Want to resign from a "very good-on-paper" job - am I being ungrateful?

[ForThisPost1]

I have a very good-on-paper job, excellent pay, flexibility of WFH a few days a week, and good benefits. The company's name is good on my CV, work is not too stressful. However, I feel trapped by office politics, repetitive tasks, incompetent managers and colleagues, red tapes and an huge amount of bureaucracy. Everyone pushes everyone off to get onto the corporate ladder. But again, it pays well, flexible...

My friends and family think I am mad for wanting to resign under the current economic climate. However, I can feel this job is killing my spirit day by day, and I am not myself anymore...

I already grind my teeth for two years. Am I being ungrateful?

It sounds like you gave it a good try and there is no point in being miserable everyday at work.

I would give yourself the target to find a new job within six months, start applying for things now and only resign once you have a new job.

In the meantime save as much as you can every month.

I find what helps is mentally telling myself I DO have choices and today I chose to go in.

”i could quit but i chose to go in today. Just today. Because it suits ME better not my boss or the company. I chose it for me.”

Also a calendar, cross off days and countdown the 2 months.

i include weekends and put days off and medical and dental appointments in bright blue 🌈
I also booked every check up I could think of

Just bite the bullet and resign OP! Don’t put yourself through this torture - you’ve already said you can afford it so what’s holding you back?

This post could be me! I know how you feel OP. I was in a very similar situation and resigned in November, started a new job in December.

It made me feel like my whole personality was being slowly twisted and destroyed and it seeped into the rest of my life. Politics, scheming, incompetence and fakery. I would look around and wonder how I seemed to be the only person so uncomfortable with the environment, it felt like everyone was some kind of Americanised corporate robot.

Don't quit without something lined up - set your mind right now that you're getting a new job, and begin working on that in earnest. You'll make it through.

There are plenty of decent jobs, they try to brainwash you into thinking you're in a wonderful place and you're privileged to be there. It's not true, it's part of their game. There are irksome parts to every job, but it's not normal to feel the way you do.

You can do it! Escape!

Do we work in the same place? I feel the same about my job and the thought of going back totally ruined my Christmas break. I can't quite pin down what I hate about it though but I just do! It's great pay (for my industry) a big name, excellent projects and experience on my cv, flexible working etc etc. So why do I dread it every day!! I don't even know.

@Lorelei22 thank you very much. Did you have the new job lined up before resignation?

Yes I did. I was so burnt out by the end that I was worried I wouldn't have the necessary mental strength to make a good impression in my new job but honestly I feel great now. A weight lifted - you don't even fully realise how much it's affecting until it's removed.

@Lorelei22 What did you do to make sure the new job is different from the old (toxic) one? Would love to have some tips.

@Rafting2022 I have always been working since graduation. If I resign, it would be the first time I am without a job. I find this prospect scary but weirdly exciting too.

Just do it - you won’t regret it!

@ForThisPost1 I had a good sense of what I was looking for based on a previous job I enjoyed.

Competent manager I could have a good relationship with was very, very important. I researched my potential manager on LinkedIn and used the interview to get a feel for that person and if I'd click with them. Competent and experienced teammates was another requirement - again, LinkedIn and ask about team make up in interviews - too many juniors = not personally for me.

Meet as many people as you can during the interviews, you will get a feel for the company.

I also asked in my network for any insight people might have - specifically around culture and politics.

The above has worked out well so far - I'm really enjoying my role and it's early days but it's obvious that the misery I was experiencing has not followed me.

@Lorelei22 - thank you so much for sharing the experience.
I checked the line manager part, but the one who interviewed me and I liked a lot left the company after one year. I missed the team member part.
Job market is dire at the moment but I will start my CV today.

All other things apart, I don't call a company that is underpaying me by 40% as 'good on paper.' With all the other stuff I'd have used that to walk and find a job that pays me what I'm worth, not (as appears here) one that gets away with unperpaying to that extent.

You said you had savings - start job hunting and once you get an offer, if you take any outstanding holiday days at your current job and negotiate a later start date at your new job you could have several weeks (or more!) unpaid sabbatical between roles to clear your head.

Also if you look for a role at less of a corporate you may be able to negotiate before you accept their offer extra holiday days, time off in lieu, flexitime, working shorter hours or something similar to allow you to have more headspace minibreaks and more free time to socialise.

@MrsDanversGlidesAgain Thank you for the reply.
The problem is I think they are over paying me (maybe I am just not confident). When I did the job search, to get the same salary in other companies, I have to move at least one level up. I am currently earning more than my (new)line manager. Money is the big if not the biggest reason why I am staying in this job.