To use a specialist pushchair for my child?

[Hokeypokeyz]

Son is 4, he’s struggling with fine and gross motor skills and will only walk for 5 minutes then says he’s tired. He also feels safe in his pram when he’s overwhelmed.

We have a referral for paediatrics for motor skills, potentially autism (lots of traits and 3 siblings who are autistic) and ENT for hearing problems. He’s getting a bit too big for his pram and I have a specialist pushchair in the cupboard from my older child who doesn’t use it anymore.

Thinking of using it for when he really can’t walk anymore or is overwhelmed and wants to hide? I really don’t think he’s ‘lazy’ (hate that word), and we are working on his stamina, but until then AIBU to let a potentially ‘neurotypical’ child use it?

Of course not, if you have it and it would help you and him then use it. We had one for DS who is autistic when he was younger via wheelchair services, but gave it back so someone else could use it once he didn't need it anymore around age 7.

I would use it.

Pffft to what others might think.

I don’t know. Does it have an in-built “neuro-typical child detector” that notices if there is a NT child sitting in it and immediately ejects the child like a cannon ball?

If not then it seems very sensible.

I have a blind person’s clock. (Basically whack it on the top and it tells you the time.) I am not blind. I am severely short sighted though and it makes my life easier.

I would use it. I’m sure you’ll continue to encourage him to walk and build up stamina. If it helps your family to hell what anyone else thinks.

He is struggling with something, you have a piece of equipment that would help both him and you, so use it. So long as you’re being sensible about it (so still trying to encourage him to walk when he can) I don’t see why he needs a diagnosis of something specific in order for accommodations to be made for his needs. Do what’s best for him, and makes things easier for you.

(And remember lots of NT four year olds, without the issues your son has, get ferried around in cars everyday and no one bats an eyelid.)

Definitely use it. It's nobody's business and you don't need to justify it. I think you have very good reasons to use it.

@Mumofteenandtween that made me laugh 😂 I just worry people will think I’m trying to make him look worse than he is. I know I shouldn’t care but yeah them looks from other mothers can get a bit much sometimes.

It sounds like a sensible plan to me. The time to work on his stamina isn't when you need to get loads of shopping in or get everyone to school on time and, as PP said, many 4 year olds (and 14 year olds!) get driven everywhere, even fairly short distances.

Might be hypermobile.

It's hard isn't it. Just tell yourself you are meeting the needs of his disability.

sounds sensible to me.

i pushed ds out of a pram when he was 3. By 6 he was using a specialist buggy and now at 14 he still has a wheelchair.

I wish I’d done this for my DS at that age, as he got very tired and would often just lie down on the pavement and refuse to budge. But we hadn’t yet had his various diagnoses (hyper mobility, low muscle tone, dyspraxia, PDA, ADHD) and I worried I’d been doing him a disservice not to encourage him to walk more or learn to use a scooter. But I just ended up carrying him everywhere on my back after the first 5 minutes of walking anywhere.

Looking back, kids who could walk / scoot / run without discomfort (and without darting into the street / running into lampposts and bus shelters) did so whenever they could and enjoyed it. My DS never did. It would have made all our lives easier if I’d just got a bigger pushchair.

(And remember lots of NT four year olds, without the issues your son has, get ferried around in cars everyday and no one bats an eyelid.)

This. Always always remember this!

My (officially neurotypical but strongly suspect autistic as I have recently been diagnosed and they are just like me) kids use weighted blankets and ear defenders because their (and my) life is easier when they do. Don’t worry about it OP!

Why wouldn't you use it?

I have one for my 5 Yr old it's crucial for us.

I don't even notice the stares any more to be honest

@Bunnyhair yes that’s my thoughts. What 4 year old would rather sit in his pushchair instead of run/ride everywhere if they were able? Definitely think there’s an underlying reason but unfortunately it’ll take a long time for his paediatrics appointment etc. His brother does have dyspraxia so that’s something on my mind.

Absolutely use it! Make life easier on you and him OP!

@bryceQ i just worry using a disability pushchair without a diagnosed disability could be the wrong thing to do.

If I see a larger child in a pushchair I definitely assume there's some kind of disability and not that they are lazy or even lazy parenting!

If it helps, then it's best.

It's absolutely no one else's business. Use it if you think it is beneficial.

<casts skin of a rhino hide but looks beautiful and youthful spell on the OP so she will care less what other people think>

Hypermobile joints are a bugger and it's a co-morbidity for neurodiversity. If he has hypermobility then he has my express sympathy for the pain and exhaustion.

(Obviously I have no idea, it's just that your post made me think that that is one possible cause of him getting tired quickly).

I think it's just whatever helps you and your child x there shouldn't be any judgment about you doing best by your child.

I'd have thought in terms of working on his stamina, he may be willing to go a bit further if he knows the pushchair is there if/when he needs it.

My dc were using a double buggy at 4&2, eldest is autistic, still used a single one for her until 6 sometimes, they even climbed into together but being petite a normal one worked

According to whom? Random people? Who gives a fuck what they think?

Use of one should be on need, and your child does need it.

pfft indeed. op just use it whatever is easiest for you both.