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Dentist receptionist being rude justifiable or not

78 replies

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 22:57

I went to the dentist today , it’s my 3rd appointment since registering as it took me so long to find a dentist that accepts NHS patients and understand how hard this is for everyone.
I had an emergency appointment in November because all my gums hurt ridiculously I was taking pain killers every 2-4 hours and felt like I was taking way to many. I couldn’t eat properly I even blended a dinner to eat something other than soup . I saw the emergency dentist she said for my age (33) this was bad I shouldn’t have problems like this. I had them cleaned after having anaesthetic in my lower gums because it hurt so much i couldn’t even do it and was in tears, she said that I needed regular every 3 months deep cleans .
I got antibiotics and have taken my dental hygiene very seriously since and the problems have subsided. I found a regular dentist and had my first check up that’s required when you register. Been told everything else I need done along with needing a hygiene clean to maintain the gum disease as it can’t be cured just kept at bay to remove the plaque that was still there , so I came out and made the appointments.
i had my hygienist appointment I took the very first one I could get to get this sorted and never ever experience that pain again . The lady was lovely and even though it hurt she done an amazing job removing plaque and I didn’t need anaesthetic just numbing cream thankfully .
when I came out I went to reception to book my son an appointment. the man at the reception was typing into the card reader , he said that’s £55 please and I was so confused I said I get nhs treatment he said it’s not covered by nhs because it’s a hygienist appointment so I’ve said ok I’m so sorry I can’t even pay it today I’ve literally paid out everything all my direct debits have come out as well I’m waiting until my next pay day , he said well we all have bills to pay and I felt so humiliated as if I’m trying to not pay. Which yes I completely understand we all do have bills to pay on time etc but I had no idea and I would have kept the money aside if I had known , I was so embarrassed with people all behind me in the waiting room . I said I can pay on such and such day and he said I would have been told asif I was lying about not knowing I said I wasn’t told by the dentist when she told me to book , by the receptionist when I did book and also nothing was in the confirmation email and the 2nd confirmation email I got prior to attending. I said this is 4 opportunities I could have been told and wasn’t he was then saying the receptionist is very good and she wouldn’t have forgotten to tell me which was implying again I was lying , I said clearly she’s not because I wasn’t told 🤷🏼‍♀️
I made the appointment I needed to apologised did a promise to pay which then the charge was added to my account and left .
I then rang the nhs dental helpline and asked what treatment I’m actually entitled to and asked about hygienist appointments. He asked if I had booked the appointment myself which I had and he told me that it would then be cosmetic, I explained further that 2 dentists had told me to book this and he said sorry about the confusion it does come under clinically necessary for the heath of my gums to prevent me from having even severe issues and that it’s the dentists that have said it . I asked what can I do about this owed payment and he said call the helpline when I next go and they will explain. I was still outside so said can I go back now and you talk to him so I did and the receptionist was saying it isn’t clinically necessary but he will waver it this time . He wasn’t happy at all and once off the phone he said to me he’s wavering it because I wasn’t told about it not because I’m supposed to have it and even the man on the phone agreed with him and laughed as if I was stupid . I said going forward how am I supposed to have this done every 3 months I’ll have to pay? He said yes Its not necessary etc etc just being rude the whole time I said the dentist here said it and he said I must have got confused it was advised not necessary. I asked how does he know that and he said he will ask the dentist but I feel like he won’t and just wanted rid of me . he added that every time I come Iam late which isn’t true I said I’ve only been here 3 times , the first time I was a few minutes late as I got the bus dragging my 2 kids with me using Google maps to find the place but it wasn’t by a lot . The 2nd appointment my son had one at 2:20 and mine was at 2:50 , me and my daughter ran for the bus made it but my son didn’t he was 2 far behind and missed it , he’s 12 so I said get the next bus . I got there about 2:16 I explained to the receptionist the same man that my sons appointment is 2:20 and mines 2:50 he’s running late can I swap them around he said oh I understand I have children it gets harder as they get older and was very chatty telling me he’s children’s ages , he said it’s fine I’ll change them and then I waited , just as I went in to the dentist before I’d even sat down my son got there so she saw him and then me like it was supposed to be , today I was on time exactly at 3:30 . So said I’ve not been late he said the first time I was 6 minutes late , I was just in shock that he’s mentioning this and then he said and yesterday I said no I switched the appointments he said oh yes I remember . I couldn’t believe I was trying about this with him.
I left and rang the first dentist I saw the emergency one and explained that I was told it was necessary is that on the notes or anything or anyway I can contact that dentist for proof about it , she read out the notes and said yes. she said you need this every 3 months as I have gaps in my teeth from receading gums plaque and gum pockets it needs to be maintained. I’ve emailed the manager at this practice for a copy of these notes to prove myself to this receptionist .

this felt so unfair how I was treated and since leaving I’ve thought if I now ignore the 2 dentists that have said to do this and take the receptionists word in 3 6 12 whatever amount of months this is goih to come back and be painful again worse case scenario my teeth fall out because I haven’t done what I needed to do . I felt gaslighted like I was making it up to get free treatments or something like a scum bag who’s on Benefits trying to get things for free and not pay or something . I wouldn’t have booked the appointment in the first place if I wasn’t told to do so .
I don’t know what to do from here it’s knocked me down mentally so much I feel humiliated and embarrassed I even started to cry at one point , all in front of my 8 year old daughter .
is he right ? Am I just causing problems I’m so confused. I completely understand any lateness or missed appointments are unacceptable as the demand for nhs Denist’s is so high but to bring it up into this felt like I was being attacked trying to defend myself while staying calm and quiet in front of the other people , I didn’t say bye to him when I left the day before and I don’t know if that’s pissed him off after he was so chatty 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m trying to think every possible reason here and can’t figure it out

OP posts:
RubySundayy · 03/01/2024 23:03

I’m really sorry for how you’ve been treated, it does sound like they shouldn’t have been trying to charge you for the hygienist. However it is not great to be late - couldn’t you have at least called to say you were almost there?

Your post is a bit long and hard to follow so it might help if you rewrite it a bit more clearly.

Also, it’s a bit much to expect people to be kind to you while also describing people on benefits as scumbags trying to get things for free.

AuntySueDoesntGiveAShit · 03/01/2024 23:04

A scum bag on benefits? Charming.

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:07

No I’m not saying people on benefits are scum bags , not at all I said I felt like a scum bag on benefits, I’m on full benefits I don’t work I’m on universal credit and I get limited capability for work and work related activities in that .and he made me feel like a scum bag because of it . Because I’m on benefits

OP posts:
Mumof2NDers · 03/01/2024 23:08

He was rude!! Absolutely no need to bring up things that may have happened in the past. The thing with the hygienist should have been explained to you. Basically your gums are given a score in 6 areas. 0,1,2,3,4.
in our practice if you score 0,1, or 2 then a hygienist appointment is considered private as it’s cosmetic not clinically necessary. If you score 3 or 4 that’s classed as clinically necessary and should be covered under the NHS. Some hygienists only work privately but you should have been told if that’s the case. If the hygienist is private only there is no reason your dentist can’t do your cleaning etc.
I would maybe not complain as such but I would bring it to the managers attention.

Mumof2NDers · 03/01/2024 23:10

Transparency on their part should have been key.

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:10

No sorry he made me feel like that I felt like a scum bag because I’m on benefits I’m not saying people on benefits are at all xx

OP posts:
EverDecreasingStandards · 03/01/2024 23:13

The first dentist you saw that said it’s a necessity, were they a private dentist or the nhs one? Sorry, I just can’t quite tell.
Only asking because our nhs doesn’t even offer a hygienist and the dentist will do a scale and polish if it’s necessary. They actually never do it anyway, even if necessary, and I had to go to a private dentist to the hygienist and pay £75.

Yes your receptionist is rude, the one at my place is rude too. You were embarrassed by him in front of people and that is causing you distress and now you are in a bit of a spiral. It sounds like a horrible experience, hopefully an email to the practice manager will sort out about the hygienist being necessary and not to be charged for, but I wouldn’t go through every that you’ve put here. Just stick to the basic facts and keep it brief.

Some people do treat people on benefits as beneath them and as ‘scum bags’, I’m read it, and was understanding, that you meant that that is how he was treating you, not that you think people on benefits are scum bags!

Sorry you were treated so badly Flowers

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:24

Thank you , yes the emergency first one was a nhs dentist as well . I don’t know how to now shorten the message as it’s so long I was trying to explain everything in 1 go my thoughts are racing with so much to say and no outlet which makes me go on and on 🤦🏼‍♀️ it’s been 8 hours since this happened and I’m still sitting confused and frustrated. I’m going back on Tuesday with my son so I’ll ask for the manager when I go , I’m now worried he’s the manager and it’s going to make things worse that I want an argument or something about it 😩 xx

OP posts:
Pumpkintopf · 03/01/2024 23:26

Perhaps try to clearly summarise this in an email.
Or take a typed copy with you as your post comes across as rather rambling and it may be easier for the practice manager to understand if you bullet point it.

Basically you want confirmation from the practice manager that your hygiene appointments are currently clinically necessary and therefore will be covered under the NHS.

PastorCarrBonarra · 03/01/2024 23:30

I get that you’re not calling benefits claimants scum bags OP. Don’t worry. But your post is a bit rambling and I think that your email to the practice manager needs to be more concise than that.

I really hope you get it sorted out.

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:35

Thank you , I’m new to netmums I’ve never used it before , I googled rude dental receptionist and it came up something similar so I made an account , the comments on the other post was all saying it was her fault that people using nhs treatment take the mick and waste appointments for other people etc so I tried to explain absolutely everything , but it’s ended up a mess and tmi 🤦🏼‍♀️ thank you though for reading and replying xx

OP posts:
Zingy123 · 03/01/2024 23:37

This is Mumsnet not Netmums.

Lateness is never acceptable I'm not surprised they were funny with you.

ActDottie · 03/01/2024 23:38

I thought it was pretty common knowledge hygienist appointments are not on the NHS. Also I thought NHS dentistry was just cheaper not free. They said they probably could’ve been a bit clearer given you weren’t aware of this.

QuestBloomingdale · 03/01/2024 23:40

OP, this is mumsnet, not netmums as you said. 🙂

Also, it's okay you rambled because you're clearly upset and struggling with this incident. It was just a bit hard without spaces and separate paragraph but I understood all you wrote.

Sorry about what you went through. The receptionist was really horrible having those arguments with you and basically accusing you without actually saying it.

Hope you get it sorted, then have a cup of tea or something and calm down. Try and put it out of your mind and just act like it never happened when around him, after all is sorted.

Nttttt · 03/01/2024 23:40

I didn’t realise dentist was free either on NHS unless OP is maybe pregnant or just had a baby?

QuestBloomingdale · 03/01/2024 23:44

I think hygienist is not free on the nhs but not as expensive as private.

TheShellBeach · 03/01/2024 23:45

OP please quote whoever you're replying to because your answers are out of sequence and it makes the thread difficult to follow.

TheShellBeach · 03/01/2024 23:47

Nttttt · 03/01/2024 23:40

I didn’t realise dentist was free either on NHS unless OP is maybe pregnant or just had a baby?

It's free if you get certain benefits, which the OP says she does.

AuntySueDoesntGiveAShit · 03/01/2024 23:51

I think the crux of it is that if the dentist says you need to see a hygienist for the health of your teeth rather than cosmetic reasons, then the hygienist is free.

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:54

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:35

Thank you , I’m new to netmums I’ve never used it before , I googled rude dental receptionist and it came up something similar so I made an account , the comments on the other post was all saying it was her fault that people using nhs treatment take the mick and waste appointments for other people etc so I tried to explain absolutely everything , but it’s ended up a mess and tmi 🤦🏼‍♀️ thank you though for reading and replying xx

Mumsnet sorry

OP posts:
Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:59

TheShellBeach · 03/01/2024 23:45

OP please quote whoever you're replying to because your answers are out of sequence and it makes the thread difficult to follow.

Edited

Thank you I didn’t know what the quote button did if I was highlighting sections or something 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was pressing reply and the comments were going all over the place . I’m learning how to use this as I go , I feel like I’m p**sing everyone off 😬😩I just need constructive criticism I’m getting there lol

OP posts:
ThreeTreeHill · 04/01/2024 00:01

If you have gum disease perio treatment is clinically necessary and you are entitled to it on the NHS

That means either the dentist has to provide it to you on the NHS or some practices have an arrangement with a hygienist to provide it. Either way the practice has to provide you with the treatment on the NHS.

The receptionist isn't qualified to say if your perio treatment is clinically necessary.

Sophiekylesmum · 04/01/2024 00:02

QuestBloomingdale · 03/01/2024 23:44

I think hygienist is not free on the nhs but not as expensive as private.

I wasn’t aware of either I just booked the appointment as told by the dentist, but when I called the nhs dental helpline he did say it’s usually private unless you qualify for the clinically necessary category which the first dentist has confirmed I did

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 04/01/2024 00:02

Sophiekylesmum · 03/01/2024 23:59

Thank you I didn’t know what the quote button did if I was highlighting sections or something 🤦🏼‍♀️ I was pressing reply and the comments were going all over the place . I’m learning how to use this as I go , I feel like I’m p**sing everyone off 😬😩I just need constructive criticism I’m getting there lol

It's not your fault.
MN have got a Reply button which does nothing at all.

We've been complaining for ages!

ThreeTreeHill · 04/01/2024 00:02

Yes basically the receptionist was incredibly rude. You should have been offered hygiene treatment on the NHS if the dentist I'd saying you have gum disease and pockets and you should have been informed that the hygienist was private.