Want to resign from a "very good-on-paper" job - am I being ungrateful?

[ForThisPost1]

I have a very good-on-paper job, excellent pay, flexibility of WFH a few days a week, and good benefits. The company's name is good on my CV, work is not too stressful. However, I feel trapped by office politics, repetitive tasks, incompetent managers and colleagues, red tapes and an huge amount of bureaucracy. Everyone pushes everyone off to get onto the corporate ladder. But again, it pays well, flexible...

My friends and family think I am mad for wanting to resign under the current economic climate. However, I can feel this job is killing my spirit day by day, and I am not myself anymore...

I already grind my teeth for two years. Am I being ungrateful?

@ilovetomatoes - I would love to be made redundant because the redundancy pay is rather generous. But don't think they will and they do not accept volunteer redundancy.

I know it is very tough out there, hence biting my tongue every day. But I am worried that I will be depressed if stayed there longer.
Did you find a job eventually?

Okay you are single with just the mortgage.
it's really manageable and you have options

I'd be looking at finances - 6m is scrapping it so you need to look at income streams.

1. Lodger

Could you / would you consider a lodger for 6m / a year? I rented my 2nd room. Mine were carefully selected but out a lot, good company on the days we bumped into each other and paid almost 70% of the mortgage at this time.

1. Contract/ Temp work

This can be pretty lucrative and lots of contractors are utterly useless meaning expectations are very low. If you actually apply yourself for 25 hours per week in a FT role people will think you are the second coming. You could start conversations now with recruiters to see what's around and this could tide you over until you find a full time role you want. Again with contracting your notice period is pretty short so you can end it early.

What do you think???

Ps our company prides itself on its flat structure except everyone knows everyone's level and it's the same unless you are their level or higher you are fucking invisible... My life line is there is ONE guy I work with who joined last year who thinks the place is as weird as I do. He was convinced our volatile, abusive big boss would get fired in layoffs.... Having been there longer I wasnt do sure and I was right... He got a promotion in the reorg and now ruins the lives of 50 peoples across 3 continents instead of 7 Londoners! Good times! 👍👍👍

YANBU.

Nobody can say you haven’t given the job a chance. All of the reasons you’ve given for why the job isn’t working for you are reasonable and relatable.
I’ve briefly worked in places that were ridiculously hierarchical before and if you’re used to workplaces where the culture is completely different to that it’s hard to take seriously.

I think you’re being hard on yourself..

A few years ago I got a job with a prestigious global company. Great benefits package, they looked after their staff, very generous with CPD, I was WFH 80% of the time. I even got to finish at 2pm on a Friday.

However, I have never experienced somewhere with so much silo working before or since. A lot of my job was working with managers in other teams and getting some of them to reply to me was a full time job in itself. I felt like I was being ignored and they didn’t want my input. Every week I’d be asked to update my manager and felt like an ass because I’d be saying, “I’ve still not managed to get time with Andrew/David/Kevin (and all of the other managers).”
My manager however didn’t seem to mind.

On reflection the work was easy. I found out too late in the day they thought my work was good. One of the other reasons that my attitude to the job soured was I wasn’t getting feedback. There was also some weird politics with a few individuals. Nothing major but it grated on me.

It felt like a cycle of log on each day, send chaser emails, attempt to phone managers and then wait until it was time to log off. It got to my 5th month there and I decided one day., “nah!”
I told my manager it wasn’t working out for me. She was really shocked when I explained why. To give her credit she really tried to help but I’d made my mind up and said, “thanks, but no thanks,” basically.
They didn’t want me to go.

When I reflect on it I think I should have probably spoken up earlier about my frustrations. I feel I was too quick to dismiss the possibility of trying to work things out. However, I only gave it 5-6 months. You’ve given your job 2 years.
I was probably being unreasonable. You’re not.

Make sure you're getting as much value, satisfaction and fulfillment from your non work time.

When life away from work is good I think you can tolerate quite a crap job - it's a means to an end after all

And trying to derive life's satisfaction from a job is rarely a success I find

Totally relate to this.

I want to move on from my job because I can't stand one of my team, plus I miss having work friends; feel so isolated with WFH a lot and being in a tiny team detached from any other and all remote from each other.

But... it's good income, nice firm, generally very nice people. I have a 6-month notice period which means I can't just resign and move on. Everyone says not to leave without something lined up - but I am just fed up and I miss being happy. Keep thinking a career break with travel would give me a "reason" to go.

In that case just got for it. I resigned from a director level position (had to work a 6 month notice period) with no job to go to. Best thing I ever did and all worked out fine. Had a few months off, did some temp roles then after about 18 months got the role I’m in now. Still a management role but less senior and much more enjoyable.

Hand your notice in today!

I would look at your overall CV and if you can make the break work in career terms, then go for it. I had to leave my last job due to stress caused by bullying during the pandemic. Prior to that I actually loved it and had a great run of promotions plus industry reputation that meant I was seen as a great catch in the market. However, my new employer grossly overstated its proposition and has not lived up to expectations, despite being great on paper. My current complaints are similar to yours and I want to move on this year. I am also single and could afford time out, but because the role has ended up being a step back (I was told it would not be) it would not be good for me to take a break from a CV standpoint and I suspect harder to find a new role when I did start looking again. I will be looking whilst wfh instead!

However, in your shoes I would just go for it and leave. Life’s short enough as it is and it sounds like you wouldn’t have the same issues as me.

@InsomniacsWife - Agree with fulfilment from my non work time will make work more bearable - I am not, and I don't know if it is due to this job. I lost interest in many things outside work include dating (put on a lot of weight because of emotional eating). My friend said I should try to "get laid" before I resign because it (sex) might improve things. I must look like a miserable person to her. It is a chicken and egg situation.

I am literally in the process of resigning from the same job! the American corporate culture is the thing that has killed it for me. Its just awful and was also slowly killing my spirit too. Superficial team work, lots of smiling and insincerity, lots of backstabbing and blocking. Everyone is completely replaceable but no one wants to admit it.

I was in a company that was bought out by a US company, and the culture change has been jarring. So many unhappy people now pretending everything is great! on paper it's a great job, in real life its like nails down a blackboard.

I went online and read the employee reviews of the new company before the switch over and tbh they were absolutely awful. So I can't say I'm surprised at how things have turned out.

If I'm honest, I've been quietly quitting for about 3 months now, knowing I was just waiting for the right moment. I used to be described as a 'machine' in how I was high energy and laser focused in getting stuff done (I'm told this is a compliment 😂, what does that say about corporate culture!?). In the new company I just found myself more and more not giving a @#$% about things. Deadlines, politics, oh so big targets we just have to achieve or the world ends, that get bigger and bigger every quarter, it just became so pointless and endless. The clichéd rat race.

Watching the younger generations being groomed for decades of corporate misery in return for the shiny benefit crumbs they're thrown, it's depressing.

I could have just been burnt out maybe, but it just started to feel like a waste of precious time and life.

I'm starting to recognise in myself how groomed for societal approval I've been through work. If I'm not just meeting targets but exceeding them, if I'm working ridiculously long hours and getting patted on the head for ignoring my family, if I'm drinking from the company cool aid at all times, then 'I'm a good person, achieving big things, who is worthy of value'.

So much ego and identity bound up in the working world that is totally pointless, superficial and fleeting. Once you're gone, you're gone and no one really cares, no matter how important we think we are.

I think you should listen to your inner self and recognise that it's time for change.

Getting laid is a very short term fix and unlikely to change your whole mindset.

Start looking for a new job and new horizons. Life is just too short to be unhappy in work.

I found it extremely lonely working there, even though the people were nice enough. It just had zero vibe. You deserve better, I hope you find something soon

@DoristheDuchess - Yes, mine is also a large American corporate. The culture is unbelievably toxic. The danger is, they are so good at marketing and brand building which lure you into the job like false advertisement.
Have you watched "the Shawshank Redemption"? I am like a prisoner there and is losing my will/strength to escape.

@DoristheDuchess - I also have been quietly quitting, but I guess you still need to interact with the manager and be in the toxic environment.

@ForThisPost1 I could write the same as you, honestly the dread of coming back to work was unreal yesterday. I also work for an American Corporation and the culture is just off and the red tape unreal. There is nothing I can put my finger on to say to my manager but I feel so empty. I used to work for a large uk company I miss the people and the team the work not so much but people gave a crap about each other! I’m looking to do a couple of courses to maybe have a side thing outside of work so I feel fulfilled

If you feel like you're in the Shawshank Redemption, then you really do need to start digging your tunnel!

Remember that line in the film 'get busy living or get busy dying', it's so true because time is short and we don't get it back again.

Take a big step today and start looking for a new job.

@DoristheDuchess Will other companies be similar? Or this is an American Corporate thing? I lost the will to dig the tunnel as I am worried that I will end up in another prison.

Honestly OP, I would start looking for a new job ASAP. Not all companies are like this, but some are, hopefully the next one won't be. I would NOT take a 6 month sabbatical. You'll burn through so much of your hard earned cash, and you may not even enjoy it as much as you think you will. It seems so attractive now because you're so miserable, but you may find yourself getting bored and directionless. Find another job and that may well solve your unhappiness. Good luck OP!

@GenXisthebest Agreed, I will get my CV out today.
But it will takes me at least two months to find a new job. I am not sure if I have mental strength to last this long. Do you have any advice for the interim?

Thank you very much.

I would just steer clear of the big American companies.

Also go through employee reviews of the company and see what people are really saying to get a feel for what it's like.

I would use the time to apply for a job and then time your start date so you have a month off in-between jobs That should be long enough to recharge your batteries but not too long that you'll lose focus.

I have one of these jobs. Great on paper, flexible, agile, fairly well paid for the actual brain power required and a big name for the CV but its a shit job really. Once I am done with mat leave I am off. I will of course be telling everyone at interview that it was a very challenging and amazing role but I just need a new challenge and more progression - what I wont be telling them is that from day 1 it was clear I am more competent than my manager, the politics are stifling and the culture is vile.

Leave. Definitely leave. Describe the time off as a sabbatical.

Watching with interest. I have a job like this and am waiting for them to make me redundant.

Find the strength you need to make the change. It sounds awful.

I work with lovely people now who keep me turning up to work, but when I had a horrible boss it affected every aspect of my life and made me so, so miserable. I made some terrible decisions as a result.

Find a new job asap and leave. If the job is an easy and flexible as you say, that 40% payrise was to trap you.

Don't fall victim to golden handcuffs, a few more years and you could be unemployable elsewhere.

I wouldn’t resign without a new job lined up personally. I think that would be madness