times and only ever got questioned on the way out once but was questioned on the way back LOADS of times! although, since Brexit the French ask many questions in case the child is a French resident but the British haven't asked me at all but that could be as the children are teens now, not sure. I have never been denied entry or exit from the country just asked lots of questions. Take their birth certificate.

Technically it is kidnapping which is mental as my ex didn't even want visitation, if he had this would all have been hashed out in court. But in reality you would not be arrested unless your ex called the police, and possibly not even then.

Never had an issue. Always take birth certificate just in case though

We got through no problem ( I did have In writing permission as in a messalenger conversation and him saying he would do a letter he just never actually did it and gave false reassurance it would be done). Divorce still not finalised so I share name. There was absolutely a couple stopped not even 3 spaces back from us with different surnames. Regardless next time I will 10000% be off to court for the sio because I won't be leaving it to luck again

Are we really giving an internet stranger advice on how to take a child out of the country without consent from the other parent? Are you all assuming this is a difficult ex trying to ruin the mother’s holiday? It could just as easily be a parent trying to illegally move the child away to another country and withholding access.

Which is why she needs a court order if she can't get a letter of consent.

@dementedpixie thank you I didn't know this (new at this!) can you apply to the arrangement order yourself to formalize the arrangement that is already in place, or do you need to wait until the ex takes you to court to try and get more residency?

I’ve never been asked for it and my kids have my ex’s surname. But there’s always the chance.

Take the birth certificate to prove you’re his Mum at least

Only ever asked once when travelling eith son with different surname and passport control said maybe bring a letter next time. I said I could write one now and sign it in his dad's name and he laughed and said yes, you could. And we did have dad's consent as he lived with dad at that time and he brought him to the airport for us.