How do you mark your 40th birthday

[Todaysproblem]

I’m turning 40 this year and I have no idea what to do. I have no close friends at all. I’m quite happy with my own company / family bubble and almost actively made sure no close friendships were ever formed. I always found the little or big dramas that friendships bring overwhelming and feel a lot more relaxed staying out of it.

We could potentially organise a ‘special’ trip, but it falls during term time, so not possible.

A nice restaurant won’t do it, we go out at least once every 2 weeks and I like exploring new (to us) and beautiful places to eat, so it would feel more like something we always do.

Any ideas?

I went to New York, not on my actual birthday but inbetween mine and my childhood friend’s 40th. It was great. The day itself we just had a family meal

Dh and I with ds went on a short break, if I was alone I would have gone away for a long weekend or at least Friday night to Sunday if I could even local to where I live

How about a weekend break to somewhere with delicious food, or somewhere with a special restaurant.

I climbed Kilimanjaro on one of those organised group trips. Was with a bunch of strangers, but I didn’t mind.

I vote for a special trip, it doesn't have to be on the exact date of your birthday. Mine was last year and I ticked off a new continent.

I don't have many friends either but went for a spa break with my mum and sisters and then a meal out with DH and DC on my actual birthday. Do you have extended family? Or would a spa break alone be nice? If you have young kids, anywhere alone for a full nights sleep is usually very welcome!

I'm turning 40 in May and my husband is 50 in July. We're doing a week in Budapest over the May half term as our treat.

I'm doing a show on my actual birthday so will spend it with my theatre friends and do family things on the weekend like a meal out.

i don’t have a massive social life (like spending time with family and i love my job which is quite hectic and social anyway) but for my 40th I went to Vegas with a friend - it was amazing and i’m really glad i did it! it was my first (and only) girls trip so felt really special. loved it!

I had my gallbladder out

Also NYC

DS was 2, DM looked after him.

I'll be doing a trip that is slightly more exciting than usual. It won't fall exactly on my birthday because of term dates but I don't mind. If we had no children, we may have gone on a hiking holiday.

I had a book party. Each guest brought two books, one for me and one to swap. There was a lot of chatting, eating, tea, and eventually we fell into companionable quiet with our new books.
Very civilised, and exactly what I wanted.

We had a trip to Florida booked for ours which ended up being postponed due to covid, and we went to NYC for our 30ths (close together), we'll definitely do a big trip for our 50th, so for us it's always a holiday.
Not always on the exact dates but close as possible!

I went out for dinner and drinks with friends as the 'party' the week before, but spent the actual day lolling around on a little hired boat on the Mediterranean with my husband and children. I didn't want fuss, I wanted to be completely relaxed.

My husband and I are going to Devon for 3 nights and staying in an Inn right on the water, and going to a little fish restaurant (only 25 covers) on the actual night of my birthday where I will be drinking champagne with my meal. The fish restaurant is dog friendly, so our little dog can join in too 😊

I didn't. I'm not bothered about birthdays. If you want to do something great but if you don't want to it isn't compulsory. And if you don't know what you want to do it would suggest you aren't bothered.

For my 30th Barcelona 40 th Paris….for my 60th I’m planning on going back to Japan…to travel round Kyushu and Shikoku.

so big trips essentially.

Lockdown so not a lot

I’m not too bothered, never been. I was relived I was heavily pregnant on my 30th, used that as an excuse to do nothing. But my entire family lives abroad and they’ll all call expecting to hear about something amazing I’ve done. I’m stupidly trying to create something for anyone who will ask so I don’t have to put up with a disappointed reaction.

Why not dinner and a show? Then plan a nice weekend away somewhere at a more suitable time, IF you want to.

Why not go away for a long weekend? Could you not take your kids out of school for a couple of days?

Family meal at home on the day, special trip away at another time?

I was VERY pregnant so went small for the actual day (night away in a country hotel and dinner etc). Then a year later we all went on a ‘posh’ holiday as a belated celebration/1st birthday celebration for my youngest.

my 50th yesterday, most boring day of the year the 2nd Jan, so I have started to go away for NYE & birthday. This time we spent NYE in Vienna and waltzed in the new year as is Viennese tradition then hopped on the train for birthday in Bratislava. Last year was Prague, another time was Krakow. I try to look for places that have the Christmas Markets til the epiphany so there is still some cheer.

Go away :-) if you're away, it doesn't matter if your circle is small as you're away.

Ah. Best present you can give yourself then is to stop doing something to placate someone else.

I had been trying to stop people doing presents for my birthday for years and years. I used my 40th as the one I finally put my foot down and said very clearly No. I'm not doing it. I'm not accepting a birthday just because other people expect it. I don't want it, I'm not having it.

44 now and the last few years have been so much nicer since I made it all clear.